Original SWAT Kats Story

SWAT Kats: The Gathering

By Nick Ball, Jade F. Callan & Professor Isaac Hackle

  • 7 Chapters
  • 25,684 Words

These are all “Magic : The Gathering” crossovers

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Author's Notes:

Notes, Opening Messages, and the like:

WOW! It’s hard to believe that the series finally got to the end. Writing most of it yourself can do that, too. I can remember pitching the idea to the listserv and the like, and thanks to the three of you who said you’re write for the series. There is one part left in the series, and it will be written (I hope) by Anne Packrat.

To read this part, read “Planet of the Cheetah People” except for the end of chapter 36 and all of chapter 38. There have been a couple of other changes for what I want to do in this story:

-For this story, Jake had a MUCH larger part of the plan to destroy the daleks, and they want revenge -Jake didn’t un-regenerate (that’s chapters 36&38)[that’s for this entire series] -Jake and some Pumadyne people made an un-dalek-gun weapon that revived kats killed by the daleks. They only managed to revive Callie, Feral, and Manx before the weapon and it’s plans were destroyed somehow

You should have also been reading the rest of this series…but parts 5 and 6 are the most recent (duh) and lead up to the wedding, in this part

Entries for the ‘be a character’ contest must be in by the time my next story “Barry Gordon Gets a Vocal Cyst” hits the archive. I’ll be releasing a version with the answers in it on that date for those of you who are curious but still don’t know. Good luck to all who enter!

More on the upcoming “I of the Storm” series and other future projects are at the end, please read it.

This story is dedicated to:

Jade, Nick, and Anne: Thanx for writing parts of this series. You have relieved a great workload from me, and I hope to work with you all on another project.

Wizards of the Coast for creating M:TG

DJ for being like the secret police and pulling anything that’s not exactly religiously accurate or if I do anything bad to Abi, and you don’t want to try to do this, folks. She’ll catch you

[ARCHIVE HOST NOTE : This is not true. PI Hackle’s propoganda is really getting out of control. <g>]

Terry Nation for creating the daleks

Everyone on the SwatKats RPG for influences

And last but certainly not least, to Robert Holmes for being such a good example for how to write discontinuity

Finally, we can begin!

Chapter 7

SwatKats: The Gathering: #7 by Ace

——- Chapter One ——–

The ship was near a certain planet. There was a picture of a kat on a monitor.




The ship began to enter orbit of the kat planet, when Feral picked it up on RADAR while entering the atmosphere.

“This is Feral. Get some choppers up by that thing and find out what the heck it is!”

Moments Later…

Five Enforcer choppers were heading out towards the approaching metal beast. A voice entered their radio headsets.

“This is Feral. Get closer.”

“Sir, do you think that’s wise?”

“I said get closer, and that’s an order.”


The helicopter went closer to the spaceship, which was preparing to land. The chopper pilot maneuvered in closer to the ship when he crashed. A ray had come out from the landing craft, hitting the pilot and the ship aimed and fired at most of the chopper and were hitting their marks. Enforcers were dropping like flies.

“This is Feral! Bring me Chopper Backup!”

By the time the backup arrived, the spaceship landed. Enforcer tanks were surrounding it, with orders to fire defensively. The pod opened a door, and its contents started filing out.

×SHIT!× was going through Feral’s mind at that time: He lost some of his best enforcers the last time those metallic maelstroms were in MegaKat City, and this time, he was taking no chances. “This is Feral! Get me everything we can throw at this thing!”

“Sir, Pumadyne can’t just release its projects. You have to go through layers of beaurocratic crap before you can even apply!”

“I don’t care what you do to get it, just do!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Private, get me the mayor’s office.”

“Yes, sir.”

×RING× “Mayor’s office. Deputy Mayor Briggs here.”

“Ms. Briggs, this is Commander Feral.”

“Yes commander, what can I do for you?”

“I have one word for you, deputy Mayor.”

“What’s that?”


Horror flashed through Callie’s head, recalling the horror that had occurred during the first dalek invasion: countless innocents dead, as well as those of higher up post in the city, including herself. It was a very good thing Razor had helped Pumadyne come up with some way of reversing the action of the dalek gun. And speaking of Razor, the Clawson/Sinian wedding was this weekend, and if this was really going to put a cramp in Jake’s overly busy schedule. Still, it was an emergency, and as Callie reached around in her infinite handbag, she pulled out a triangular device and pushed a button.

Two alarms went off…one was in the pocket of Jake Clawson, and the other one went off in the MegaKat City Salvage Yard. Jake answered his first, mostly to keep the small device in his pocket to continue vibrating in his pants, and by doing so, forced the one at the Salvage Yard to grab special attention of Chance Furlong. As soon as Chance picked up, Callie got through.

“Yes, Miss Briggs?” they answered in unison.

“Guys, I’ve got really bad news for you.”

“Which mega villain this week?” asked Chance.

“You’re not going to believe me when I tell you.”

“Is it that bad?” inquired Jake.

“Yes, it is.”

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense, who is it?” asked a rather pushy Chance.

“Well, it’s more like a what is it.”


“The daleks.”

“SHIT!!!!” said Jake. He had a personal vendetta against the daleks. In all the destructions and deaths, they had driven him to the craziness that he should shoot himself, and by doing so, he regenerated into a new form, forcing to completely reestablish himself in every form of existence. “We’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“Over and out!” said Chance, cutting Callie off of the communication. Asking to Jake “Are we OK enough to do this?”

“I hope so, the city needs us.”

“Right. Locking into frequency for transmat…transport in 5..4..3..2..1..Open Sesame, You’re on your way.” Lights and smoke and Jake was in the hangar, changing.

“Off we go!” said T-Bone.

“Affirmative” said Razor.

The two kats hopped off in the Turbokat, and off they went.

Moments Later

Razor lept from the Turbokat and hit the ground.

“EXTERMINATE!!” screamed a dalek, which fired at Razor, who ducked, forcing the dalek to miss. He shot a blade from his glovatrix and cut off the dalek’s eyestalk.

“VISION IMPAIRED!! I CAN NOT SEE!” squeaked the dalek over and over and over and over and over and over. It fired, killing another dalek. A third dalek killed the first one. Razor jet-packed his way back up to the Turbokat and the daleks retreated to their ship, going up into orbit.

“They’re taking off!”

“I know, T-Bone, and I don’t like it. The daleks don’t give up that easily. They’re going to come back, I can feel it.


Jake, Abi, friends, family, and a bunch of other kats were heading for city hall. Jake and Abi were going to have a civil wedding service for the main event, and then a quiet religious one to make her parents happy. Because Jake wasn’t able to charge to much for the city computer work, he was able to persuade Mayor Manx to perform the ceremony.

When they arrived, Abi went to get her dress on, with her mother, and Jake went to get into his tux. The weather was beautiful, and a nice outdoor wedding would make everyone’s day. In Abi’s changing room:

“Abi dear, can you believe that you’re really going through with this?”

“No, which makes it all the more fun.”

“Where’s taking you for your hineymoon?”

“A week in New York, a week in London, and a week in Egypte.”

“Where will you be in Egypt?”


“How romantic!”

A hidden transmat in the basement of city hall was activated, and what came through it started hovering up the stairs until it heard voices I na room.

“Well mother, how do I look?”

“Amazing. Jake is the luckiest kat on the planet.”

×Fweet! BOOM!× The dalek in the hallway blasted down the door. Abi’s mother did the stereotypical female thing:

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!”


Abi had only one chance: she lept for her handbag and punched the button for the SwatKats alarm, and almost got hit by the dalek.

Where Jake was, he was almost ready when Chance’s pants began to vibrate.

“Looks like an alarm, buddy.”

“Shit. Doesn’t anyone here realize that I’m getting married today?”

“I guess nobody cares.” Replied a happy-go-lucky Chance, who answered the page. “T-Bone here.”



“Abi, what’s wring?” panted Jake, who almost had a heart attack when he hear her name and thinking of her being in trouble.

“There’s a dalek in my changing room.”

“You’re kidding.”


“FUCK! You’re not kidding! I’m on my way. Chance! Get your cards!”

“I’m going with.”

“Fine, let’s move!”

Jake and Chance ran as fast as they could towards Abi’s room.

“So what do you need of mine?”

“I need you to shatter the robot part.”

“That’s not too hard except for one thing.”


“I don’t have my shatter here.”

“WHAT? I though you always carried one!”

“I lost it.”

“Great. I gotta find some way to kill this thing.” Jake found a card from a scattered pile he’d found once: Reality Ripple

“So what does it do?”

“It phases something out of existance.”

“Brutal. I hope it works.”

“Me too. If anything’s happened to Abi…”

“I know. We’re almost there.”

In Abi’s area

The dalek was patrolling the surrounding area, and Abi’s mom was panicking.

“What are we going to do? If we had a nice, orthodox wedding ceremony like I wanted…”

“Mom, shut up.”

“You were always rebellious. Do you see where your stubbornness has gotten us?”

“If you’d cared more about my feelings, we’d both have always been better off!”

The dalek returned, and Mrs. Sinian was impatient: “What are you going to do to us?”


“But what are you-”

“EXTERMINATE!” The dalek fired and exterminated Abi’s mother.


“EXTERMINATE!” The dalek prepared to fire when Jake fired his card and the dalek disappeared.

“COME ON!” shouted Jake. He grabbed Abi and they were off.

As the four of them raced out of city hall, they were being chased by a small army of daleks. After enough corner turning, running, and general confusion, the group fund themselves trapped between two sets of daleks. With the daleks surrounding them and preparing to exterminate the whole croud, Jake said “On my word…”



Everyone ducked, and the daleks all killed each other.

Jake got up first. “Well, now that that’s over, let’s get married.”

Jake got a couple of nasty looks, and the ceremony began.


The entire galaxy should have seen the wedding. It as a grand affair.

“And by the powers bested in e by the law of the city and country, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Said Mayor Manx, ending the wedding. Jake reached over and gave Abi the kiss of her life, going beyond any sensation she’d previously experience. A sonic boom could have gone by unnoticed by the spouses, as they went off to celebrate.

As Jake and Abi left, multiple katizens went up to congratulate the couple, starting with a dawg.


“Thank you. And you are”


“Well, nice meeting you.”

A young kat, around age 14 or so named Jubei came up and offered good wishes, along with kats named Strike, Rosie, Kage, a turtle named Raphael, Rabbi Warner, Callie, the Mayor, and surprisingly, Commander Feral.


Two weeks came and went. Jake had finished moving into Abi’s apartment, and finishing the work for the MegaKat Towers computer systems, and it was almost time for the honeymoon. Jake got home a bit early having finished the systems after rewiring nearly all the ethernet zones in the entire building yet again, and it was finally done. Mayor Manx would be showing off the building in two days, and Jake had to be there to show off his handiwork.

The mayor had spent six months and countless dollars to get MegaKat Towers fixed and to con Mr. Yung to visit and see it AGAIN. He sent Callie extra early to check it out, and she searched the building from top to bottom, and saw no plantimals, no cikatas, and no daleks. The only thing she found was in the basement, and it was some weird electronic thing, and she wrongly assumed it was for Jake’s computers. As she went up in the elevator, the dalek began to materialize…

Callie got off at the 42nd floor, and saw Jake playing with his Mac Powerbook 7500.

“Ready to show off your network?”

“Yep. And it’s straight to the airport as soon as I’m done.”

“Abi excited?”

“Yep. I got my week in NYC, and she got her week in Cairo. We both wanted London.”

“Well, that’s good. The mayor should be here within a couple seconds…”

The elevator ×DING×ed. And Mayor Manx walked out.

“Our entire building computer system was set up by Mr. Jake Clawson.”

“Mr. Clawson, this is a very nice setup, but why did you use Macintoshes?”

“Well, I like them more.”

“I see, but aren’t models by the competition better?”

“Not at all. There are many things that are better about macs….”

As Jake began his long, droning speech about how macs are better, a dalek entered the room and aimed straight for Jake, who stepped out of the way as he was about to be hit. The beam reflected off the monitor and killed Callie.

“And that’s another Mac Advantage, Mr. Young: If that were a Windoze based machine, it would have blown up. Mr. Mayor, you may want to hire an exorcist for this property.”

“Jake…do something…”

Jake pulled out a couple of cans of explosives, and rolled them near the dalek. He set the timers for nine seconds, and they ran out the door past the dalek as the explosives detonated


This is getting WAY too close to planet, and I’m getting bored with it, so here’s the aftermath scene. Then it’s find-the-fish.


Jake was racing through the airport like a kat out of hell. If he was late for this flight, Abi would kill him. The voice on the intercom:

“Last boarding call for Katwest airlines flight 2600 to New York City. Flight departing in seven mintues.”

Jake made it to the gate, panting and wheezing, he have the stewardess his ticket and sat down next to Abi, as the two of them flew off into the sunset, all was good.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++

Well, my final contribution to the series is finished, and it’s gotten pretty bad, but it’s been a rollercoaster. Here’s the info. for the next few:

“Barry Gordon Gets A Vocal Cyst” This is already in production. It’s the sequel to the semi-successful “Barry Gordon Gets Laryngitis,” and is the next story I have coming out.

“Kat Dwarf #1”: A Red Dwarf spoof. This is the one where the quotes contest winner gets their name put in…or in a part of “I of the Storm”

“I of the Storm”: This is a crossover with Image Comics: Mr. Gone, Violator, Overlord, and the Daemonintes have allied to take over the universe. Only the Image heroes can stop them, but even they need help…help provided by the SwatKats. ×NOTE:× This is going to be a series, and I don’t want to have to do most of it, again. If any of you reading this, or anyone else want to do a part, please, please email me with which crossover you want to do. I am looking for people who have read the following comics during the following time periods:

-Pre Wildstorm Rising Issues of: WildC.A.T.S. Stormwatch Gen13 or Backlash


Any issues from 1-20 of the Maxx, or seen the cartoon


Issues from after the second Rampage through #25 or so of The Savage Dragon


Any Issues of Spawn, or seen the HBO cartoon

and feel like you know enough to do crossovers with any of the above comic books, please let me know, as I am looking for authors for my next series, I of the Storm, which will run the SwatKats throughout the universe of Image Comics. Send all comments, suggestions, if you’ll do a part for “I of the Storm”, or you’re entering the quotes contest, send it all to:


See you in Barry Gordon #2


————————————————————- There is no future There is no past I live each moment as my last. –Jonathan Larsen ————————————————————-

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