Original SWAT Kats Story

The Case of the Strangled Stranger

By Tom Wilder

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,346 Words

In the wake of an attack by Dr. Viper, Callie calls the SWAT Kats in to examine a curious sight. (Oneshot – Complete)

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While returning from their mission, T-Bone and Razor got another call from Deputy Mayor Callie Briggs.

“Aw, crud!  We just finished kicking Dr. Viper’s tail, and he’s already struck again!” T-Bone grunted.

“Either that or there’s a different problem,” Razor replied.  “A superhero’s work is never done.”

“Well, that’s true,” T-Bone admitted as he hit the pager.  “T-Bone here.  What’s the new problem, Miss Briggs?”

“Oops, sorry,” Callie apologized.  “I must’ve accidentally hit it.  False alarm.”

“Well, we forgive you,” said Razor.  “Sometimes you just bump into things.”

“Yes.  Well, since I still have a connection, I’ll go ahead and tell you the city is ever so grateful for the way you handled Dr. Viper, but I seem to have witnessed a strangling going on.  I mean, when I parked my car to check for what I thought was a flat tire but wasn’t, I then noticed a stranger stuck in a tree.  I tried to help him down, but my conscience was telling me ‘No, it’s a trick.’  But, I looked again and realized it’s nothing serious.  And, since I know who you are as far as other identities go, when you revealed it to Commander Feral, that is, you don’t have to show up dressed for battle.”

“Hang on just one second, Miss Briggs,” Razor replied.  “We’ll be right there.”

The SWAT Kats landed their Turbokat in its usual position inside the hangar, added another skull-and-crossbones to their victory count, donned their normal identities of Jake Clawson (Razor) and Chance Furlong (T-Bone), and drove over to where Callie was parked.  “So, where’s the strangled stranger at?” asked Jake after he got out of the truck.

“I’m up here!” cried the strangled stranger with his Scottish accent.  “I’d appreciate it if you get me self down from here!”

“Can’t you climb down?” Chance called.

“If only I could,” replied the stranger.  “I’m recovering from a car accident, you see.  While he was out striking with his mutants, Dr. Viper grabbed me in me wheelchair and stuck me up here so that I would not cause him any trouble, and I didn’t even do anything!”

“Hang on,” said Jake.  “We’ll get you down in a minute.  Besides, Commander Feral will want to hear this.  Here he comes.”

The two mechanics and the deputy turned to notice Commander Feral’s sedan.  He parked it, turned it off, and exited it.  Right behind him came Lt. Felina Feral, the Sergeant, and police detective Lenny Ringtail.

“What’s going on here?” Feral began, all business as usual.

“Some crazy cat with a Scottish accent is stuck up in that tree,” said Jake.  “He says Viper stuck him and his wheelchair up there to prevent him from intervening, and he didn’t even do anything.”

“Alas, there’s no respect for the Scottish,” Feral lamented.  “That’s what Tabor used to say, I learned recently.  Ringtail, what was that shooting gag of yours that got strangled people down while you were portraying Marshal Mitch Mathis on ‘Gunfighters of Carson City?’  Do that.”

“Oh, you mean the ricochet shot trick?” Lenny replied.  “Yes, that will get him down.”  He drew a pistol and aimed it at the tree branch.  “I have always wanted to do this for real,” he said to himself, smiling.  He pulled the trigger and fired.  The bullet ricocheted off the tree, several buildings, and finally back to the tree, successfully dropping the stranger, wheelchair and all.

Feral and the Sergeant took a net and caught the stranger while Felina and Callie grabbed the wheelchair.  Jake and Chance helped the stranger back into his wheelchair.  Lenny withdrew his pistol, and imitating his Mathis character, quoted a catchphrase from his show in his Mathis voice. “Lock ’em up, partner!”  He chuckled to himself.

“Ringtail, you never cease to amaze me,” said Feral.  “I never should have doubted you in the first place, even if Madkat did have possession of you.”

“All in a day’s work,” Lenny replied.

“I am ever so grateful,” said the stranger.  “What can I ever do to repay you?”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Felina replied.  “It is our unselfish duty to aid citizens free of charge.  We would like some information, however.  Your accent had us all curious.”

“Yes,” said the stranger.  “First allow me to introduce me self; we British like to keep things proper.  I am Sir Blake Catton, of Scotland.  I mentioned how I was in a car accident.  Well, that all goes back to that incident of Dark Kat and Hard Drive framing the SWAT Kats for, uh, well, oh, dash it all!  What was it?”

“That was when Dark Kat and Hard Drive stole the Turbokat and used it for evil,” Chance replied, covering up the fact he was T-Bone and Jake was Razor.

“Oh, I see,” said Catton.  “Anyways, Dr. Viper jumped to the false conclusion I was faking my injury so that I could leap out and interfere with him.  Back in Scotland, I used to be the police detective, and I see that is your job in this town, Mr. Ringtail.”

“It is,” Lenny nodded.  “Are you living here full time or just visiting?”

“Full time,” said Catton.  “I moved here when it became evident I lost my job, and there was no other place to get a job back home in the old country.  And, since the USA is supposed to be the land of opportunity, I saw it knocking, moved here, and now am looking for a job.  Of course, this injury is going to delay that, but I am still looking for a job.”

“What were you knighted for?”

“For assisting Captain Cripton in the capture, arrest, trial, and death of the Q4-Europe boss Andorkidropha, counterpart to the late Alkadozer.”

“Captain Cripton?” Jake exclaimed.  “He’s SUPERCAT’s British counterpart!”

“Now that you mention it, I think I may have a job opening in the detective department for us Enforcers,” Feral spoke up after putting some thought into it.  “Ringtail and my other detective, the villain formerly known as Hard Drive, are having problems trying to handle some of the tasks by themselves.  Care to apply?  It’ll be like you never left your old job, sort of.”

“Thank you kindly,” said Catton.  “When I heal from this injury, I am certain I shall be of good use to you.  Actually, the doctor did say it was only two more weeks, and I’m off the cast.  I am using crutches, but have been using the wheelchair interchangeably.”

“Here,” said Feral as the Sergeant helped him into the squad car.  “Let me help you in.  We’ll take you to HQ and get you a job application.”

The group drove back to HQ.  Callie waved good-bye to Chance and Jake as she drove back to the office.  The two heroes got in their truck and followed Feral to HQ.

(Because of Enforcer policy that Feral mentioned to Chance and Jake after learning about their real identities, he informed Catton that he was in the presence of the SWAT Kats, and Catton took the oath of secrecy.  “Your secret is safe with me, cross me heart and hope to die,” Catton promised.)

Two weeks later, when Catton fully healed from his injury, he cracked his first case involving the use of flour.  It took combined efforts from him, Lenny, and Hard Drive, but the case was cracked in no time.


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