Original SWAT Kats Story

Feral’s Funeral

By Tom Wilder

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,887 Words

The cast comes out to speak over the passing of a MegaKat City icon. (Oneshot – Complete)

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Author's Notes:

“SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron” is a trademark of Hanna-Barbera and Cartoon Network. Leo the Patriotic Lion, G-52s, and Wildcat City belong to ME and ME ALONE! Blue belongs to FA user BlueMario1016.

Leo the Patriotic Lion here. Well, it’s a sad day for all of us. It’s a sad day for the fans of the show as well. I’ll tell you why. When Cripto’s powers accidentally brought those cartoon and video game characters into the real world, although they continued to be seen in their shows, games, and comics, some of them were saved from death because they accidentally got exposed to CNG, but others did not. We don’t know for certain who did and who did not, except for this one little detail. Commander Ulysses Feral, police officer in charge of the Enforcers for Megakat City, continued to lead them when they were brought to Wildcat City. He was part-time guitarist for the SWAT Kats Band and part-time skater when roller derby was big.

Now, Feral has been killed in the line of duty. For when he was trying to stop a bank robber, the robber shot and mortally wounded him. When the rest of the police apprehended the killer, all the people could do was groan, gripe, complain, and rant. For the killer turned out to be old nutso fatso himself, Bendraqi, and the money was for his scheme to replace all of natural life with robots and factories, forever polluting the skies. Thus, Feral was Bendraqi’s first casualty in the whole robot scheme.

Leo the Tiger’s friend Blue, having been the first to tell him about this, was bawling over this, but that was also because Bendraqi’s pouter germs had infected him. So, the Marching Wonder spent the night helping Blue calm down by treating Blue (in his tiger cub form since he could change from a human to a tiger cub, wolf, or dragon) to a nice relaxing bath, and the heat transfer helped to kill some of the germs.

“The rest of the treatment involves us being outside for a time,” he said.

“I just can’t believe this!” Blue continued sobbing. “Why did he have to kill Feral? He must be brought to justice!”

“He has,” Leo replied. “Thunder Fox put him back in Alcatraz, and then some new supervillain group, the F5 Terror Unit, destroyed his base, after freeing all the hostages, of course. One of them, Red Thunder, raced but lost against King Leo in his role as Captain Kriegland.”

Blue listened attentively, but couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t seem to comprehend at first that taking away Bendraqi’s life would only unleash a chain of darkness that might destroy our world all over again, according to Zanta, and I had fears that, if it did happen again, Eraquis would not bother to restore it. Or would he? Either way, he’d be irritated, I am guessing, because it takes a long time for him to fully restore a world when he approves of doing so. I’ll have to check with Zanta on that.

Upon learning of her uncle’s injury, Lt. Felina Feral rushed straight to the hospital as soon as her duty in apprehending a different criminal was finished, and she was there by his side as he laid down on what would be his deathbed.

“I don’t think I can make it,” Feral had said with his dying breath, “so I want you to take over for me. Farewell, Felina.”

This implied that he wanted her to be the new commanding officer, and she nodded. Her nodding to the remark while some tears flowed from her eyes was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes for good.

Probably what’s the most bizarre element is this: in Wildcat City, because we are the music capital of the world, there are times when you may hear Christmas carols all year round, but you don’t hear them often, unless it is Christmastime. As a result, specific songs may be sung if a funeral happens in winter. This is a weird tradition springing up from the founders of the city, of whom I am a descendant, but I’ve already told you that tragic story. The singing of these songs always happens later on, after the official end of the funeral.

But, this is the reason why I would join King Leo, the Avenger, Warwolf, pop singer Molly Jewel, and all six members of Furry Fury (including Cripto) in singing an a cappella of the Spanish villancico “Ríu Ríu Chíu,” because it was in wintertime and Wildcat City was getting a bunch of snow. It wasn’t, however, stopping the flow of traffic, because the plows were on the job, and everybody was spending their days shoveling paths.

So, we had the service on Wednesday of last week, and it happened at the oldest church in Wildcat City, the same church were Cripto met Father Alphonse after taking huge injuries himself. Out of respect for the fallen officer, no television or newspaper cameras were shooting this, but we did have the Krieglandonians leading us in a funeral procession to the church and, later, over to Wildcat National Cemetery, where to this day he is buried. Felina, the SWAT Kats, and others took turns to eulogize him, and, at Felina’s request, I presided as emcee at the ceremony. We drove our cars very slowly and used our hazard lights on the way to the cemetery, and Leo the Tiger’s pipe and drum band took main precedence over the musical proceedings, with the other two bands joining in, as well as the Royal Ensemble.

In one of my remarks, I said, “Today, we are gathered here to mourn the loss of Commander Ulysses Feral. He has seen his duty and done us all proud by doing it. He was killed in the line of duty while trying to stop a bank robbery. The killer, which, as everybody knows, was Bendraqi, will do anything to get his way. Feral shall be remembered for his great sacrifice. For while he took a blow that sealed his fate, Bendraqi was captured.”

“He may have hated us for making him look bad,” Jake Clawson chimed in at one point, “but the truth of the matter was that Chance and I still respected him. He was an officer, after all. His biggest drawback was doing everything by the book; as a result, he told us to back off from what we doing just as we were about to take down Dark Kat once and for all. Instead, Dark Kat lived to fight another day. Yet, Feral was a great cat. He will be dearly missed.”

“I have since repented from my evil ways and modes upon arriving in this world,” said Dark Kat, “but, make no mistake, I had several occasions where I played a role in helping the commander solve some of the most difficult cases.”

“I may be a stand-up comedian as well as a part-time officer for the Enforcers,” Lenny Ringtail added, “but there is no joking around here. An officer is somebody you do not poke fun at anyway. What I will probably miss about Feral the most is his natural-born ability to show great leadership, even if he did have to do everything by the book. Some of the best things are done when you don’t go so much by the book but by the heart. I think that’s something the whole city can learn from, since I, too, was just as upset as Feral was when the whole Neo-Luddite labeling frenzy began.”

“Feral helped me to turn my life around,” Hard Drive added. “While I was still serving my sentence, he found a way to simultaneously hire me to the Enforcers. The prison cell I was in was part of the main H.Q. space because it was being converted into an office. Today, it is my office space. I have much to thank Feral for, and that’s not the only thing.”

“I fought hard to keep him from unmasking the SWAT Kats,” Callie spoke up when it was her turn, “but I don’t remember what exactly he used as a charge in order to do that. I don’t think they were doing anything wrong. His biggest chance came when Hard Drive took over the Turbokat. But, the positives about Feral are that he always did his job out of integrity and fairness, even if he was power-hungry at times.”

“I was there by his side when he died,” Felina put in. “His last wish was to wish me well as I take over his position in leading the Enforcers. And, with this Bendraqi you speak of going loose on his robot rampage, it is not going to be easy. While at times I felt irritated having to take orders from my uncle, he always had good intentions.”

Being a cat of few words, the Sergeant simply said, “Commander, I salute you!” He followed with the appropriate gesture, and I followed suit.

The music played at the cemetery included a playing of “Taps” by March and Drum the Lions, naturally, as well as other pieces to fit the scene. All the while, Blue hugged the Marching Wonder tight. When the ceremony was officially over, the select group of us gathered around the deceased Feral, and Cripto led us in singing “Ríu Ríu Chíu.” When we finished that, Felina put a flower on his gravesite. We paused for a few more moments of silence before we walked back to our cars to leave, although Felina stayed behind by herself. We sang the song after the treatment was complete, because, in Wildcat City, funeral services still have the deceased buried right there during the service, instead of later on after everybody has left.

When we met at M3 later on, Leo had Cripto examine Blue.

“No, you’re good,” he said. “All the pouter germs are gone. A bit more time in the sunshine when the weather warms up will do you some good. But, it’s finally gotten around to snowing around here.”

“Good,” said Blue, hugging Cripto. He then proceeded to calm himself down before getting his order, although he later went to give a hug to Felina.

Meanwhile, Jake and Chance sketched down some lyrics in order for their rock band to do a tribute to Feral, and Cripto made a note that, due to production problems at the studio, the arrangement of “Ríu Ríu Chíu” that they sang at the cemetery wouldn’t be able to appear until their next album was done, although it was a bonus track. The studio recording again had the six of us – Molly Jewel, myself, King Leo, Warwolf, and the Avenger, and it was about the same amount of time we took to sing it today.

R.I.P. Ulysses Feral. You’re gone, but you’re never going to be forgotten.

THE END

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