Original SWAT Kats Story

A Night to Relax

By Tom Wilder

  • 1 Chapter
  • 741 Words

All is quiet in MegaKat City, and the good guys finally get a night to kick back and relax. (Oneshot – Complete)

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It was calm. It was a very soothing night in Megakat City. No criminals were at large, none of the nightclubs were open, and as an added rare sight, the mayor was actually doing paperwork for once (although he needed Callie’s expertise on some of it due to it being paying the bills). David Litterbin had taken an off day from his show to get away from the stress, so Jake had let Chance watch Scaredy-Kat. Jake himself had been lying on the couch taking a catnap. Yes, it was a calm night. Perhaps it was too calm. Who knew?

At his dorm in Enforcer HQ, Commander Feral had not been so calm. He was currently watching the TV as well and seeing his favorite roller derby team, the Los Angeles Lightning Cats, beat the heck out of the San Francisco Bombshells. The Lightning Cats were leading by 20 points at the end of seventh period (out of eight).

Felina came in to the dorm to see her uncle applauding his heroes on the banked Masonite track.

“Lightning Cats winning, Uncle?” she asked.

“Yes, by 20 points, Felina,” Feral smiled. “Ah, this is a great night to watch them. No criminal acts, and no problems with the criminals we have. Or are there?”

“Nope,” Felina shook her head. “Dark Kat is anything but chatty tonight. He seems to have accepted the fact you just cannot get around the laws of crime and punishment no matter how hard you try.”

“That’s true,” said Feral. “Oh, here comes the eighth period.”

“There’s eight periods in roller derby? I always forget that.”

“It is true that since each period has 12 minutes in it, you might lose focus just after a while, but I don’t. I am with the Lightning
Cats from soup to nuts.” (1)

“Who are they playing tonight?”

“The San Francisco Bombshells. They are a team I respect for being last year’s champions, but they can’t handle the power of the Lightning Cats tonight. Whoo!” Feral exclaimed just in time to see his hero, Sammy Sanders, a.k.a. the Super Bolt, score a total of five points in the first jam of the eighth period and still attempt to lap the pack again for more points.

(Remember, this is classic roller derby rules from the 1950s and 60s these teams are playing by here, so this is on a banked track, and only the jammers can score and they score one point for every opponent they pass. Passing all five opponents scores five points, but that is as difficult to achieve as hitting a grand slam home run in baseball. Super Bolt was making the difficult look effortless, however.)

Meanwhile, back at the hangar, Jake and Chance felt bored. They enjoyed their chances to relax, but sometimes had a craving for action in fighting the bad guys. And, tonight, it felt that crime was intentionally taking a holiday. Seeing as how late it was, Jake felt ready to go to bed.

Then Chance noticed the radio was unplugged. “Hey, Jake,” he called, motioning over to his best friend. “Here’s the problem.” He plugged in the radio and soon loud rock music was blaring out of the speakers. Chance turned down the volume so that he and his pal wouldn’t go deaf.

“Yeah,” Jake smiled. “That’s what we need to make this boring night entertaining. Hey, you want to play cribbage?”

“You bet, buddy,” Chance nodded. “Haven’t played that in a while. Crime’s taking a vacation tonight, and Scaredy Kat’s finished, so I’m happy to have turned on the radio.”

“No doubt about it. Nothing satisfies a dull, quiet night like rock-and-roll on the radio. I mean, there’s almost nothing worth
watching on television. Besides, more cats in this town listen to the radio than watch TV.” Jake got out the props needed to play cribbage, and they sat down to play.

As for Feral and Felina, both spent the rest of night celebrating the Lightning Cats dropping the bomb on the Bombshells, 56-29.


(1) This phrase means, “from the very beginning to the very end.”

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