Original SWAT Kats Story

Callie’s Spring Picnic

By Ulyferal

  • 1 Chapter
  • 3,371 Words

Calico Briggs has been trying to schedule a picnic with a certain someone, but everything seems to constantly interfere with her plans. (Oneshot – Complete)

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Author's Notes:

Author: ulyferal
Rating: K+
Warnings: Minor profanity.
Disclaimer: “SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron,” its characters and concepts are copyright to Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Inc and are used without permission.
Author’s Note: In response to the challenge, write a story about a Spring picnic with the canon characters, on SWAT Forum.

‘How hard is it to plan a picnic anyway?’Calico Briggs fumed to herself as she stared out her office window at the beautiful day.

For weeks now, she’d been trying to get a certain someone to come to a picnic with her, but every time she broached the subject, he was either too busy in his private life or the omegas were stirring up trouble.

She was becoming truly pissed by events that kept conspiring to destroy her plans.

Of the omega attacks, the first had been Turmoil; she’d buzzed in under the radar and shot up Feral’s control tower before the SWAT Kats managed to route her, but unfortunately, not capture her. Feral grumbled about that for days.

Because the guys were in the air and never landed, she never got the chance to pin down the one she wanted. She wasn’t about to call on their comm since that was supposed to be for emergencies only. She wasn’t that desperate yet.

The next omega to buzz through was Hard Drive trying to sneak out the plans for a new type laser pistol the enforcers desperately needed. He didn’t get away, again, thanks to the vigilantes. Unfortunately, she wasn’t on scene for that one so still didn’t get to tag her errant beau.

But, the worst offender, if one was taking a poll on the matter, had been Dr. Viper’s truly vicious attack. He took a whole different bent than was normal for him by developing… not a new form of plant monster….. but a new form of tiny bug that, when released in a building, would cause Kats to scratch their fur nearly off by the clawfuls in their frantic need to ease the intense itch caused by the nasty things.

He released the little beggars in city hall, the enforcer building and, she supposed….. just to be spiteful….. the Biochemical Labs. Of course, he had an ax to grind there in the first place.

It was hard to hold onto one’s decorum when doing the rumba and twitch while trying to ease the intense itching. The SWAT Kats hadn’t managed to avoid them either since they had come at her call to city hall and acquired some unpleasant passengers.

“Crud! I hate bugs! These things are vicious!” T-Bone exclaimed as he scratched frantically.

“Aaaah!” Razor cried as he did a jig, trying to reach everywhere on his body to relieve the intense itch. “That crud! Wait till I get my paws on him!”

“Callie! We’ve got to do something…… I can’t take this anymore!” the Mayor wailed, scratching his back against the door frame while clawing at his arms.

“Let’s get over to Enforcer Headquarters and see if Feral’s Biotech personnel are working on this,” she suggested as she scratched her face, then arms, then her legs and back again.

“Good idea….. to the Turbokat!” T-Bone growled as he charged for the door and ran upstairs, the rest following just as fast behind him.

In minutes, they arrived on the enforcer flight line and weren’t halted by their security. That wasn’t such a good thing, and they quickly found out why as they passed miserable enforcers rolling and scratching in near mindless urgency on their route to the labs.

“Well crap! He’s released those things here too!” T-Bone snarled as they burst through the main lab door.

Looking around, they saw more Kats scratching and whining. Moving through the labs, they came to Dr. Konway’s section and found Feral, Felina and Sgt Fallon. All were twitching and scratching but doing their best to try and maintain control.

Feral’s face was a rictus of pain and misery, but he stood close to Konway as the scientist tried to work feverishly on something in front of him. To help, Feral was scratching Konway’s back while Felina was handing the scientist whatever equipment or tool he asked for.

“Well, it looks like we came to the right place,” Razor groaned as they walked up to the group.

Feral barely looked at them, too focused on what Konway was doing. Surprisingly, Manx kept his mouth shut as he realized the scientist was desperately trying to find something that would kill the pests without harming the Kat they were infesting.

Everyone stood around the table, mindlessly scratching while they watched Konway kill bug after bug while muttering in angry dismay that what he was using wasn’t safe to use on Kats. He kept switching to different compounds.

“Damn it! The chemicals that are safe for us won’t kill the things, but the ones that will are too dangerous for Kats,” he hissed in frustration. “If only I could just think!” Growling as he scratched in irritation.

Razor frowned and tried to think. He could clearly see that, if they didn’t find a way to rid themselves of the pests, people would become violent and attack each other due to the overwhelming irritation making it impossible for them to think. He growled under his breath. “Viper did a great job with this. Everyone is soo distracted by the bugs, he can do as he pleases.”

“Dr. Konway, do you have a cold room?” he asked suddenly, a glimmer of an idea striking him.

Konway frowned and snapped at him before shaking his head and blinking. “Sorry. Yes, we do. Come on.” He walked over to another part of the lab to a small chamber where they conducted atmosphere and temperature levels for various projects.

“Okay, this is what I want you to do. I’m going into the chamber, and I want you to gradually lower the temperature. I’ll let you know when to stop,” Razor said grimly. First, he took his weapons harness off and glovatrix and handed them to his partner.

“What are you doing, buddy?” T-Bone asked in confusion.

“Just trying an experiment, T-Bone,” Razor gritted as he stepped into the chamber and nodded at the doctor to begin.

Konway went to his controls and began to lower the temperature. For some time, nothing happened, but gradually, Razor began to shiver and his teeth chattered, but he didn’t call a halt. Not more than ten minutes later, beginning to look like an icicle, Razor signaled Konway to stop.

They had to wait some ten minutes before the door could be opened. Nearly blue with cold, Razor was grinning through chattering teeth. “It worked!”

“But… but… we can’t all stand to get as cold as you did!” Mayor Manx blurted angrily.

“I don’t expect you to. I just wanted to be free of the bugs long enough to think clearly. That’s what’s wrong with you, doc. The itching is affecting your thinking. So, you need to enter the chamber and allow the bugs to be frozen,” Razor said, shoving the doctor into the chamber.

Konway had just enough presence of mind to hand his glasses over before the door was closed.

Razor manned the controls and carefully lowered the temperatures again. “Everyone stay back from me, so I can help the doc when he gets out of there,” he warned.

Everyone hurriedly did as he asked and moved to the other side of the room. Waiting was hard as they were now making bleeding wounds on their bodies from all the itching. Finally, Dr. Konway was clear and stepping out of the chamber, teeth chattering. Razor rubbed him down quickly to warm him up then they went back to the lab table and began to work.

Razor was already starting to itch as Konway ruled out more than ten compounds before finally hitting one that looked to be a good option. Repeating the test three times, he sighed in relief. He and Razor, who was really itching now, made up a batch of the solution quickly and put it in spray bottles.

Using the chamber, everyone was required to strip to their underwear and be sprayed. By this time none cared about modesty as they hurriedly did as ordered and stepped into the chamber where Razor sprayed everyone down.

The stuff stung wounds and made many eyes water from the pain. Konway was sprayed down by Razor first so that he could begin treating everyone’s wounds before they could become infected.

The last to be done were the SWAT Kats, who did each other. The rest were already out in the main lab. Konway had them step into the lab’s emergency shower and rinse completely off, dry then treated their wounds.

Sighing in relief and all wearing lab coats because their clothes needed to be thrown out, they quickly planned out how they were going to treat three buildings of victims. It was going to be a very long day.

Konway and Razor worked on a way to kill the things on a larger scale that was safer because the spread of the things was already occurring. It took them several hours, but, finally, they came up with a general, safe compound that could be sprayed over the whole city.

With the assistance of the enforcers and a plant spraying company, the Turbokat was outfitted with a giant spray tank, something like crop dusting, and was soon spraying the whole city, effectively ending the infestation. Unfortunately, whatever Dr. Viper was up to was never discovered, and the criminal himself had vanished again.

That had been several days ago and here she stood annoyed because she still hadn’t succeeded in getting her picnic set up. Suddenly, she had an idea. Quickly, she got on the phone and began making arrangements.

Two days later, the day bright and sunny, with no troubles appearing on the horizon, Callie called her favorite guys.

“Yes, Ms. Briggs?” came T-Bone’s gruff voice over the comm.

“No emergency this time, guys. But, I do want you to come to Megakat Park on the north side in one hour. Come by cyclotron,” she told him.

“Ahhh, I’m sorry, Ms. Briggs, but Razor and I are up to our necks in work and…….” T-Bone began apologetically.

“Now, you look here!” Callie snapped. “I’ve been trying to pull this off for over a month, and now that I’ve finally been able to make the arrangements, you are not backing out. Get your tails here in one hour! No arguments!”

T-Bone blinked in shock. ‘Woah! She’s pissed!” he thought in surprise. “Uh, sure whatever you say, Ms. Briggs. North side of Megakat Park in one hour,” he said meekly before cutting the connection.

Jake stared at him angrily. “Why the heck did you agree? We’re swamped here!” He waved at the number of cars waiting to be repaired.

“She didn’t exactly give me a choice, buddy, and was she ever pissed,” Chance said, scratching his head in confusion.

Jake blinked in surprise. “She was?”

“Oh yeah, about ripped my tail off. So, guess we’ll be working real late tonight.” He sighed in resignation.

Smiling in triumph to herself, Callie made another call.

“Feral here!”

“Commander…… Ms. Briggs. I need you to come to Megakat Park, north side in an hour,” she told him.

“What? Ms. Briggs…..” Feral started to object angrily.

“Stuff it, Commander. You will appear with Lt. Feral, Sgt Fallon and Dr. Konway in an hour. See you there,” she said firmly then hung up.

Feral gaped at his phone in shock. ‘What the heck is this all about?’ he wondered in annoyance. Scowling, he contacted his niece and instructed her to report to the park in an hour and gave her permission to land her chopper at the park since she was actively on duty. He reminded her to have her patrol covered while she was down. Then he called Konway and told Sgt Fallon when he came into Feral’s office.

One hour later, a group of confused and irritated Kats walked from the parking lot for a pavilion covered area of the park. Felina had parked a ways out so as not to knock over the tent she seen below her. Seeing her uncle arrive, she ran to his side and walked with him to the tent.

Ms. Briggs stood before the tent. Behind her were tables laden with food and a small band was already playing lively music as the group approached. From the left, the SWAT Kats arrived to stand not far from Feral and his group.

“Welcome all, so glad you could make it.” She grinned at them. “Now, I know you’ve been wondering what’s going on. Well it’s Spring and what better way to celebrate the start of warmer weather and to give everyone a lift in spirits after all the nasty omega business lately then to have a picnic. I’ve arranged this for all of you to let down your hair, as such, and just relax for an hour or two.

We all work far too hard for little credit or enough down time, and it’s bad for the city in general to have its important workers stressed out and irritable. So, come in and load up and enjoy. Do not feel guilty; your work isn’t going to run away, unfortunately, but you will feel so much more willing to dig into it again after a well deserved break. So, welcome to Megakat City’s first overworked pubic servants Spring picnic,” she proclaimed.

Everyone gaped at her for a long moment. Feral was completely taken aback by this gesture from the Deputy Mayor, but after a long moment’s thought, he relented and had to smile. It was kind of nice to be able to give yourself permission to play hooky. He saw a quite a few people who had been responsible for helping during the recent crisis’. The group was only about twenty strong.

Mayor Manx was standing near the makeshift bar and watching everyone with a magnanimous smile and welcoming gesture. When Callie had approached him about this, he’d been concerned about the costs, but when she pressed him and said everyone needed a break, he relented. It didn’t hurt his image either.

Finally shrugging his shoulders, Feral made for the tables of food. As if that were a signal, all the others milling around did the same. Very soon, every one had a plate of food and was making for the sunny spots all over the area and sitting on the grass, enjoying the warm day.

Giddy with success, Callie slipped up to her target as he had finished filling his plate.

“Come with me, Razor. I have a place picked out for you and me,” she cooed seductively, carrying her own plate.

Razor blinked then blushed, giving her a surprised smile as he let her lead him to a blanket she’d laid out for the two of them.

T-Bone was shocked and a little envious as he stood with his plate and wondered what he should do now when a husky voice spoke next to him.

“Well now, that was a surprise. Want to sit with me, handsome?”

“Ah, Felina…. uh… I mean Lt. Feral….” T-Bone stuttered, turning to see her standing to one side of him, smiling.

“Please, call me Felina; we’re not on duty right now. Come on……. you’re not afraid of me?” she asked, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.

Shaking himself mentally, he switched gears and grinned back at her wolfishly. “Not even, shall we?” he said, leading them to a patch of grass under a big oak tree.

Feral eyed the pair in surprised annoyance. ‘Oh great, that’s all I need. My niece getting mixed up with that vigilante.’

“That scowl permanent on your face, Commander? We’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves, Deputy Mayor’s orders,” a strange female voice inquired from just behind him.

He blinked in surprise as he turned to look to see who it was and saw the new M.E. for the city standing there. He’d met her at a recent staff meeting at city hall but hadn’t really taken the time to do more than say hello. She was a statuesque red head with brilliant blue eyes. She was giving him an interested eye. He felt a brief stab of heat from that look. ‘Well now, this could be interesting,’ he thought, his pique set aside for the moment. “It’s just hard for me to relax, but if you’re interested in sharing lunch with me, I could be persuaded to try,” he rumbled politely.

“Hmm, sounds like a challenge. You’re on.” She chuckled lightly as she lead the way to a private piece of lawn to sit on.

The picnic broke up some three hours later. As Feral dug into his desk load of work, he had to admit, Callie had been right. He felt energized and not as grumpy about having to work extra hours to complete his work that had backed up while he was gone. Though he had to admit, it was the picnic and a certain M.E. he had made a date with for tomorrow night that had him in such a good mood. He smiled at that and hummed while he worked.

Callie was in heaven. She’d finally gotten the shy cinnamon tom to relax and just talk. She loved his company and had managed to wring a promise of meeting again under more private circumstances soon. The picnic had been a fantastic success. Even though she had wanted it to be private, this had worked out so much better. She was also pleased to see Lt. Feral and T-Bone hit it off and was pleasantly surprised to see Feral getting up close and personal with the city’s new M.E. All in all a very successful day.

Chance hummed to himself as he and Jake worked till very late finishing the cars in their garage. He could see Jake’s tail swishing happily and knew he and Callie had reached an understanding. Though he had been at first disappointed the lovely she-kat was interested in his partner, he no longer held any qualms about letting her go. Felina was a hot she-kat, and they had many things in common. He looked forward to seeing her again soon.

Jake was thrilled and amazed. Callie had wanted him. He’d been worried about how Chance would take that but was pleased and surprised when the tabby seemed really happy with Felina. That was one hot she-kat, and he was glad for his partner.

He laughed to himself as he saw what Callie had done with this picnic. She’d admitted to him that she’d been trying to get him alone with her but nothing worked out until she hatched this plan. She’d gotten far more out of the picnic than she’d hoped and was thrilled by the surprising outcome. She was already planning another picnic for next year. Oh yeah, she was one smart she-kat, and she was his.

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