Original SWAT Kats Story

The Commander’s Sedan

By Ulyferal

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,882 Words

What if Feral’s car could speak? What would it say? (Oneshot – Complete)

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Author's Notes:

Author: ulyferal
Rating: E
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: “SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron,” its characters and concepts are copyright to Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Inc and are used without permission.

A/N: Another little one shot for Halloween. Enjoy!

“Kat’s Alive! Why did he have to blow in now!” Feral growled aloud as his enforcers were overwhelmed by some of the Pastmaster’s ghoulish pets. This time it was gargoyles… yuck!

As per usual, the dead wizard was flying rings around them and creating all manner of chaos. He added a twist to his visit this time by animating everything around him.

So, they ended up not only fighting gargoyles but animated trees, cars, lamp posts, building signs, you name it. The building signs would swat his choppers out of the sky while the lamp posts beat on the sedans on the ground.

Katizens fled but couldn’t get far before some mailbox tried to grab them or a tree snatched them from the ground. Screams filled the air, and he was at a loss as to how to deal with all this.

The SWAT Kats weren’t having any easier time of it either. Between avoiding the Pastmaster’s bolts from his magical pocket watch and the animated choppers and other obstacles that were attacking them, they were totally overwhelmed but gamely doing their best to clear the area of as many enemies as they could. The only thing that would put an end to this was taking out the Pastmaster fast.

Losing his own chopper to a gargoyle, Feral managed to ditch it and land rather hard on a nearby rooftop. Ignoring his painful muscles, he hurried down to the street, calling for backup. His sedan was where it usually was, in front of Enforcer Headquarters.

The battle scene had moved from city hall toward his headquarters as it seemed the Pastmaster had decided to eliminate them before trying for Ms. Briggs again.

When Feral managed to reach his vehicle and climb in, he was shocked when it spoke to him.

“Where to, sir?”

“Kat’s alive! Who’s talking to me?” he asked, bewildered as there was no one with him in the vehicle.

“Your car, sir. Where do you want to go?”

‘Oh, this can’t be happening!’ he thought. The car had started its engine and was impatiently revving it, waiting for Feral’s order. “Uh, I need to get to where the Pastmaster is now.”

“Right on!” The vehicle lunged ahead, peeling rubber and sending Feral’s head snapping backward.

Only minutes later, they reached the area where the SWAT Kats were still keeping the Pastmaster at bay, for which he was grateful. Most of the problems at the moment were all the other animated stuff that was terrorizing everyone.

He was about to climb out of the car when it locked its doors. “What the hell? Let me out of here!”

“No, sir… you need to stay safe. You fire from your window or direct your troops while I protect you,” it said firmly, then to his shocked surprise, it fired some kind of blue energy at the animated objects, making them freeze in mid motion.

Shaking his head in shock, he had no choice but to do what it said and fired from his window at whatever enemy passed by. He managed to take out quite a few gargoyles who had thought to try and capture him, the car adding to his fire at keeping them at bay or taking them out.

The battle went on for some ten minutes longer before the SWAT Kats finally managed to get a clear shot at the Pastmaster.

A perfect hit by Razor knocked that damn pocket watch from the Pastmaster’s skeletal paw. They caught him in a net, carrying him to the enforcers. With his power gone, everything went back to normal, including his car.

Sighing in relief, he took charge of the prisoner, had the watch that had fallen to the ground not far from him taken to the museum for safe keeping and even thanked the SWAT Kats.

That adventure had been more than a month ago, and it still had the power to invade his dreams at times. It had been one of their more crazier situations, and that was saying a lot when you were talking about Megakat City.

It was Halloween, and the day had been chaotic from the beginning with Viper attacking the Biochemical building and ending with a crime spree by a small enterprising gang of thieves through the diamond district. It made for a long day for him, and the night wasn’t going to be any quieter as trick or treaters filled the streets, then the crazies and criminal elements took the late night, creating more havoc like every other Halloween night in the past.

He resigned himself to not getting much sleep tonight. Not staying late, as was his wont, he went straight home at quitting time to see if he could at least get a meal and a nap before the evening’s chaos began.

The night did start off calm, to his relief, so he was able to relax, eat a meal before the TV, shower then take a nap. He hadn’t been asleep more than two hours when his radio toned.

Growling groggily to himself, he answered it. “Feral!”

“Sir, we’ve got a situation here. There’s a report of Hard Drive being seen near the Megakat Mint.”

“What? Why would he be there?” This wasn’t Hard Drive’s normal MO.

“We haven’t been able to figure that out, sir… wait… more coming in…” the dispatcher went off for a moment, leaving his Commander hanging impatiently.

“Sir,… it’s been confirmed. Hard Drive has opened the vault and is filling some bags. The guards have been knocked out, and several units are in route to the scene as we speak.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Yes sir, I’ll let them know.”

Climbing out of the bed hurriedly, he got dressed and was out the door in five minutes. Knowing the night was going to be busy, he’d brought his enforcer sedan home with him. He’d parked it out front of his apartment. Reaching it within minutes, he climbed in and zoomed to the scene. The radio traffic told him Hard Drive was still at the scene.

When he arrived, there was a cordon of enforcers surrounding the place, and Hard Drive was just leaving through a side door as he drove up and spotted him. The techno thief fired his devastating energy blasts, sending enforcers and their vehicles flying.

Scowling in anger, Feral screeched his vehicle to a halt and began to open the door when it refused to open.

“No, you stay inside. I’ll handle this,” his car said firmly.

To Feral’s shocked amazement, his vehicle turned itself around so it faced the side entrance and Hard Drive and fired that blue beam it had before. It struck Hard Drive in the chest, shorted out his coat and knocked him unconscious.

“There you go!”

“Uh, thanks, can I get out now?”

“Certainly, sir.”

When Feral tried the door handle, he was relieved when it opened easily. Trying to put the mystery of why his car was still animated, he went to take care of the scene.

More than three hours later, a tired Feral returned to headquarters. Parking his sedan that had said nothing more since it had dealt with Hard Drive, he sat there and stared at its dash.

“Uh, hello? How come you’re still animated when everything else returned to normal?” he asked, feeling really strange talking to his car.

For a long moment, there was no response then… “You needed me, and, for this one night, the magic of Halloween allowed me to do so. It is a pleasure serving you, sir, and I hope to continue doing so for years to come.”

Feral was nonplussed. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around this, but he did have manners so he said, “Uh, thank you… uh… for everything you’ve done for me…”

The car seemed to glow a moment. “You’re welcome, sir. Have a good night and sleep well.”

“Uhm… thank you.”

Getting real uncomfortable with this odd conversation, Feral hurriedly left the car and made for his hummer and went home. The whole episode had freaked him out, but at the same time made him feel warm inside. Odd as it was, it felt good to hear someone say they felt honored to work and defend him. Only his stalwart assistant, Sgt, Fallon, felt the same way. Everyone else simply gave him respect, which was good, but to be told you were that special to someone was an uplifting thing.

Feeling strange about the whole freaky day, he tried to put it behind him and get some sleep. The night was fairly quiet after that.

His car didn’t speak to him again, but his attitude toward it had changed. From that night on, he gave it special attention, keeping it clean, repaired, and tuned religiously. And, every now and then, he would give it a pat and tell it how wonderful it was. Those that caught him at it thought the Commander was getting a little touched in the head, but, since he didn’t do anything else crazy, they forgave him this odd quirk.

Feral didn’t care what they thought. The next Halloween he was pleased when the car once more animated for the night. He no longer was freaked by it and actually looked forward to the event which was to occur on every Halloween after that.

On those nights, he would go out and just cruise around, talking with the car, which turned out to have a very nice and intelligent personality. He found it was a good listener, and he could tell it his troubles and not be judged. The car would commiserate with him and even give him sound advice. By morning, he felt good in his heart, mind and soul… sort of like being with a therapist.

His life was harsh, hard and lonely, but the sedan made it all seem worth it and helped him carry on. When he was killed in battle many years later, he insured the sedan was buried with him in it. Many people’s eyes raised in disbelief, but his wishes were honored.

A decade later, on Halloween night, enforcer patrols swore they saw the Commander’s ghost. He and his sedan would be patrolling the streets they had when he was still alive. There were even reports of them saving people on those special nights, earning them a footnote in the lore of the city as the Ghostly Patrol.

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