Original SWAT Kats Story

Every Cat Has His Day

By Tom Wilder

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,733 Words

Colonel Parkinson returns to warn Commander Feral about a possible kidnapping attempt. Crossover with Sonic the Hedgehog. (Oneshot – Complete)

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Author's Notes:

“SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron” is a trademark of Hanna-Barbera and Cartoon Network. Sonic the Hedgehog is owned by SEGA.

It was a bright and sunny day in Megakat City, and cats all over town were flying their American flags with pride. It was almost like it was the 4th of July, though that wasn’t for two months at least. For the SWAT Kats, it reminded them of why their musical day jobs involved Konway’s Korps, as most rock bands perform at night. This also explained why informal music coming from the SWAT Kats was always the patriotic kind. In this case, Razor, having taught himself to play the fife, was playing “Old Dan Tucker” while T-Bone accompanied him with his drum. By a strange habit, the two were wearing their karate uniforms (something Konway was known to do when playing his snare drum).

The Sergeant was playing his own drum in order to accompany Feral on his fife, although Feral was playing “Grandfather Clock,” then switching to Garry Owen after four measures of strictly solo drumming from the Sergeant. Dark Kat joined in on the bass drum when he felt was appropriate.

At a later point, when the Sergeant, Dark Kat, and Feral put their instruments away to take a break, Col. Parkinson (the Sergeant’s longtime musical associate that gave the information to the Enforcers to help solve the case of the mysterious sound from Johnny Hemmingway’s machine) arrived on the scene, although in casual wear (a t-shirt, blue jeans, and a belt) instead of his drum major’s uniform.

Because of his voice, the Sergeant knew it was Parkinson. “Ah, Col. Parkinson,” he began. “Nice seeing you again.”

“And you, too,” Parkinson replied. “Glad I found you. I thought I heard your Sergeant drumming. Nice day for that, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. What can we do for you?” Feral asked, all business as usual.

“Some crazy blue hedgehog told me I could find you here. He’s looking for his archenemy, whom he said was planning on taking either you or Mayor Briggs hostage. He may be mistaken, but I can only report what I heard.” (NOTE: After Mayor Manx finally lost the election to what would have been his 12th term, thanks to his wacky law that tried to ban all technology invented after the radio, Callie became the mayor.)

“Thanks for the info nevertheless,” Feral replied. “I may need your help later on. And, by the way, he’s not crazy; he’s Sonic the Hedgehog.”

“Is he really?” Parkinson exclaimed mildly. “No wonder he can’t hold still for three seconds. But, don’t tell him I said that; it may insult him.”

“My lips are sealed,” Feral promised. “Come on, now. Let’s go!” He climbed inside his sedan with the Sergeant by his side and Parkinson in the back. (Felina was on helicopter patrol, so she wasn’t available at the moment.)

“Miss Briggs,” Feral began when he made the call to Callie, “would you tell the SWAT Kats that Sonic the Hedgehog is in hot pursuit of Dr. Eggman, who has plans to take either you or me hostage? I am not certain as to which of us it is, but Col. Parkinson, a musical associate of my Sergeant, just reported the news. I ask because you have the ability to directly contact them, and I do not.”

“Certainly,” Callie replied. “Anything to help. This Dr. Eggman character creeps me out. When is he going to lose any weight?”

“Probably never. He’s too busy scheming to exercise.”

“Okay, thanks for the tip.” Callie hung up the phone before reaching for her communicator.

The SWAT Kats were already putting on their jumpsuits, however, since they caught a glimpse of the police siren lights from Feral’s sedan, indicating he was on a case. Feral didn’t bother to turn the sirens on if he was not in direct pursuit of a cat speeding, a criminal getting away, or going to an accident or fire.

“We figured there was a problem, Miss Briggs,” T-Bone replied after hitting the button. “What can you tell us?”

“Only what Feral told me, which is what Col. Parkinson told him,” Callie replied. “Dr. Eggman is coming to take either Feral or me hostage, but he didn’t specify which one. Could it be a misunderstood case, however? I don’t know. Better to respond to a false alarm you think is true than not respond to a true alarm you think is false.”

“So true, Miss Briggs,” Razor nodded. “Don’t fret. We’ll be right there.”

The dynamic duo ran to their jet, jumped in, started it up, and blasted off into the wide blue yonder.

Sonic, who had been wing walking on the X-Tornado with Shadow and Silver, had been searching for Eggman but having no luck.

“Wonder if it was a false alarm?” he thought aloud.

“If it was, Eggman would be laughing in our face,” Tails replied.

“What stumped me is why he wants Commander Feral or Mayor Briggs as his hostage, and not me, or even Cream and Cheese,” Amy spoke up. “Maybe he wants a change of taste.”

“He doesn’t have a sense of taste,” Silver objected. “He’s just a madman with a total sense of absolute unexplainable randomness.”

“I’d like to get my fists on him!” Knuckles added. “He’s not tricking me ever again!”

Then Tails’ radar beeped. “My scanners have picked up something. I see Eggman, but I also see a police car on the ground.”

Chris took a look. “That’s Commander Feral’s sedan!” he exclaimed. “Eggman wants him!”

Tails managed to quickly change communications over to Feral. “This is Tails, from the X-Tornado,” he reported. “Eggman has decided to take you hostage. He’s on your tail! Watch out!”

“Thanks for the update, Prower,” Feral replied, dropping into his habit of using surnames when addressing others.” He turned to his two passengers. “Hang on, you two,” he warned. “This is going to be a bumpy ride!” He stepped on the accelerator and headed for the safest place possible. At least, it was the safest place he knew. When he pulled up to the alley he had in mind, he stopped his squad car, got out, ordered Parkinson and the Sergeant to do the same, and led them in. “He’ll never find us here,” he said. “He’s too fat to even fit in here.”

Indeed. When Eggman arrived at the scene, he naturally shouted, “Ha! Found you!” When he discovered he couldn’t fit himself or his portable transportation vehicle he was infamous for driving, he freaked out. “What? How can this be?” he screamed. “AAAH! I can’t go in! You get out of there at once or I’ll have to use a force play!”

“This is the law you are talking to!” Feral growled. “You never order them around! You know better than that!”

“Uh, no, he doesn’t,” Sonic suddenly called, jumping off the X-Tornado with Shadow and Silver.

While Sonic and Shadow spun in their trademark spins, Silver used his telekinesis powers to whirl up a storm. Keeping in mind Eggman was trying to fit into a narrow space, Shadow aimed for the bottom of the machine while Sonic aimed for Eggman. The resulting collision (and the wind from Silver’s powers) sent Eggman flying, only to land in a different alley, although landing in one of the trash cans.

Having found the alley, Feral noticed a trash truck driver coming by to collect the trash. “Would you mind as to drag this fatso to Enforcer H.Q. to be recycled for future use?” he asked the driver.

Knowing what he meant, the driver gave a thumbs-up, then used his vehicle’s parts to grab Eggman, pull him up, and dump him with the trash. Feral told him about Felina’s patrol route as well, then radioed for Felina to grab him whenever she was able to return to H.Q. She did so, and next thing Eggman knew, he was in solitary confinement in Enforcer H.Q.

“Doh! Why did I have to end up here?”

The SWAT Kats, meanwhile, were acting as bodyguards when Dicoe and Bocoe arrive to escort Callie to Eggman’s prison. Bokkun used some of his bombs to try and blow up Callie’s office, but all it did was leave black marks all over the walls.

“Those can be washed off,” Callie said to T-Bone. “That’s the least of my worries for the moment.”

Feral arrived in time to intercept the three henchbots as T-Bone and Razor took them out with their Gloveatrixes. He drove them personally to jail and had them placed in different cells so they had no idea where their boss was or how to break him out.

At H.Q., Sonic thanked Parkinson for his help. “I figured if you were a friend of his, and since this is his hometown, you’d be the first to tell him,” he said. “I think you did a great job!”

“Thanks, but I couldn’t have done it without you,” Parkinson replied. “Since I had an off day from my duties as a drum major, what better day to take advantage of such a scenario?”

“If you ever see something like this happen again, let us know, and we’ll be on it like chili on a hot dog,” Sonic smiled. “Speaking of chili dogs, I heard Maximum Mighty Melt is offering 2 for $1. That’s up my alley, but if it’s not up yours, that’s okay.”

“I suppose it’s about that time,” Razor nodded. “Give us a moment to change wardrobes, and we’ll meet you there.”

“Okay,” said Feral, and the groups separated their own ways although to later rejoin at the fast food restaurant.


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