Original SWAT Kats Story

Hanging Out at Bob’s Diner

By Tom Wilder

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,524 Words

The SWAT Kats and the Biker Mice From Mars hang out at, where else? Bob’s Diner. Crossover and a response to the Kat N’ Mouse Challenge. (Oneshot – Complete)

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Author's Notes:

I tried to meet my own challenge of mixing the SWAT Kats with the Biker Mice from Mars, Mighty Mouse, or Danger Mouse with this story.

While dining at a hamburger chain known as Bob’s Burgers that also offered hot dogs (and the root beer, of course), Throttle, Modo, Vinnie, Stoker, Carbine, Charley, and Modo’s nephew Rimfire, celebrated their latest victory over Lawrence Limburger. Having destroyed his tower time and time again, the magnificent seven spent many hours snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. The music station was playing hard rock with America’s favorite DJ, “Sweet Georgie” Brown, doing commentary. Brown even came on the radio on announced, “Whoa! We interrupt this rockin’ scent to bring you an exciting news flash, buddies! Those totally awesome Biker Mice from Mars have done it to the Big Cheese, Lawrence Limburger, again! His tower’s totally bogus! The whole city of Chicago is celebrating once again, and so am I, with this next rockin’ hit, ‘Mineral Rock and Roll’ from Guns and Noses!” The music resumed.

Vinnie chuckled. “Is that Sweet Georgie Brown the baddest DJ in the whole universe or what?”

“He’s bad, all right,” Modo smiled. “I’ll never forget the time he almost caused us to break up our friendship forever.”

“I’ll never forget that one, either,” Throttle agreed. “That’s a tough act to follow. Now I understand it was Evil Eye Weevil the entire time.”

“But, didn’t Limburger send for him?” Rimfire asked.

“He did, Rimfire,” Modo nodded. “He did. He’ll tell Karbunkle to import anything. There was one memorable occasion where the monsters he imported were a bigger threat than he was. The only way to save Chicago was by use of bringing Limburger back. That was one of the few times we didn’t bother to trash the tower while we were there.”

“I heard it fell anyway,” Charley replied. “That was Grease Pit’s doing.”

Apparently, Charley was telling the truth, for after the mice left during that particular occasion, Limburger shouted, “Drat those dormice! Don’t they ever use doors?!”

“Well, look on the bright side,” said Karbunkle. “At least your building is still standing for once.”

“Yeah. Kind of a lot of loose bricks, though,” Grease Pit added, picking up a brick.

The building shook a bit, leading Limburger to glare at Grease Pit. “Grease Pit, my dear, dear boy,” he began.

“Yes, boss?”

“YOU ARE A LOOSE BRICK!” Limburger screamed as the tower collapsed.

When it was all over, Grease Pit was heard to say back, “Uh, was that a compliment, boss?”

Limburger didn’t answer, and Grease Pit knew it was the wrong question to ask.

“What was going on by the time Stoker and Carbine got here, Uncle Modo?”

“I think that was during the time of Evil Eye Weevil. Is that what it was, Stoker?”

“Yes, it was. I just didn’t want the sun exposed to me. That’s what’s turning me into that rat-like creature.”

“And, that’s why you cruise around as Nightshift?”

“Yes, it is. Originally, I used it as a disguise while everybody thought I was a traitor. Thanks for showing your loyalty despite that, Vinnie.”

“Hey, bro. Anytime. I knew you’d never betray us. I just felt sorry that all our brothers and sisters had to flee to Earth after the Plutarkians and Catatonians ruined Mars for eternity.”

“Yeah, but look at the bright side,” Throttle interjected. “NASA doesn’t have to worry about looking for life on Mars anymore, because there isn’t any. It’s all here. And, besides, if it weren’t for those awesome fighter pilots known as the SWAT Kats, those Catatonians would still see the light of day.”

“Well, I don’t remember them looking like that,” Carbine perked up, noticing Jake Clawson and Chance Furlong walk into the diner. No one saw Captain Grimalken walk in after them; he went directly to the restroom.

“That’s because those are their so-called ‘secret identities,’” Charley replied. “You might want to play along with the scenario.”

“I can do that.” Carbine smiled.

The two mechanics took their orders and sat down at a table next to the mice, not noticing they were there until they sat down.

“Hey, Chance,” Jake exclaimed. “Look who’s here.”

“Well, well, well! If it ain’t our biker buddies from Mars!” Chance said gleefully. “Give me five, Throttle!” The two high-fived one another. “How’ve you been?”

“Fantastic. How about you?”

“Oh, exhausted. We just came back from kicking Dr. Viper’s tail!”

“Excellent!” Modo grinned. “You kick ’em; we whip ’em!”

“We rock and ride, you rock and fly!” Vinnie added, laughing his signature triumphant laugh and high-fiving Jake.

“You all remember Stoker and Carbine, don’t you?” Throttle continued.

“We do,” Jake replied, “but not the brown guy.”

“Him? Oh, him. That’s my nephew, Rimfire. We decided to add him to our rock band just recently.”

“Really? What do you play?”

“I’m also doing electric guitar. I haven’t had any big solos yet.”

“Sweet. Jake and I sometimes have a hard time getting a large group following on some of our lead vocals. I mean, whoa! Grimalken gets up in front of that microphone and just blows them all away.”

“Oh, yeah,” Throttle nodded, pausing to take a sip of root beer. “He just tears up the stage. Sometimes I think you don’t need all those lights; he’ll light up the scene himself.”

At that moment, Grimalken emerged, rock-star clothing, sunglasses, and all. “You lookin’ for me?” he began.

“Hey, it’s the Captain!” Vinnie exclaimed.

“We were just talking about you, in a praise sort of way!” Carbine smiled.

“Oh, thank you!” Grimalken laughed. “I get it all the time. I must confess, I think I lose my sanity. I go up to the mike, and this, uh, ‘other cat’ just creeps up inside me, and I just go nuts!”

“He loses it!” Jake added. “When I first heard him sing, I thought, ‘Whoa! We’ve met our match!’ I wanted to go back to taking guitar lessons!”

“It takes a whole of lot guts and glory to beat the SWAT Kats Band!” Grimalken continued. “We have a hard time believing we’re still at the top of the charts with our single, ‘Alley Cat Blues.’ You guys are giving us a run for our money, though.”

“Hey, that’s what rock and roll is all about, blue guy!” Throttle replied. “Competition. I didn’t think I’d provide a worthy rock voice, but apparently I do. We like to alternate around.”

“Remind me again who plays what?”

“All right. Vinnie and I are the electric guitars, and, recently, we’ve added Rimfire to that. Charley girl plays keyboard while Carbine sometimes does an acoustic guitar, or otherwise adds to the effect with the tambourine. Stoker’s our drummer, and what an awesome job he does.”

“Sometimes it’s harder doing that than being a General of the Freedom Fighters, but it’s worth it. Sometimes I have a fear of throwing everybody off tempo.”

“It’s not as easy as it looks. Fango had an advantage because he’s played the drums before, though from the other extreme of this town: the marching band.”

“Just how many of them are there?” Charley asked.

“Too many to count,” Jake replied. “That’s what makes this town such a tourist attraction, however, in addition to SUPERCAT and his G-52 army of supers and non-supers. Mighty Mouse and Danger Mouse actually were inducted into their group of ‘allies’ just last night, and this morning, Atomic Mouse, that comic book superstar from the 1950s and 60s, and recently in a 2001 comic, was inducted. One great thing about being a superhero is that you never age. You’re vibrant forever. So, we’ve got another 30 years of hits coming America’s way.”

“So do we, Jake,” Modo smiled. “So do we.”

The conversation continued. All in all, it was a great night.

The next day, the SWAT Kats and the Biker Mice took some time to get acquainted with Mighty Mouse, Danger Mouse, and Atomic Mouse. After all, the stronger your bond between you and someone is, the better you are at fighting evil.


NOTE: This happens in a made up city by me: Wildcat City, Kansas, USA. (I have yet to incorporate my own characters with the SWAT Kats but still put emphasis on the SWAT Kats.)

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