Original SWAT Kats Story

unHIP

By Nick Ball & Tom Murtagh

  • 1 Chapter
  • 5,028 Words

(Unfinished) The SWAT Kats, along with a new ally, attempt to defeat (or at least get away from) a blood sucking boulder.

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Author's Notes:

“unHIP” Part One
(Kats in Black)
by Nicholas “Nicko” Ball and Thomas “Tommo-tommo-tommo-tomarini” Murtagh

Suggested Rating: Title – G – suitable for all audiencesIntroduction – PG, due to adult conceptsCompetition Information – G – suitable for all audiencesDedication – unrated at this time of eventSection 1 – NC-17 due to references to nudity, and bad wordsSection 2 – PG, contains references to violenceSection 3 – yet to be classifiedSection 4 – M, for people above the age of 15 onlySection 5 – Here’s my rating! Blam! Blam! Blam!Section 6 – Tom wrote this section

Ask himSection 7 – This section never existed – got it??!Epilogue – Tom says it should be ‘S’, but I think it’s ‘T’Introduction:Hello everybody, it is I, Nicholas Ball and he, Tom Murtagh here again

Asyou know, much has happened lately, and we’ve been very busy (for one thing,Nick’s been made President of the Official SWAT Kats Fan Club (AustralianEdition), while Tom’s appointed himself Vice-President and Head of Armoury. Nick’s also taken up the nickname of ‘Nicko’ (I encourage you to use itfreely, as my multitude of friends all do -Nicko), but we’ve still managedto work this fantastic new series out

In fact, it’s more than a series,it’s an epic – feel free to add on at any stage! (Though we do reserve theright to write a small paragraph at the start of the next section, removingall plot points raised by yourself

You play by our rules, since we’re theoverlords) We have a few things to recommend to you before you start readingthe actual story

Here they are. Things you MUST watch:All of these “4th Doctor” Dr Who episodes-RobotThe Ark In SpaceThe Sontaran ExperimentGenesis Of The Dalek – this one’s really excitingRevenge Of The CybermenTerror Of The ZygonsPlanet Of EvilPyramids Of MarsThe Android Invasion – if you watch closely, you can see cleavageThe Brain Of MorbeusThe Seeds Of DoomThe Masque of MandragonThe Hand Of FearThe Deadly AssassinThe Face Of EvilThe Robots Of DeathThe Talons Of Weng-Chiang – extra scaryThe Horror Of Fang RockThe Invisible EnemyImage Of The FendahlThe SunmakersUnderworld – watch this one again once you’ve seen “Meglos”The Invasion Of TimeThe Ribos OperationThe Pirate PlanetThe Stones Of Blood – don’t miss this one!The Androids Of TaraThe Power Of KrollThe Armageddon FactorThe Destiny Of The DaleksCity Of DeathThe Creature From The PitThe Nightmare Of Eden – maybe read the Bible too -?The Horror Of NimonThe Leisure HiveMeglosFull CircleState Of DecayWarriors’ GateThe Keeper Of TrakenLogopolis – like a city full of logs!!!!!!Watch Star Trek: First Contact if you want to get the ‘Borg’ joke, andwatch Tron too, while you’re at it. Read the following materials:The Beginners’ Guide To Magic: The GatheringThe Player’s Guide To Magic: The GatheringThe Experts’ Guide To Magic: The GatheringJaws by Peter BenchleyAll the Agatha Christie novelsAny novel set in the future (eg Bladerunner 2) or written byPhilip K

DickAnd it would help if you visited these sites, too:www. drwho. comwww. startrek. comwww. trekkie. comwww. xena. comwww. drwho. co. ukwww. lostinspace. comwww. w3c. orgwww. greenpeace. orgwww. microsoft. com/iewww. pih. org/fanclubwww. geocities. com/southbeach/9767Competition:We’ve started each individual chapter/section with part of the theme songto a certain cartoon show

If you can identify the show, write it downnext to the section, and be picked by us, one of us* will mention YOUR NAMEat some stage in day to day conversation (max

5 syllables)

Get to it!* note: we get to choose which of us will mention your name. Another Note:We’re Australian, and some jokes may not make any sense to you, due tothe huge cultural barrier

Here’s an example:Q

Why do cars speed up when they see Dr Viper crossing the road?A

Because he’s so GREEN, he looks like a traffic light!Initially, you may think that the answer is “Because Dr Viper’s a villain,and no one likes him so they try to run him over!”, which it can be also. This is why this joke is so clever – because it works on TWO levels

Yousee, down here in Australia, we have these things called ‘traffic lights’,which control the flow of traffic, and when the traffic light goes GREEN(well, it doesn’t actually GO green, but a green light on it lights up)then the traffic is allowed to go and proceed

Of course, the joke shouldbe worded “Why do cars go and proceed when they see Dr Viper crossing theroad?”, since traffic lights don’t regulate actual speeds, but it’s stillvery funny, nonetheless, as you have noted

Other Australian colloquialismshave been placed in this story, but we’re pretty sure you’ll get thehang of it

If not, just send us a friendly email asking us what a particularphrase or word meant, and we’ll set you on the straight and narrow again. Dedication:This story is dedicated to the one who inspired us through his creativegenius to tackle the problems associated with starting a series

Hisradiance and brilliance makes him truly a beacon unto others. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Chapter One – The Bridge Ending Nothingness Connects All%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%”Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,Heroes in a half-shell, turtle power!”—The TARDIS materialized and Adric stepped out

He looked around thebusy inner city life that was MegaKat City

The Doctor was standingbehind him, and said-

“Okay, Adric, you go and make your measurements that you requireto keep doing your mathematical equations

But remember, if there’strouble, I may have to leave temporarily

But don’t worry,” the Doctorcontinued with a smile, a hearty laugh and a pat on the back

“I won’tbe TOO long!”

“Oh, Doctor! You ALWAYS say that, and then you take quite a bitof time!” Adric said, waggling his head, which was not covered by any clothingas he was not Semitic or a member of any religion that requires its membersto wear anything on their head, and grinning back

“Yes, I do, don’t I?”

“Yes!” Adric said, and walked off down a street

It was about 10o’clock am, according to the Doctor’s time devices

That was a good thingabout knowing a Time Lord, you could always rely on him (or her) forknowing the right time

Of course, knowing the right year was an entirelydiferent thing!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Chapter Two – ROCK and roll!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^”Astroboy, Astroboy,he is brave and gentle and wise”—The big rock slid up the street, hitting all the kats it could find, andonce it killed them , it drank all of their blood

“Help! There’s a big rock sliding up the street! IT’S killinginnocent kats and drinking all of their blood!” someone yelled downthe phone at Commander Feral

“Hah

A likely story” Feral said and hung the phone up

Adricwas taking measurements in Manx street and he heard a terrible grindingsound, followed by screams, so he put his compass down and went toinvestigate

He cautiously looked around the corner and saw that therewas a big rock sliding up the street

It swerved and moved somehow,hitting all the kats it could find, and it killed them, before pausingto drink their blood. (A similar thing happened in ‘The Stones of Blood’ – the third in thepopular Dr Who series entitled ‘The Key Of Time’, which you should havewatched by now

We weren’t sure in the series as to whether the rocksactually drank the blood – when they killed that camper he was sort ofbleeding on a ledge of the rock, and they are the Stones of Blood,so I suppose they take the blood in somehow, but it might be somethinglike osmosis, so here we’ve just made it so they drink the blood

Theserocks look a bit like those square ones at Stonehedge, but we’ve madethe decision to make them a little smaller so that they can fitthrough doorways). Adric turned around to hear a high pitched scream

“Help! SWAT Kats!”Adric ran down the passageway behind the alley and into Miss Brigg’soffice, where the shekat stood on a desk, swatting at a large rock witha folder

“TAKE THIS YOU FUCKER!!!!!!!” Adric yelled, taking out hisbazooka-protractor. (Note: Adric didn’t have this weapon in the series, but we figuredthat he’d need something in case something like this happened

It’sabout 5 inches long, and houses 12 missiles, each of which can blowup a car or a house

To see something like this happen, watch ‘PlanetOf Evil’ or ‘Logopolis’)He pulled the trigger and a missile shot out and blew the rock into smalltiny little pieces that rained down everywhere

“Oh thank you thank you thank you!” Miss Briggs said, throwingher arms around him, hardly noticing that he wasn’t a kat

“You’re a kat!” Adric said, “This whole city is full of kats!”

“Yes, we’re all kats

Where are you from?” Miss Briggs asked

“I’m from the planet Earth! I came here with the Doctor!”and Adric ran out, because he remembered what the Doctor said aboutleaving if there was a hint of trouble

Adric ran all the way back towhere the Tardis initially was, but all there was now was a blank space,and a small hand written note, held there, ironically, by a small pieceof metal

It read:

“Adric – Had to go, will be back soon, The Doctor”Just then Adric heard more yells from another back alley

He ran alongand saw two kats in red and blue (and black) G-suits trying to fendoff attacks by two deadly sedimentaries

“T-Bone! Our glovatrixes are useless against these rocks!”

“I know, Sureshot! And there’s nothing we can do about it!”

“COME ON!!! RUN!!!!!!!!” Adric yelled, grabbing both kats by thearm and pulling them to safety

Then he took out some Pi Charge andblew the rocks to rock hell. (Pi Charge is a special kind of plastic explosive we made up for Adricto use

We based it on the movie ‘The Five Doctors’, and in particular,the chessboard puzzle

Remember? As the Master said, the answer onhow to solve it was ‘easy as pi’, and turned out to be the mathematicalnumber ‘pi’)However, Adric saw that the rocks had killed all the following kats whilsthe was away:Ann Gora (who went to get a ‘scoop’, as she says)Mayor ManxCommander FeralLieutenant FeralDr ViperDark KatAll his Kreeplings (except four)The MetallikatsDr ViperHard DriveThat crystal guyDr GreenboxDr ViperDr SinianThat security guard in ‘The Dark Side Of The SWAT Kats’Smitty, Ann Gora’s cameraman, caught on film some footage of the rocksdestroying a synagogue and ran away

“My God! Those rocks have killed all these innocent kats!”T-Bone yelled

“And it looks like they’ve drunk their blood, too!” Razoryelled also

“They’re the Stones Of Blood! They drink blood to survive!And they’re at the top of that hill!” Adric said, before firing 5missiles off at the base of the top of the hill, causing it to breakaway, and all the rocks to roll down the hill where they smashed themselvesinto small pieces at the bottom

“ROCK AND ROLL!!!!” Adric yelled, and ran down a sidestreet,with the SWAT kats following him. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Section Three – Fast&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&”He’s the boss, he’s the king,but above everything,he’s the most tip-top – Top Cat”—

“Are you a Moslem?!” asked Adric, speaking to T-bone, while heran down a sidestreet, pursued by the blood-drinking stones. T-bone stopped temporarily and answered

Unfortunately the sound of therolling stones drowned out the reply

“I can’t get no-o

sa-tis-fac-tio-on,

I can’t get no-o

sa-tis-fac-tion,

Well I try,

And I try,

And I try,

And I try,

But I can’t get no

(der ner ner ner ner)

I can’t get no,

No no no!”Razor turned off the television that was playing the video clip for thesong by the Rolling Stones and said, “Oh no! We have enough trouble withrolling stones without Mick Jagger singing!” and guffawed brightly,because the rolling stones behind them were also old and were suspectedto drink people’s blood. Both Adric and T-bone also laughed

“Hey, that gives me an idea!” said Adric, taking his calculatorand a slide-rule, so that he could check the answer

“If my calculationsare correct, we should be near a lighthouse!”Razor and T-bone looked at each other in amazement

“That’s right! TheMegakat Lighthouse!”

“See, we can go inside and hide, and if we get high enough, thestones won’t be able to find us!” Adric said

“That’s a great idea!” said the two SWAT Kats together,realized that they had spoken in unison, and laughed

“But how did youget the idea?”Adric smiled

“It was when I heard the ‘Rolling Stones’! They are oldrockers from way back, and so is Jimi Hendrix!”Razor nodded, understanding

“So you thought of HIS song, ‘All alongthe Watchtower’ and thought of the lighthouse, because that’s a sortof tower!”Nodding with a callypygian smile, Adric and the Kats ran into MegakatLighthouse, pursued by the rolling stones, but not Keith Richardsbecause he had a bladder infection and a bad case of GALL STONES!But some of the murderous stones obviously had a fair bit of gallbecause they started to come up the stairs!

“What’s going on here?” said the salty old sea-kat whomaintained the lighthouse, to the three heroes

“Look out, old man – er, kat!!” said Adric, pushing past him. The lighthouse keeper refused their help and struggled up the stairsby himself, but was crushed by the rocks, and had his blood drunkenby them too, probably. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Section Four – How to make an American Kilt))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))”The Simpsons!Do do do do do do dodo dododo doodo do do do doododododo!”—They continued running along the street chased by the stones

“I have an idea!” said Adric, addressing the two kats

“Thisreminds me of something that I once experienced in Ancient Scotland!”

“Ancient Scotland?!” gasped the kats in bemused angst

“Youmean that you have some method of time-travel that allows you to travelthrough the relative dimensions in time and space?” (This is ironic becausethe Doctor has a time-travel machine that is called a TARDIS which standsfor “Time And Relative Dimensions In Space” except that the SWAT Katsdon’t know that, but they got most of the words that make up the TARDIS’sname right!!)

“Yes!” said Adric, amused at the irony

“So you’ve been to Ancient Scotland! What did you experiencethere?” said T-Bone

“There are these huge stones in my world in Scotland that areassembled in a sort of henge, and we call them ‘Stone-Henge’! Thesestones look exactly like them!” said Adric, licking his lips

“I get it!” shouted Razor eagerly

“We’ll go into a kilt shopand buy some kilts! That way we can fool the rocks into thinking thatwe’re Scottish, so that way they won’t be able to cross the tenthparallel and destroy the city!”

“Exactly!” shouted T-bone and Adric together, then laughedbecause they had shouted together. They came up to the kilt shop which was just around the corner, andclimbed over the cars that were outside the kilt shop, and went intothe kilt shop, which was called ‘The Three-Leafed Clover Kilt Shop’

“Hey you, old man!” shouted Adric eagerly at the old kat whowas attending the shop

“Er, I mean, hey you old kat!!”The old kat looked up and introduced himself

“My name is WhiskeyMcHaggis! Why have you come into my kilt shop?”

“We have come to buy some kilts!” yelled Adric heatedly. “Where are they!”The old man gestured around the shop

“These hundreds of kilts areall that I have

But you are not allowed to buy any!” He turnedand busied himself behind the counter

“SCREW YOU OLD MAN! BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!” Adric proclaimeduncompromisingly, and fired his bazooka protractor six times, once for eachtime that he had used the word ‘blam’

“Is anyone going to complain aboutme spilling OLD SCOTCH everywhere!”Razor laughed

“Yeah! That was a WELL-MATURED WHISKEY!”T-bone also laughed at the puns on Whiskey McHaggis’s name and nationality. “Yes, it was unfortunate that he had to be KILT! I suppose that now we’ll getoff SCOT-FREE!”The three fearsome heroes wandered around the kilt shop and chose the mostalluring kilts, but swiftly so that the stones wouldn’t get them

Razorchuckled

“It’s lucky that Felina and Callie aren’t here, watching us TRYINGON SKIRTS!”

“Yes, it IS lucky they’re dead! Ahahaha!” laughed T-Bone

“I think that these kilts are very nice!” said Adric

“If I werereally Scottish, I might set up my own CELTIC KILT CULT!”

“Hey, I have an idea Razor -” said T-bone

“Why don’t we change ournames to the SCOT KATS!”

“Yes!” said Razor, picking up a roll of sticky-tape

“Then we couldbe the SCOTCH GUARD of the city!”

“Hey you two!” said Adric, picking up a piece of chalk and drawinga grid pattern on the floor

“Anyone for a game of HOP-SCOTCH!”

“That’s funny!” said T-bone, as they ran out onto the street wearingthe kilts

“Because we have this game that we play in this world called’Hop-scotch’!”

“So do we!” laughed Adric

“Hey, knock it off you two!” said T-bone

“Hand me that BEAM of woodlying over there!”T-bone picked up the BEAM, which he had to lift UP

“I guess I just ‘BEAMEDYOU UP, SCOTTIE’!”

“Okay! Quick, run with me to higher land, so then I can fling thispiece of wood at the boulders!” They ran with the boulders still behindthem, up a hill and got to the top of the hill, which was pretty high. Then Adric saw that there was a man with a sword in a trenchcoat (the man wasin the trenchcoat, not the sword) who was standing on the highland

He said,”I am Highlander! there can only be one” so Adric cut his head off and rolledthe body down the hill and it knocked some stones over that were coming upthe hill. “Great! Now it’s time for me to do the ‘Highland Fling’!” and he FLUNGthe beam from the HIGH LAND at the rocks

It got closer and closer andcloser … @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Section Five – Picnic at Hanging Rock@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@”Darkwing Duck!When you’re in trouble, just call D. W. Darkwing Duck!Let’s get dangerous. “—

“Quick! Open the elevator doors!” Adric yelled, and steppedback as T-Bone and Chance did so, to take out his Pi Charge calculatorand destroy the lift inside, leaving the cable to dangle, limply,flimsily, flaccidly, flocculently, medullary, spongy, oedemateously,argillaceous and limber

The SWAT Kats ran off somewhere whilstAdric leapt into the shaft and swung on the end of the cable, and thedoors closed, temporarily sealing him in

Then a Stone Of Blood came along and pushed the lift button. (In the show, the Stones Of Blood could climb stairs, and didn’t use anylifts, but I decided that one of them uses the lift here so Adric can swingout and put the rope around it’s neck, before hanging it

Rocks probablywould get tired climbing all those stairs

Probably

I know I would. But I’m not a rock. )

The doors opened and Adric swung out on the cable

He wrappedhis legs around the rock’s torso, and put the noose he created atthe end of the cable around it’s top, before leaning back, andpulling the mighy mass into the shaft

It hung there, dead

“FUCK YOU, ROCK!!!!” Adric yelled, triumphant

“My God, you’ve broken it’s neck!” Razor said, watching the deadrock swing there like a large pendulum, as both authors ran in

One jumpedup and down excitedly by the elevator shaft whilst the other bargained forattention near the Coke machine

“Pick me! Pick me!” they both yelled

“Which one should I pick?!” Adric asked

“Pick Nick at Hanging Rock” T-bone advised. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Section Six – The Man With the Golden Nun~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~”Flintstones,Meet the Flintstones,They’re a modern Stone-Age family!”

“Wow, that was a lucky break!” yelled Adric at the top of his voice,having turned the corner to escape the blast

“I thought we were a gonnerwhen that stone exploded!”Razor checked his equipment, and then nodded surreptitiously

“Yes, it’s agood thing the helicopter came along, or we would have been MINCED MEAT!!”They all laughed

“Let’s celebrate!” suggested Adric, smiling and laughing. “Is there a place where we can get some warm beer!”T-bone laughed

“How about we have an Inaugural meeting of the OfficialSWAT Kats Fan Club Fanatical Squadron?”Razor giggled

“That’s a good idea! You get our stuff together, and we’llmeet you there in five minutes, Adric!”Five minutes later, everything was going to plan, and everyone includingCommander Feral was there, who had just given blood

(That is, everyonewas there, and Commander Feral had just given blood – not everyone hadgiven blood. ) But there was a problem – they had noone to be the Masterof Ceremonies!

“Oh no!” yelled Razor

“We have nobody to be our Master ofCeremonies!” He looked at T-bone

“Neither of US can be the M. C. !”

“You’re right!” said T-bone

“That wouldn’t be right at all

Weneed somebody who isn’t a member, otherwise it wouldn’t be right. ” Butthe only person in the room who wasn’t a member of the OSWATKFCFS wasAdric!!Razor went up to Adric

“Hey Adric!” he said to Adric

“How would youlike to be the Master of Ceremonies for our Fan Club?”Adric looked at him in amazement

“You want ME to M. C

your Fan Club!Why should I M. C. !”The SWAT Kats looked at each other

“Why M. C. , eh?” said Razor

“Why M. C

eh?” said T-bone. Up came Commander Feral

“Young man! There’s no need to feel down. “Adric looked up

Feral continued

“I said, young man, because you’rein a new town. ” Adric looked away

“I SAID, YOUNG MAN, PICK YOURSELFOFF THE GROUND! There’s no need to be unhappy!”Razor and T-bone looked at each other and began singing

“Young man, there’s a place you can go,

I said, young man, when you’re short on your dough,

You can stay there, and I’m sure you’ll be fine,

There’s many ways, to, have, a good time. “The whole fanclub banded around Adric, and everybody sung

“It’s fun to stay at the ‘Why M. C. , eh?’

It’s fun to stay at the ‘Why M. C. , eh?’

You can have a good bath,

You can have a nice meal,

You can do whatever you feel!”

“Young man, there’s no need to feel down,

I said, young man, because you’re in a new town,

I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground!

There’s no need to be unhappy!”

“It’s fun to stay at the ‘Why M. C. , eh?’

It’s fun to stay at the ‘Why M. C. , eh?’

You can have a good bath,

You can have a nice meal,

You can do whatever you feel!”A construction worker wandered in off the street

“Is this where I’msupposed to build the GIANT WOODEN HORSE?”Adric grinned from ear to ear

“No, that’s next door! But you can stayhere and sing with us!”A policeman walked into the building

“The Indian Chief across thestreet told me to warn you to keep the noise down

How about if I gethim and his village-people friends to come across and we all join inyou in a nice singalong!”Adric laughed out loud

“What a great idea!”When all the Village People had gathered, they all got together withthe Fan Club and Adric and they sung:

Young man! There’s no need to feel down!

I said, young man, because you’re in a new town!

I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground!

There’s no need to be unhappy!

Young man! There’s a place you can go!

I said, young man, when you’re short on your dough!

You can stay there, and I’m sure you’ll be fine,

There’s many ways to have a good time!

It’s fun to stay at the YMCA!

It’s fun to stay at the YMCA!

You can have a good bath,

You can have a nice meal!

You can do whatever you feel!And they continued singing until the early hours of the morning. #############################Section 7 – Ubercraft Granite#############################”Da da da da, Inspector Gadget,da da da da da da da, doo doo”—-(Author’s Note: Most of the rocks are dead now

But I saw ‘The Hunt ForRed October’ the other night on TV, and I figured on a submarine battleat the end of this part of the series, a sort of grande finale to startit all off with, so to speak

The bad submarine, that’s probably propertyof a synangogue or some evil rabbi’s, is being manned by the badrocks and that guy who.. anyway, more on him later

Back to the story)

“Dive!” Adric commanded, and they pushed the button that madethe submarine dive

“Battle stations!” T-Bone yelled, as he ran from the aft to thestern, “Push the button that fires the torpedo’s!”

Some torpedos came out of the good submarine, and hit the badsubmarine. (Note: I was planning a clever pun on the Beatles’ song “We All LiveIn A Yellow Submarine” by having T-bone and all them on a yellowsubmarine, and they were going to sing the song and all that, butI couldn’t think of a way to work it in

Maybe something will beready when we have the next submarine fight

Sorry)All this water was rushing in the holes in the bad submarine, and therocks were slowly starting to drown, as was the guy who pushedin front of one of the authors in the baker’s down the road and BOUGHT THE LAST FUCKINGSTEAK AND MUSHROOM PIE!!! AND WHAT DOES NICK HAVE TO HAVE, BECAUSE THISPERSON EITHER A) WAS TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHAT A LINE WAS, HOW TORECOGNISE ONE AND WAIT OR B) WAS TOO SNOBBY TO ACTUALLY TAKE A PLACEBEHIND NICHOLAS, OH NO, WE DON’T WANT THAT, CAN’T HAVE SOMEONE BEFAIR? NICK HAD TO HAVE A FRIGGING STEAK AND ONION PIE!!! It was stillpretty nice, though… Anyway, that guy drowned with all the other rocks, as well as some Hindu’swho were probably worshiping something in the engine room seeing as theirreligion wasn’t as good as my one

“Yeah, we sure got them, didn’t we, T-Bone?” Razor said

“Yeah, we sure got the bastards, didn’t we?!” Adric said

“Yeah” said Razor, as the TARDIS materialised, and T-Bone andRazor and Adric all got in and time travelled away…. ********Epilogue********”It’s time for Animaniacs, and we’re zany to the max,so just sit down and relax, you’ll laugh till you collapse,we’re Animaniacs!”—The rocks all sat there on the floor of the ocean

Waiting… —And so we come to the end of Part One (Kats In Black) of our fabulousnew series – ‘unHIP’

Stay tuned for upcoming parts of the serial,featuring more action and adrenalin rushes than you’d find in mostof the other crap stories on the archive

If you liked this story,and want to join our cult status by writing a section yourself, thenyou’re more than welcome (although you probably won’t be as good as us),but don’t let that stop you trying.

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