Original SWAT Kats Story

Garbage In, Garbage Out

By Tom Wilder

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,280 Words

Frustrated with defeat after defeat, Dr. Viper makes one more attempt to literally trash MegaKat City. (Oneshot – Complete)

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It had been several weeks since Dr. Viper attempted his plan to literally trash Megakat City to its doom and ended up experiencing what it was like to see Captain Grimalken prove he really was the world’s mightiest guitar hero.  It did not stop the half-cat, half-snake from trying, but it all seemed it was all in vain.  No matter what Viper did, the SWAT Kats, with the help of the Enforcers (and Grimalken if necessary), always pulled the plug on his plans.

“What am I to do about this?” he hissed to himself one day.  “No matter what I do, those SWAT Kats are such a pain in my tail.  The sooner they die, the sooner I can rule Megakat City.  It doesn’t help me that Dark Kat and Hard Drive have turned traitor on me, but that’s another story.  It will be done.  I will be the ruler of this miserable town even if it takes me until the day I die.  Count on it!”

Viper walked over to his new machine, his Trashinator 2000, and set the coordinates for it to attack Enforcer H.Q.  “Perfect!” he shouted.  “With Enforcer H.Q. kaput, those SWAT Kats will be of no use to bother me.  Their precious Turbokat will run out of fuel, and they’ll have nowhere to land.  Then they shall crash.  They shall die.  Megakat City is as good as mine!”  He started up the machine and headed for his destined target.

Now it should be pointed out that one of the main drawbacks to Viper’s plan was that, because he had been striking plots for such a long time, he was getting to the point where the city was anticipating his plans well in advance, unbeknownst to him, of course.  Thus, when Viper set out to unleash his garbage on Enforcer H.Q., an Enforcer pilot flying a jet caught sight of the approaching Trashinator 2000 and reported it to Commander Feral.

“It says ‘Trashinator 2000,’” he said over the intercom.  “I remember Viper trashing this town before, so I can only conclude he’s the one behind the machine.”

“Whether he is or not, the machine has to be stopped.  Thanks for the update,” Feral replied.  He shut off the intercom and ran to the chopper Felina was piloting.  “Okay, Felina,” he said.  “Let’s go fry that ferocious freak’s machine!”

“Gotcha, Uncle,” Felina replied, taking off and heading in the opposite direction of the Trashinator 2000.  “Should I call the SWAT Kats?  Oh.  That’s a risky question to ask.”

“I know, but I respect those two,” Feral nodded.  “It was wrong for me to want to unmask them in the first place.  They should be informed, but Miss Briggs is the one that normally does that.  And, now that she’s the mayor and not Manx’s deputy anymore, it is more important than ever.  You just pilot this helicopter and get ready to attack—or defend, whichever is the case—and I’ll call Miss Briggs.  She knows how to reach the SWAT Kats.  I don’t.”

“Will do, Uncle,” Felina replied, turning her attention back to the Trashinator 2000.  Feral picked up his walkie-talkie and requested a call to Callie, which he received.  He proceeded to tell her what was happening, and she, in turn, reported it to the SWAT Kats, who ran to their jet, wasting no time at all.

By the time Viper was ready to pour his trash on Enforcer H.Q., Feral ordered the Enforcers to attack at full power, as well as activate a shield Razor invented (and got a patent for) that protected Enforcer H.Q. and other important buildings from the incoming trash.  (Razor was working on a smaller version that could work with homes and small businesses, but had to put that on hold to fulfill his duty as a superhero.)

T-Bone flew the Turbokat towards the Trashinator 2000 at 6 G’s.  “Great chance here, buddy!” he reported.  “That creep doesn’t even know we are gunning for him!”

“But, he knows the Enforcers are on the march,” Razor replied.  “That’s why we have to sneak up behind him.”

“I’m within 500 feet and closing.”

“Then, here we go.  Microwave blasters, deployed!”

Razor’s missiles headed for the Trashinator 2000.  While he scored a direct hit, the Trashinator still deployed its trash down upon the unsuspecting public (or so Viper thought), but the citizens did not panic over it.  They took the nearest available shelter.

“Whoa, déjà vu!” the Sergeant said to himself, watching the battle from inside Enforcer H.Q.

“Now, Felina!” Feral growled as his niece opened fire on the Trashinator.

Viper fired trash at the chopper and managed to mess up its path, but the advanced windshield wipers (again, another one of Razor’s brilliant ideas), kept the two officers aware of where they were going, and in no time at all, Felina opened fire once again.  This time, Viper wasn’t prepared for it, as his Trashinator short-circuited and headed for Enforcer H.Q.  Because of the shield that Razor installed, the Trashinator bounced off the force field and headed for a nearby forest, where it finally touched down with explosive results.

Several other Enforcer officers (one of whom was the Sergeant) promptly located Viper and took him back to jail.  The Turbokat landed safely at the appropriate place after Feral ordered deactivation of the shield, and the SWAT Kats exited their jet to check in with the commander, although having to fire one more set of shots at one little piece of trash that Felina pointed out was headed their way.

“Nice work, SWAT Kats,” Feral congratulated.  “Thanks to you, Viper’s behind bars again!”

“We couldn’t have done it without you and your troops,” T-Bone replied.

“Yep,” said Razor.  “Don’t know if we ever acknowledged that, at least while you still thought of us as troublemakers.”

“Indeed, but I do not want to fight with Miss Briggs anymore,” Feral spoke up.  “She was right all along.  What motivated Viper to try again anyway?”

“I don’t know,” said T-Bone, turning and noticing that Grimalken was standing right behind him, “but one thing’s for sure: we did it without the Captain.  Sorry if we upset you, Grimalken.”

“Oh, that’s all right,” Grimalken replied, smiling.  “No apology needed.  My guitar needed a rest anyway.  She’s been put to good use too much as it is, having foiled Viper’s previous trash plot.  But, I really came here just to put a reminder that our next show is coming up very soon.  It’s actually part of that huge rock festival Wildcat City has every year, the Rockapalooza, and it’s going to be the biggest one they ever had.  Sonic JAM and the Martian Freedom Fighters are also performing, and Sonic told me the fans would be disappointed if we didn’t show up.”

“Tell him we’ll be there,” Feral replied.  “We can’t let him down, much less the public.”  He turned to the SWAT Kats.  “Thanks again.  Next time Viper unleashes his tail, we’ll inform you as soon as possible.”

“And, we’ll be all over him like concrete on a sidewalk block,” Razor promised.  “Count on it!”


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