Original SWAT Kats Story

Scardy SWAT Kat

By Michael Christman

  • 1 Chapter
  • 5,756 Words

Hard Drive’s back, this time with his sights on the entire American treasury as it is electronically set up on a database. He’ll do anything to make sure the SWAT Kats don’t get in his way, even if it means leading T-Bone on a cybernetic chase after his favorite cartoon character.

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Author's Notes:

Based on SWAT Kats characters created by Yvon and Christian Tremblay and produced by Hanna-Barbera. Any independent character or situation is the property of Christman Enterprises Group. Unauthorized use of characters or situations for profit is prohibited by law. If for some reason you want to reproduce this work permission will be granted if proper citation is given. (The author is an egomaniac and loves the idea of his name being spread around.) O.K. now that the legal mumbo jumbo is out of the way I send greetings to you fellow kats fans. Last December I found this fan-fic archive and I enjoyed the stories that were presented so I decided to try my hand (paw) at it too. I have been kicking some ideas around since the show was on in ’94 but not being a very good writer I have never put pen to paper, so to speak, until now. I hope that any comments sent back will keep this in mind. My e-mail address is christman.26@osu.edu SCARDY SWAT KAT

“Here’s your bill.” Commander Feral handed another invoice to Jake. He seemed to have a sense of urgency to his voice as he was handing out their paychecks for the previous two weeks. “Um, thanks commander,” replied Jake noting the urgency in commander Feral’s voice “do you have something on your mind?”

“Nothing that would be of any interest to you two.” Came commander Feral’s reply. He moved to the door while searching for his keys.

“What did our erstwhile commander want?” Asked Chance from under the hood of another car that they were working on.

“Just to give us our checks for this two weeks,” answered Jake, “so after taxes, health care, retirement and that Enforcer building what are you going to do with your $12.36?”

“$12.36, wow we got a raise and to think you objected to going union.” Chance joked back. “We can’t finish the beast of Berlin here till the parts come in so I guess were done for the day at least in the automotive department.” Chance began to move towards the couch and its accompanying television. “Sorry Chance but I think we should get up in the air. Commander Feral looked pretty worried about something so we should at least lend our assistance. Not to mention we can test the new communications system I installed on the Turbokat and the new engine modifications”

“Why didn’t you say so let’s hit the sky!” Exclaimed Chance barreling down to the hanger.

With in a few minutes the Turbokat glides over Megakat city in search of who or whatever was bothering Feral. Not knowing they could search for a long time and not find it because what had Feral worked up so was not a who or what in the traditional sense. * * * Commander Feral sped into the Enforcer building’s parking garage driving like a kat possessed. He nearly clipped lieutenant commander Steele’s brand new luxury sedan sliding into his reserved spot. Getting out of the car Feral composed himself and entered the building. If he was lucky no one would bother him as he made his way to his office.

“Commander?”

No such luck commander Feral thought. “Yes major, can I help you.”

Major Katrina Walker an exchange Enforcer from a small midwestern town ran up to him. “Its just a request for more enforcers to guard Megakat Federal Reserve Bank while they burn the currency sir.” She handed the report to commander Feral who pretended to be interested. “They’re extremely worried that the money may be stolen while it’s electronically logged into the computers.”

“All right take some more troops over, you’ll be in charge.” Feral said while walking down the hall, “And major see if they can’t grab some of that cash, we may need it if we have to take another round of budget cuts.”

“Yes sir.” Major Walker smiled and saluted.

Commander Feral resumed his walk toward the elevator. He pushed the call button. The doors slid open and he entered pushing the button for the floor with his office. Looking at his watch and growing impatient began to press the door close button repeatedly until the doors finally closed and the elevator began its ascent. It stopped at a couple of other floors to pick up and drop off other kats finally stopping on Feral’s desired floor. He got off the elevator quickly marching down the hall to his office. He unlocked his office door and entered then locked the door behind him. “At last I’ve made it.” commander Feral loosened his tie, “If anyone knew about this I’d never get any respect again.” He opened the bottom right paw drawer of his desk. “My secret sin” he spoke as he pulled out a TV turned it on and waited for his favorite cartoon, Scardykat. * * * Hard Drive was waiting too, only for a different reason. He was waiting for the Federal Reserve Bank to complete its electronic transactions so he could steal the 70 billion dollars that was to become electronically logged. This would be the biggest job he has ever tried to pull off. Hard Drive looked up from the computer screen at the sound of his neighbor’s shouting coming through the thin walls of the apartment. He cursed under his breath looking around at the squalid hell-hole that he was forced to live in. It was all the SWAT Kats fault if they hadn’t stopped his plans he would be very wealthy right now. Pumadyne and other defense contractors, the Enforcers and the federal government hardened the security around valuable computer files so it was nearly impossible to make a dishonest buck today. In fact, for the past few months he was reduced to robbing ATM machines again just to survive.

“Not this time,” he spoke, “I’m going to make sure that the SWAT Kats don’t bother my little transaction.” Hard Drive began to pace the dingy apartment grabbing his surge coat in the process. He looked at his clock it read three minutes to three, “Iiiiiiiiiiiiit’s show time!” With that Hard Drive disappeared into the computer. * * * “Razor, these new engine modifications are great!” T-Bone roared as he lead the Turbokat in some high-G rolls. “Come on T-Bone we’re not just up here to test your engines, were also here to test my communications equipment.” Razor was less than pleased with T-Bone’s aerobatics.

“All right buddy,” T-Bone said leveling out the jet, “better?”

“Much.”

“What is all this new gadgetry Razor?”

“It’s a new Mega band scanner. With it we can scan all radio and TV channels for relevant crime information.” Razor sounded quite pleased with himself.

“Really, Hey maybe we can get Scardykat it’s almost on.”

“Now T-Bone this is for work, not pleasure.” Razor reprimanded him.

“It would be more useful as a TV it’s pretty quite out here today. What do you think was bothering Feral?” T-Bone asked muttering the first part.

Before Razor could answer Hard Drive made an appearance in the Turbokat’s instrument panel then popped out in T-Bone’s lap. “Miss me boys?” Hard drive laughed as he slapped an electronic chip on T-Bone’s back.

“Razor, Hard Drive’s back and he is sitting right in my lap!”

“Roger that, I’m going to try to lock him in the jet, copy T-Bone. . .,” Razor saw a flash and heard a noise, “T-BONE!!!!!” But T-Bone was gone.

Hard Drive was leading a very unwilling T-Bone, both now just an electronic blips, through an electronic maze rematerializing in a dark landscape that T-Bone recognized as disturbingly familiar. Hard Drive pulled the chip, that he had placed on T-Bone’s back, off.

“Kinda touchyfeely today aren’t we Hard Drive?” Asked T-Bone somewhat nervous. “What is this, where am I?”

“You’re in a world that I have created it’s to insure that you don’t interfere with my plans while I’m making my little withdrawal.” Hard Drive pressed a button on his surge coat and the figure of Scardykat appeared “You’re going to play a little game SWAT Kat, see this chip? It is a miniature version of my surge coat enough, to get you into my electronic world and out of it too.” He closed his paw over the chip and it became a small gold key on a gold chain this he placed around Scardykat’s neck. “To get out of here is simple,” Hard Drive told T-Bone, “just catch Scardykat, take the key and find a key hole. You will have a half hour to do so, after that this program will terminate and everything in it will be deleted.” Hard Drive pressed the button again and Scardykat disappeared. “Oh and one more thing though this is a cartoon you are still a mortal being. You will react to any thing happening to you as if it were real life. Sooooo, watch for falling anvils.” With! that Hard Drive disappeared into the wall. And the show began.

“Now what?” was all T-Bone could say. * * * Commander Feral nearly choked on the tuna fish sandwich he was eating after seeing T-Bone on the screen. “Oh great,” he moaned, The SWAT-Kats are everywhere now.”

Scardykat rematerialized with the key around his neck. “Come here you crazy kat!” T-Bone shouted and began to run to catch his favorite cartoon star. Scardykat did a wildtake, his eyes bulging out and tongue unrolling about three feet in front of him then he ran off toward a small cabin, T-Bone in pursuit. “Aw crud, he’s faster than the Turbokat.” T-Bone said panting.

T-Bone ran up to the cabin and tried to open the door. It stretched in a variety of weird ways but did not open. T-Bone spied a small window next to the door and looked in. “Looks bigger on the inside.” He said to himself. Then he saw Scardykat dressed in old grandmother’s garb knitting by a fire and he still had the precious key around his neck. T-Bone crawled through the open window and tried to sneak up on the currently placid kat. Unfortunately Scardykat saw T-Bone’s shadow from the fire and screamed in panic running for the nearest exit discarding the clothes but keeping the key. “Crud!” he said and T-Bone began to follow the elusive cat again. This time it was a kitchen T-Bone looked around but didn’t see Scardykat. He began checking everything he could think of eventually becoming a blue blur. He stopped running and started panting, “I didn’t. . . think. . . that. . . I could. . . do that.” He placed his paws on the counter to catch his breath noticing more drawers. T-Bone opened a drawer reveling a much startled Scardykat who was brandishing a butcher knife. T-Bone backed up trying to look non threatening and soon ran into a wall.

Scardykat would have noting to do with T-Bone’s new prone position. He reached into the drawer and pulled out an impossible number of assorted sharp objects. He hurled the cutlery at T-Bone who could only gape in terror as knives of various sorts impacted around him.

T-Bone breathed a sigh of relief. He was still alive thanks to Scardykat’s lousy cartoon aim. A pain in left index claw however told him that at least one of Scardykat’s weapons found its mark. The cut was superficial but enough to tell him that Hard Drive wasn’t kidding this cartoon world was dangerous. Looking down at the meat cleaver between his legs he mused, “Very Dangerous.” T-Bone pulled himself off the wall and began pursuit again. * * * “Meanwhile back in the real world.” Major Walker said as she emerged from the computer control room placing her paws on the railings overlooking the furnaces set up for the burn. She had just learned more than she cared to about how a cashless society would function and how all exchanges of money could be electronically monitored, from an overly excited technician. He claimed that the government would save millions by not having to constantly print new money and the treasury could enhance its revenue collection because income could not be hidden. He also said that the job of the Enforcers would be made easier by being able to track illegal transfers of money. This wasn’t comforting to Katrina the thought of the government knowing every time she bought a pack of gum or anything else disturbed her. Sure it would make dealing in illicit drugs difficult, if not impossible, and tax receipts would be boosted but what about privacy? Hell didn’t we fight a revolution to get r! id of a government that was doing the exact same thing twenty some years ago?

Major Walker turned her attention to the money. A large bundle of 100 dollar bills was pushed onto the platform in front of her, ready for shredding. The custodian who wheeled it out nonchalantly stated that it contained 300 million dollars, then left. “I wish I had a job that would make me dismiss 300 mill like that.” Major walker said to herself. She couldn’t complain, this job was pretty quiet no weird villains have tried to take any thing not even the normal ones. Seventy billion dollars right in this building and everything was quiet except for a number of protesters protesting a cashless society who pretty much kept to the designated protest area. What did it matter, the government would just do what it wanted to any way under the guise of cost cutting or revenue enhancement or crime prevention. Most people would just grumble a little then forget it as they got on with the mundane details of their lives. No one was hungry in this country and kats with full bellies make poor revolutionaries. “Major we have just completed logging in the funds we are going to begin the burning in a few minutes.” The Bank’s director informed Major Walker. they both walked into the control room to plan the final preparations. Hard Drive entered the Federal Reserve’s Computer. The technicians had just completed logging the money into the computers. They would soon begin simultaneously shredding and burning the currency and transferring the money now stored in memory back to regular banks. Good idea thought Hard Drive as he lurked preparing to take the money, “Why didn’t they just put out a big sign saying steal me.” Hard Drive went to work.

“What the Hell?” An astonished technician stumbled back from his console. Hard Drive made his appearance on some of the screens others showed that the United States M-1 money supply was rapidly starting to deplete. The bank director’s horrified reaction alerted the Enforcers who unfortunately were powerless to stop Hard Drive. “Kats alive, This psycho is going to wreck the economy if we don’t stop him.”

“Call Commander Feral were going to need techs to capture Hard Drive before he gets away.” The major shouted to another enforcer her expression denoting the urgency of the situation. Katrina Walker cursed, “Christ, this wasn’t supposed to happen, we were supposed to watch paper money burn not the electric stuff.” The Federal Reserve was so concerned about money being physically stolen that they did not have enough computer nerds to deal with this. Now Hard Drive had at his disposal a full Twenty percent of the nation’s money supply. All he has to do is escape to a country that was mad about American foreign policy, (There were a lot of them) or one that would like to have 70 billion dollars cash (There were even more of those) and he would be home free, the second richest kat in the world after old man Steele. “Damn!” she shouted pounding her fist on the railing. * * * Commander Feral was engrossed in this Scardykat episode. The SWAT Kats or at least one of them was not faring well against cartoonland’s most disturbed feline. T-Bone, or was it Razor, was just hung up on a wall by knives and was now heading out the kitchen door. T-Bone, yes it was T-Bone he was the bigger one, was pursuing Scardykat to a dark foreboding castle.

T-Bone ran up to the castle’s main door and pulled on the handle. It opened with a less than reassuring creak. T-Bone entered the dark castle. It was dimly lit, light from the moon coming through the open door being the source of most of the illumination. T-Bone saw a candelabra and some matches on a table to his left. He walked to the table picked up the matches and struck one. Nothing happened. He tried it wit a second, a third and so on until there was only one left. “C’mon baby, light!” T-Bone shouted at the match. It caught fire giving the room an eiree glow. T-Bone lit the candles and began to look for Scardykat again.

The castle was constructed of stone and appeared to be abandoned. Dust covered everything and cobwebs and spider webs hung from various corners. The walls were lined with suits of armor, mirrors, pictures and tapestries but no Scardykat. T-Bone walked down the spooky hallway slowly watching his refection go by in the passing mirrors. One refection though turned out to be Scardykat and in true cartoon fashion he momentarily missed it. Popping his head back T-Bone again came face to face with Scardykat who promptly screamed and blew out the candles leaving T-Bone in the dark. “Crud!” T-Bone shouted again then he remembered his night vision googols in his flight helmet. flipping them on made the sparse light in the castle look like daytime. Why didn’t I think of this before?”

T-Bone followed Scardykat down the hallway but stopped at an intersection with another hall. He scratched his head (as best he could with the helmet on) trying to figure out which way Scardykat went not noticing one of the suits of armor raising its mace and walking towards him. He did notice however when the suit brought the mace down on his head. T-Bone’s helmet absorbed the brunt of the blow but it still hurt and now he had little cartoon birds circling his head. Scardykat who was occupying the suit discarded it and was running down the hall again. T-Bone heard another door open and felt a cool breeze. His night vision no longer worked but he could follow the breeze out.

An Enforcer burst into commander Feral’s office shouting, “Commander, we’ve got a big emergency!”

Commander Feral, who had just been laughing at Scardykat pounding the crap out of T-Bone, screamed in startled amazement knocking his TV off the desk. He looked over the side of his desk, the TV was now just a smoking wreck. He turned to the Enforcer who burst into his office shouthing, “Where the Hell do you get off charging into my office like that I should put you on report!”

“Sorry sir but we couldn’t get a hold of you on either phone line or through he intercom. Hard Drive is stealing the money from Megakat Federal Reserve Bank and so far we can’t do a thing to stop him.”

“Hard Drive! great that’s all we need, have some techs been sent over?” Commander Feral asked putting on his coat heading for the door

“Yes sir, they are already on the way.”

“Good, have my Chopper standing by”

“Yes sir!” * * * Razor was flying in lazy circles around the city using most of his communications channels to attempt to find where T-Bone went. when he heard the call go out to have all available enforcers with computer experience to come to the Federal Reserve Bank to try to capture Hard Drive before he gets away with the money. “Hard Drive, Aw Crud. First he takes T-Bone now this.” Razor pounded his fist on the console if he wanted to get T-Bone back he’d have to contact Hard Drive. Razor turned the Turbokat toward the Megakat Federal Reserve Bank.

“Back off SWAT Kats, the Enforcers can handle this.” Feral’s confident voice attempted to mask the fact that he hadn’t the slightest idea of what to do.

“It’s just SWAT Kat right now commander, T-Bone’s been kidnapped by Hard Drive. He was taken into the computer system.”

“No it couldn’t be that would mean that that SWAT Kat on Scardykat really was a SWAT Kat. . .” Commander Feral spoke then shut up when he realized what he said.

“T-Bone’s in a cartoon? Thanks commander.” Razor turned the Turbokat around he would leave Hard Drive to the Enforcers for now. He had to get a hold of T-Bone first and find a way to get him out of there.

“Don’t mention it.” Commander Feral mumbled under his breath looking at the enforcer next to him who was trying desperately not to laugh. * * * T-Bone had problems of his own he found the door out of the castle, he even found Scardykat unfortunately he also found himself staring up the barrels of three Thompson sub-machine guns held by Zoot suited gangsters. T-Bone and Scardykat meekly put up their paws hoping for the best. The best was not what they were going to get. The three gangsters pulled the bolts back on their guns and leveled them at the pair. T-Bone dived behind a bunch of packing crates just before the bullets started to fly. Scardykat’s screams seemed to indicate that he wasn’t so lucky. T-Bone hoped that the key was not going to be damaged.

When the shooting stopped T-Bone peaked around the corner of the crates. Scardykat was still standing there shivering, around him the brick wall was shot away except for a Scardykat silhouette behind him. Scardykat broke into a run the gangsters shooting after him. T-Bone climbed up on some empty packing crates, then jumped on one of the gangsters taking his weapon. The other two spun to meet him but T-Bone fired at them shooting their pants off, literally. The two gangsters now standing in their boxer shorts complete with hearts, threw down their guns and fled. The third gangster stirred and T-Bone kicked him in the face back into unconsciousness. * * * “Walker what’s happening here?” Commander Feral entered the bank’s control center to take charge.

“Sir Hard Drive is in the computer he’s got the better portion of what was stored there, we’re trying to lock him in. We just didn’t have the people to do it at first.” She tried to put a good spin on the situation.

“Commander thank God you’re here, Hard Drive is in our computer system he’s stealing our money.” The bank’s director told him desperately.

“So I’ve gathered,” Commander feral was not pleased to be after this techno weasel again and especially after a welcome mat had been placed in front of him, “we’ll get him out.”

“You have to, if Hard Drive gets away we will be looking at a major economic catastrophe.” The director began again in a more serious tone. “Do you realize what would happen if one fifth of the country’s cash just floated away.” Both commander Feral and major Walker had a vague idea but both shook their heads no. The director started again, “Basically the country would experience a cash crunch leading to a deflationary trend including a recession or possibly depression.”

Commander Feral started, “But you still have the currency why don’t you just recirculate it?”

The director shook his head, “Even though the money is gone it still exists; putting this cash back into circulation would be like dumping 70 billion dollars into somebody’s lap. We would have an inflationary trend worse than Wiemar Germany in the 1920’s. What Hard Drive is doing is equivalent to a lot of people hoarding money under their mattresses or keeping pennies in jars either way we’re looking at fiscal collapse.” The three kats looked up at the screens there was now less than five billion dollars left to steal and Hard Drive was appearing to make short work of it. * * * T-Bone was chasing Scardykat again this time however he had a weapon and he was huntin’ Scardykat. T-Bone watched as Scardykat fled down the street towards a park. As he attempted to follow he heard a siren then two shots rang out. Two kats dressed in pre-revolutionary police uniforms were shooting at him from an old squad car that looked like it came out of the 1920’s. “Just Great,” T-Bone thought out loud, “Now the cops are after me.” T-Bone ran down the street towards a park the two police officers in the car in hot pursuit.

“T-Bone are you there?” Razor’s unmistakable voice came out of nowhere.

“Razor! good to hear ya buddy.” T-Bone was pleased to hear a friendly voice.

“Where are you?”

“I’m being chased by a couple of cops.” T-Bone ducked into a park hiding behind a tree. The police in the car spotted him and began driving towards the park. T-Bone unleashed a barrage of bullets at the oncoming police car’s grille it went wild and crashed into a wall its occupants now had little birds circling their heads.

“What was that?” Razor asked nervously.

“I was just getting rid of a couple of tails. How did you find me?”

“Commander Feral told me. The rest was just finding where you’re located.”

“Feral huh? Listen buddy I’d like to chat but I have to find Scardykat he has the only way out. T-Bone began moving deeper into the park after his elusive prey. “If I don’t find him before this show is over. I’m going to be deleted with it.”

“How did you get in there? Maybe there is a way I can get You out.” Razor tried not to sound worried for his partner.

“Hard Drive, he brought me in here with a chip that is a miniature version of his surge coat. Right now its around Scardykat’s neck. What I don’t understand is why he brought me here.”

“He’s robbing the Megakat Federal Reserve Bank. And he has me chasing my tail to try to find you. Crud, I played right into his hands.”

“Razor don’t blame yourself I’ve only got a few minutes left. You have to get Hard Drive. I have to get Scardykat.”

“Roger that T-Bone. Good luck.”

T-Bone noticed that he was out of the park and into a forest. He stopped to check the surroundings and noticed a clearing with a fort. It was one of those wooden colonial types with cannons on the top ramparts. Scardykat was standing next to one battery with a torch preparing to fire. He fired the cannon in T-Bone’s general direction then fired a second shot.

“Oh no, not this time Scardykat.” T-Bone aimed the Thompson at Scardykat and pulled the trigger. A stream of bullets headed in Scardykat’s direction missing him but scaring him enough to send him back into flight. T-Bone leveled the Thompson at Scardykat again and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. T-Bone pulled back the bolt and tried again still nothing. “What! out of ammo who ever heard of that happening in a cartoon.” T-Bone slumped down by one of the cannon balls Scardykat shot at him, if only he could hurl it at that stupid kat.

Then a light bulb lit over his head. “Hard Drive said that things happening to me would be like real life but he didn’t say anything about what I did to other objects. Let’s see if I can’t put a little toon physics to use.” T-Bone broke off a branch from a nearby tree that was slightly bent at the end. He moistened his claw stuck it in the air then addressed the cannon ball. With a swing that would have made Mayor Manx proud he connected with it. The cannon ball sailed through on a perfect trajectory hitting Scardykat right on the head stopping him cold. “As Razor would say, Bingo!”

T-Bone ran over to the Cartoon kat who was now folded up like an accordion. Scardykat’s single visible eye looked strait at him following his every move. T-Bone took the key from around Scardykat’s neck now all he had to do was find a lock. Spying the cabin that first started this mess T-Bone ran towards it as fast as he could. He jammed the key into the lock and turned it. The door opened and the key turned back into a chip. T-Bone took the chip and attached it to his flight suit then jumped into the door. Behind him the latest episode of Scardykat ended. * * * In the Federal Reserve Bank things weren’t going as well unless you were Hard Drive. He had finished stealing all of the money and was searching for a way out. The Enforcers and bank technicians had blocked a lot of the escape routes but Hard Drive managed to find an exit.

“Well I’ll be going now, see you in Katlumbia.” Hard Drive laughed as he made his escape.

“Damn!” The bank director cursed, “He’s gone”

“Well that was easy” Hard Drive said as he zipped through the communications system of Megakat City laughing. “I’ll never have to work again.”

“Now I wouldn’t say that,” T-Bone began, “The Megakat prison system still needs kats to break rocks.”

“You, your supposed to be deleted!” An astonished Hard Drive shouted.

“Well I beat your little game and now I’m going to beat you.” T-Bone blocked Hard Drive’s escape at every turn. The 70 billion dollars that Hard Drive had stored in his surge coat was making his ability to move through the communications system much more difficult. The two currently electronic kats fought each other tooth and nail causing electrical surges throughout Megakat City’s telephone network that fried everything electronic they got near. Hard Drive knew he could not escape through the phone system and looked for another way out. Spying a junction box Hard Drive decided to exit and try his luck on foot. That was not one of his better ideas. The out of shape computer hacker was no match for a highly trained former Enforcer and SWAT Kat like T-Bone. Who materialized just behind him. T-Bone slugged Hard Drive in the face knocking him out then removed his surge coat. * * * Razor looked forlorn, his best buddy in the world had just been deleted and the guy responsible had gotten away. “Damn you, Hard Drive I don’t care where you hide I’ll find you!”

“He’s over her by Katimere and Morris. Jeez Razor, what do I have to do draw you a map?” T-Bone joked.

“T-Bone your alive! Now I don’t have to advertise for a new partner.” Razor followed T-Bone’s communicator and several Enforcer choppers followed Razor. * * * In the bank’s control room the director looked like he was contemplating suicide, commander Feral was holding his head in his paws not believing that he could have underestimated Hard Drive that badly as major Walker tried to console him. The money was gone all on its way to Katlumbia. “Commander,” the Enforcer who burst into his office earlier that day ran into the control room, “the SWAT Kats just captured Hard Drive.” Commander Feral dropped his head on the table.

At Katimere and Morris T-Bone climbed back into the pilot’s seat of the Turbokat just as commander Feral and the Enforcers got there. Commander Feral took control of the situation. “Reich, get that coat and take it back to the bank, Walker, arrest Hard Drive!” One Enforcer collected the surge coat, Major Walker arrested the still unconscious Hard Drive. He’d have to be read his rights when he woke up.

“Well this case sure had more excitement than I planned on.” Major Walker picked up Hard Drive and carried him to commander Feral’s chopper. Turning to commander Feral she asked, “Is every case assignment in this city this exciting or was this a good day?”

“This is about average Major.” Turning to the SWAT Kats, “And as for you two hot shots what’s the idea of blowing up millions of dollars in phone equipment, half the city’s telephone network is down. I should arrest you for assault too.” Commander Feral pointed at T-Bone.

“Hey sorry, but Hard Drive turned me into an electronic blip how was I supposed to know that fighting with him would do that.” T-Bone was becoming defensive. “And as for that phony assault charge Hard Drive asked for it.”

“Aw c’mon commander Feral. T-Bone just had a bad half hour.” Razor protested.

“We’ll be going now commander see ya in the funny pages.” T-Bone closed the canopy activated the VTOL engines and lifted into the sky. Down below commander Feral mouthed something unintelligible.

“You know T-Bone I think there is a Scardykat marathon tonight. Are you gonna watch it?”

“Razor after being maced, shot at with machine guns and a cannon and nearly being turned into a cutlery set by that crazy kat. I am ready to spend a little time in the real world.”

THE END

[EPILOGUE] “This is Ann Gora Kats eye news. We have two late breaking news items. First reports from Washington indicate that the Fed is not going to go ahead with the plan to convert all American currency to electronic dollars citing, widespread unpopularity and other unspecified problems. “Second Dateline Katlanta: media mogul tED tURNER announced he is canceling any further production of the cartoon, Scardykat, because he believes a disturbed fan of the show was responsible for the Scardykat SWAT Kat crossover shown today. Here is Mr. tURNER speaking for himself. “. . . I don’t think it’s wise to feed the sick minds that come up with this quote unquote fan fiction. Why I bet if they got half a chance they would write nasty things about me. . .” Any further broadcast was terminated by a socket wrench flying through the TV. “Chance couldn’t you just change the channel.”

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