Original SWAT Kats Story

True Love in the Strangest Places

By Psyche Alexander

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,394 Words

(Unfinished) Dark Kat has gathered the majority of Megakat City’s villains to destroy it and the SWAT Kats. Strong language warning.

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Author's Notes:

Intro to the characters

Psyche: Hello all you happy campers out there! For those of you who don’t know me I’m Psyche Grace Alexander, real name Grace Ann Abigail Keene. Well, as usual, I want to be different, so I have changed a few things bout the Swat Kats and characters thereof. You’ll read about it down below this text. I’m really perky right now. I’m high off of Prozac right now. WAAAHHHOO!!!

Sorry . AHEM! Here goes nutin! (Note: The names of all the people in here I made up and the relationships also. I heard of the Swat Kats and jotted down some names and relationships before I saw the show. Forgive me )

Xanth: It’s a place where magic pretty much rules. It looks like this. Rough sketch. Really rough and not to scale. Just something to give you an ideal on what it looks like. It lies right next to Northern California. It has a shield around it so no one notices it. Anywho, Xanth is in a square shape of sorts. The purple dots around Megakat City are islands that they own. The yellow stuff is Sphinx Desert. The black stuff is King Trent’s and Sorceress Iris’s castle. The orange stuff is the Xanthian Air Force Academy with a little desert around it. The brown stuff is the Unicorn Mountains. The blue stuff in the green stuff is my house. The light blue stuff in the ocean is Centaur Isle. The pink stuff is Sorceress Calista’s castle, also known as Kat Village ruins. The red stuff is the Isle of Idra. The dark brown stuff is an abandoned isle where a lot of bad stuff happens to good guys. (Nothing sick, unless you consider what Mad Kat did to us.) That’s about it. Who lives here? Just the gods and goddesses of Mt. Olympus (Long story, my web page offers an explanation on it.) and any magical creature you can think of. Enough of land, lets talk about people!

Commander Ulysses Chad Feral: Born: April 29, 1947 History: He was the leader of a gang during his highschool years (1956-1960) called The Panthers. The leader of the rival gang called The Canines stole his girlfriend. He didn’t get her back though. He fell in love with Colleen Diamond Stafford and married her in 1960. His father forced him into joining the Enforcers because as long as there have been the Enforcers, there has been a Feral in the Commander rank. He became Commander in 1984 and his wife left him the same year. She faked her death and he was guilt ridden. He reached Colonel rank in 1998. (More will be explained in my fanfic) Magic Talent(s): He can make himself look younger. Fun Fact: Addicted to Tetris for GameBoy. 

Colleen Stafford: Born: March 15, 1947 History: None really, her mother is Sorceress Iris and her father is Magician Fredrick. That’s about it. Magic Talent(s): She is a Sorceress so she can perform more magic than her talents. Her talents are transporting herself anywhere and transforming other things. Fun Fact: She’s human. Her mother has white hair and her father has black hair. You can see where Felina gets it from. ?

Felina Rica Selene Feral (a.k.a. Selene) Born: December 21, 1970 History: Daughter of Commander Feral. (She is not his niece, like the TV show. This is my version of the Swat Kats. So there.) First female to graduate out of the Enforcer Academy in 1988. Became a Swat Kat in 1989 and dropped out of the team in 1990. Reached Lieutenant grade in 1991. Married Hard Drive in 1998. Magic Talent(s): A Sorceress, like her mother, but stronger magic. Her talents are transforming herself and telepathy. Fun Fact: She used to beat up Steele in high school. The pathetic thing about it is that she was a freshman and he was a senior!

Psyche Alexander (a.k.a. Blaze) Born: August 27, 1825. Transported to the future on November 3, 1970. History: Mother, Hera-human-her father was a centaur-Neggus. She has wings and is a goddess. First female to graduate from the X.A.F. (Xanthian Air Force) academy in 1988. Became a Swat Kat in 1989 but dropped out in 1990 to pursue an acting career. Reached Major grade in 1994. Was arrested in 1994 for stealing 4 F-18’s from the X.A.F. She ran away to Megakat City to escape the criminal charges. Became a Swat Kat again in 1994. Stayed a Swat Kat until she was whisked away to the past. (More about this in my fanfic.) Magic Talent(s): She can talk to any animal she wants to and she has sex appeal. Meaning she can magically make herself attracted to men. Fun Fact: Her sex appeal magic goes off on its own when she sees a guy she thinks is cute.

Jake Clawson (a.k.a. Razor) Born: August 28, 1970 History: Graduated from the Enforcer Academy in 1988. Reached Master Sergeant grade in 1989 then was thrown off of the force. Became a Swat Kat the same year. Hooked up with Psyche in 1994. Magic Talent(s): Can hit any target he sets his eyes on. Fun Fact: His younger brother is David Clawson, but we all know him as Hard Drive. Also, the leader of the Canines, it was Jake’s Uncle, his dad’s older brother.

Chance Peter Furlong (a.k.a. T-Bone) Born: August 29, 1970 History: Gargoyle ancestry. Graduated from the Enforcer Academy in 1988. Reached Master Sergeant grade in 1989 then was thrown off of the force. Became a Swat Kat the same year. Hooked up with Calico Briggs in 1998. Magic Talent(s): Can conjure up the elements at his will and can make his voice sound like anybody he wants to. Fun Fact: Because of his talent, he always carries a copy of the Periodic table with him. Crack head.

Calico Briggs: Born: August 30, 1970 History: Graduated from Xanth College with a degree in politics in 1990. Became Deputy Mayor the same year. Magic Talent(s): Can create a force field around her to protect her from dangers. Fun Fact: Talk about irony, she found out she had that talent AFTER the villains of Megakat city were captured! And yes, she is a Sorceress, like her ancestor.

That’s all folks!

Dark Kat has gathered the majority of Megakat City’s villains to destroy it and the SWAT Kats. The SWAT Kats stop him but Blaze is hurt by Dr. Viper. While she’s in the hospital, the conflict brings out some answers, feelings between two SWAT Kats, and a small history behind Feral’s grouchiness. Rated R for language.

True Love in the Strangest Places

Psyche Alexander was sitting on her couch watching the Packers against the Cowboys with her sister’s boyfriend, Hermes. He had nine hundred dollars in his hand, ready to bet on anything: the next time-out, touchdown, foul, or blitz. “Come on, come on,” he said, rooting for the Packers. “Just one teeny-tinny miracle!” But it wouldn’t come. Just two minutes after he said that, the Cowboys scored, blowing away the Defense. “HOLY SHIT! How can tha- I mean, I- Aww, come on guys! I just lost $900! Damn!”

Psyche snatched the bill out of his hands, “Ah, quit yer bitchin’. I won. You lost. Fair enough for me,” She inhaled its tantalizing scent. “This is going straight towards the debt the SWAT Kats owe Megakat City.”

“Hah!”

“What?” she gave him her classic ‘What the hell’s your problem?’ look.

“I think you can probably pay that off in the next hundred years!”

“Ah, stick it up your ass and vike it.” He didn’t have time to. The phone rang in the kitchen.

“I’ll get it.” Psyche said.

“Not if I can help it!” Hermes said, bolting up from the couch and running after her.

She looked back, “Oh no you don’t!” They ran into the kitchen on a corner, but by this time they were a full speed. Psyche took the turn without slowing down. She skid right into the fridge. Hermes had his winged shoes on and graced it with ease.

“Serves you right.” He taunted after her. He picked up the phone just as Psyche was picking her head up, groggily. “Hello.” Pause. “Oh yeah. Ok, sir.”

“Who is it?” Psyche asked in a slightly slurred speech.

“Just a sec.” He put his hand over the mouthpiece. “It’s for you.”

She got up. “‘WHO is it’ not ‘Who is it FOR’.”

“It’s Commander Feral.”

“Ah shit.” She snatched the phone from his hands. “I ain’t in the mood to talk to his fucked up ass. I mean for all I care he can go to HELLO Commander! What’s up?” Her voice did an instant mood swing when she talked into the phone. “I’m fine thank you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.” A long pause before “WHAT?! That’s impossible How could they- Oh. I see.” Pause “ETA 45 minutes.” Hermes didn’t hear what the Commander said, but it was horrible enough to turn her a pale white and make Psyche start shaking. “Yeah. Ok. We’ll be there, sir. You too,” she whispered. Psyche hung up the phone.

“What did he say?”

Psyche turned around slowly to face him: still shaking, still whispering. “He said that Dark Kat and all the other villains of Megakat City have joined together and are rampaging through the city. He’s already lost 200 of his men.”

“God damn. Well, he wants us there in 45 minutes?”

“Yeah,” she had stopped shaking, “Sooner if possible.”

“Why sooner?”

“He said that Megakat City might not be there in 45 minuets.”

************************************

The Swat Kats’ jet roared over head of the Enforcer building. Feral looked up from his helicopter’s panel. For once, he was glad to see those two. Looking up was a bad idea. His head started throbbing in pain. He gripped his head in his hands. His niece had just got out of the hospital and his head hurt from worrying about her.

“Commander, sir, you ok to fly?” Steele said from the jet to the right of him.

“I hate to sound like an inconsiderate uncle, but how can I think of her at a time like this?”

“Cause you love her too much,” Steele said, “and fifty bucks says in 2 seconds, she’ll be flying next to you.”

Feral smiled. Steele was right. If anything, Felina was already ripping off her bandages and strapping on her-

BAM! “Woah! What the heck was that?!” Steele screamed. Feral looked over his shoulder to see the Metalikats in an Enforcer jet, ramming into the side of Steele’s jet.

“Steele! Pull out!”

“I can’t sir!” BAM! Another hit.

“Bullshit! Head back to Headquarters!”

“Yes, sir.” Feral watched Steele slowly fly away, followed by the Metalikats.

Just then the TurboKat interrupted his view.

“Hey Feral, you still need that prune doughnut?” Razor joked over the radio.

“I would laugh Jake, but not right now. In all seriousness, we are so screwed.”

Razor’s eyes widened. “Jake? He called me Jake?” He thought.

“You get Dark Kat, Dr. Viper, and the Metallikats and leave the rest to us.”

Feral ordered them.

“No problemo, Lys.” T-Bone said, “You get the easy guys.”

“Your weapons are more advanced than ours. And don’t call me Lys,” Feral yelled as he flew off.

“He called me Jake,” Razor whispered to T-Bone. He didn’t hear him.

“Hey, guys. Did you miss me?” a female’s voice said over the Swat Kats band.

“Blaze! Where the hell have you been?” T-Bone answered her.

“Oh here and there. I was listening in. Who do you want me to handle?” Razor looked to the side of the Turbo Kat, still dazed. Blaze had a jet that was a smaller version of the TurboKat and that black hunk of metal was right next to them.

“Dr. Viper. He seems pretty easy for you.”

“Ha ha. Where is he? Nevermind, I’ll ask Felina.”

Razor came out of his coma “Felina? Isn’t she in the hospital?”

“Not anymore, crackhead!” Felina cried.

“See what I tell you?” Blaze rubbed in.

“Felina! Good to see you not in stitches! Did my little brother treat you well?”

Razor asked in a mushied up voice.

“Hard Drive was nice to me. Don’t worry. Blaze, Dr. Viper is in Golden Wall

Park, the area near the river.”

“Thanks! Smell yah later!” She took off at full speed, leaving a black cloud smoke behind her.

Razor looked up, “If you’re watching God, look after her for me please.” Felina saw the worry on her friend’s face, “Don’t worry. Blaze will stay out of trouble.” That reassured both Swat Kats, Razor in particular. Felina also looked up, “I hope. God please let her stay out of trouble.”

++++++++++++++++++++

Blaze flew her jet to Golden Wall Park. Dr. Viper was there all right. He already mutated ¾ of the trees in the park. Some tangle trees he controlled and willo’ the wisps. Their branches were flying everywhere trying to stop Blaze.

“God, he is a fucking sicko,” Blaze thought. She tried to set her jet down but couldn’t find a clean spot within a mile radius. An idea hit her. She concentrated real hard on her Delorian. Her telepathy lessons from Felina paid off. She travelled from Megakat City to her house, almost 50 miles. Finally, she entered the car.

“MIKE!” She screamed into the car’s mind.

“YEOW!! Jesus H. Christ, what was that for?!”

“Can you get Artemis for me?” she asked sweetly.

“Bitch. Sure I can. Hold.” He cut off the connection to her mind. Blaze shook her mind clear of the conversation. She was starting to think that putting a human into a car wasn’t such a good idea now.

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