“Are you feeling all right, Lenny?” Felina asked the detective as they escorted Rex Shard back to the prison attached to Enforcer HQ. The SWAT Kats and Mystery, Inc. followed the commanding officer and drove the same direction she did and would later listen to the questioning sessions later on.
“Let’s just say I’m going through mixed emotions right now, Commander,” Lenny replied. “I know it shouldn’t be taken personally, but it runs in the family. I do plan to put the past behind me. You’ve seen that. But, it doesn’t mean it’s not going to still attempt to bite back.”
“Of course. That’s the way life works.”
At HQ, Rex Shard was discovered to have been serving the sentence he previously had been serving, and while he answered the questions truthfully, some officers still didn’t want to believe him.
“No, I’m serious,” he said. “Madkat helped me bust out of jail because he was going to kill me otherwise.”
(Note that only Felina and Lenny were in the interrogation room, but by special permission, they used one of Razor’s inventions that allowed him, T-Bone, Scooby, and the kids to listen in. Razor would later relay the conversation to Mr. Jenkins, again with special permission. Videotape of specific events was also shown to all concerned.)
“How would he kill you in the event you wouldn’t obey him?” Felina asked.
“I think he would have possessed my body.”
“How’s that possible?” Lenny asked. “The only one he could do that to was me.”
“Or was it the fact his juggling balls had machine guns in them?”
“That sounds more logical. Still, Madkat was a prankster-type sort of villain for the most part. I can’t imagine him killing anybody. Did he threaten your life, though?”
“He did, and I wonder if I should have let him kill me. Still, I chickened out, and so I joined him in the fun-house We used the amusement park for our hideout, but we didn’t build that.”
“So, it is real.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“The park hasn’t been open for two weeks now, and the citizens began to wonder if it was a fake amusement park because everybody kept seeing you and Madkat running the place.”
“Which we did because it was our hideout.”
“What do you know about the counterfeit money I have here?” Felina showed Rex some of the counterfeit 1’s, 2’s, 5’s, and 10’s that were spreading around town like weeds.
“I don’t remember there being 1’s and 2’s; just 5’s and 10’s.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It was Madkat’s idea to start with, but before he busted me out of jail, he had been robbing a few banks and sending the cash to an anonymous benefactor.”
“So, you didn’t create the phony cash?”
“No; I just helped Madkat spread it, knowing it would save my life, even if it’s going to extend my prison sentence.”
“Are we correct to say the benefactor would kill you if you gave away his or her identity?”
“That’s exactly right. As it happens, I don’t even know who it is. That way, they could carry out the operation. After all, dead cats tell no tales.”
“That’s not always true, but it would be in this instance.”
“How come you don’t remember there being 1’s and 2’s?”
“I think it’s because the benefactor originally promised only phony 5’s and 10’s in exchange for the real thing. I figured they’d ask for 20’s because 20 is the most common banknote.”
“That does puzzle me. Maybe they didn’t have time to do 20’s.”
“Why the sports themes on the money?”
“That I don’t know. They must have their reasons. Or they’re just flat-out stupid. I don’t know. I figured they’d try to make it look like the real thing. That’s what I would have done if I were the counterfeiter. All I did was go with the act. What I don’t know is how the judge will react because, as the tape showed you, all the main work in passing the phony bills around the rides and the refreshment stands was Madkat’s doing, alongside any cronies he summoned, disguised as regular civilian cats. It was so easy he couldn’t resist.”
“Even though he knew it was against the law to pass around stuff that isn’t legal tender?”
“What did he have you do?”
“Give out phony money at the admissions gate if I needed to make change. I think 75% of the customers were paying with their credit cards, though.”
“Most people just charge it these days, yes.”
Later, when the commander and her detective met back up with the SWAT Kats and the kids, Felina began, “So ,you all heard everything that was said, yes?”
“Yes, we did,” said Fred. “What do you think?”
“I think he’s telling the truth. All he did was pass around the illegal tender.”
“So, who’s spreading it?” Shaggy asked.
“That we don’t know yet,” Lenny replied, shaking his head. “The brains of this counterfeiting ring is still running loose out there, and we don’t have a single clue to his identity yet.”
“I do wonder…” Fred thought aloud.
“What is it, Freddy?” T-Bone asked.
“I wonder if there is a clue in the fact that George Washington looks like a basketball player, and Thomas Jefferson looks like a baseball player.”
“I also wondered if the color of the cardboard boxes had something to do with it,” Velma suggested. “They weren’t brown as I expected cardboard to be. They were gray.”
“Say, that’s right. They were gray. And, since the three business investors in question were all trying to buy out Jenkins so they could sell their vodka, they would have to use gray boxes. All the vodka that we confiscated about three weeks ago had gray labels.”
“Do any companies in this town manufacture gray cardboard boxes?”
“None that I know of; they’re all brown.”
“Maybe there’s a new company in town we don’t know about.”
Later, the same procedures were used again, but this time the ones being questioned were Dublin, Michaels, and Jerky. They originally got the same answers as before: Dublin was golfing, Michaels was bowling, and Jerky was playing darts at the pub with a friend. Further investigations from the videotape confirmed they were telling the truth.
“But, you are trying to buy Jenkins out, aren’t you?” Lenny asked.
(And again, the SWAT Kats, the kids, and Scooby were listening in. Incidentally, Razor had a selection of hidden cameras he sold to Felina and the Enforcers, which is how they were able to use this videotape as evidence.)
“Only under pressure,” said Dublin.
“Are you all in the same vodka business, or different ones?”
“No, we each have our own vodka business. They’ve been running in the family for three generations each. It also doesn’t help our parents hate one another to the extreme.”
“So, they’re each running their own business, and you’re helping them?”
“Right, but I didn’t want to do it at first.”
“No! I don’t even drink! I don’t like the smell of vodka! I do confess, I have been calling Mr. Jenkins over the phone, giving him quotes and estimates.”
Michaels and Jerky gave the same testimony.
“So, what you’re saying is you’re only doing this because your parents said so?”
“And, what if you refuse?”
“They’d hire a gunman to kill me.” Dublin paused to clear his throat.
“They’d hire a gunman?”
“For him, yes,” said Michaels. “In my case, my parents would lie to you just to get me in jail as punishment for not doing what they say.”
“And you, Mr. Jerky?”
“They threatened to disown me and have me deported after proving I was an illegal alien. But, I was born here. You can’t deport a citizen!”
“No, you can’t.”
Watching more videotape showed the parents had indeed bullied their kids with these threats. Dublin’s parents even went as far as to lie to him along the lines of, “Clearly, you’re the dumbest being ever!” All of them, however, kept on preaching the lies about what one’s parents’ occupations were determined what their kids should be, no questions asked. Jerky’s parents, living up to their names and being jerks, went as far as to brutally beat him for not buying out the business.
“We want to make amends with Mr. Jenkins, but instead, we kept on making offers,” Jerky concluded.
“How old are you people?”
“Not as old as one might think,” said Dublin. “I’m actually just 24 years old, with a business degree.”
“I’m 26,” said Michaels.
“And, I’m 27,” said Jerky. “He and I were roommates in college.”
“You’re obviously old enough to make your own decisions,” Lenny commented. “Yet, your parents act as if you’re still little kids.”
“What businesses would you want to run if you could?” Felina asked.
“I’d rather be involved in golf stuff; that’s why I was playing golf,” said Dublin. “I prefer sports.”
“And, both of us would work together to open our own bowling center,” said Michaels. “Just without alcohol.”
“Is that why all the counterfeit money has a sports theme to it?” Felina asked, showing the trio the fake money again.
“I’m not sure,” said Jerky, “because we were concentrating on trying to buy Jenkins out.”
“Did you three know about the involvement of Madkat and Rex Shard?” Lenny asked.
“Madkat’s back from the dead?” Jerky exclaimed.
“He was; now his soul is forever burning in the flames of Hades.”
“Oh, dear; what a way to go.”
After some further discussion, everybody came to the agreement that Dublin, Michaels, and Jerky were all telling the truth. They still didn’t know who the counterfeiter was, but it was clear that the one guilty of doing the counterfeiting was cooperating with Madkat and Rex Shard. Further discussions allowed between Rex and the trio confirmed it. Rex didn’t know who the counterfeiter was either, and so he said, “All I do know is that in exchange for real cash that was stolen from the banks, the counterfeit money would be sent to us in its place. Then we passed around the phony cash at the amusement park’s rides and concession stands.”
“So, you don’t know why the phony cash has sports decals on it?” Dublin asked.
“No, I don’t. Whoever was doing it must have thought he was being funny.”
“We don’t know if it was just one person, or if it was a ‘he’ or ‘she,'” Lenny interjected.
“We need some more clues,” Daphne sighed.
“I think we’re making progress, though,” Felina commented. “It’s just a matter of figuring out who the counterfeiter is now because we’ve already taken care of Madkat and Rex, sort of. And, everybody here was honest. Maybe too honest.”
“Whatever’s the case, I think we need to go back to the warehouse and check it out some more. Maybe we’ll be able to catch the counterfeiters there,” Fred continued.
“A smart idea, Fred,” Felina replied. “I’m sure glad we met up with the likes of you. Let’s move out, then!”
“Yes, ma’am!” everybody said in unison (even Scooby), and T-Bone added, “To the Turbokat, Razor!”
“Kids, to the Mystery Machine!” Fred echoed.
“What about us?” Dublin asked.
“The two of you bowlers can come with me,” Felina replied.
“And, I don’t mind driving you around for just a bit, Mr. Dublin,” Callie added (since she was there), “since the one that was once mayor loved golf.”
“We have a deal, then,” said Dublin. “Uh, do you play golf?”
“No, I don’t. I don’t play any sport. At least not on a regular basis.”
“I see.” Everybody ran to their respective transportation and headed on back to the warehouse.
Navigate This Author's Stories
Disclaimer: SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron is copyright to Hanna-Barbera Cartoons Inc. All Rights Reserved. © 1995. All other characters and material within this page are the property of their respective creators.