Title: A Bright and Snaky Christmas
Author(s): Melissa Braun
E-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Warnings: Don’t read this if you still believe in Santa.
Disclaimer: I don’t own SWAT Kats, Hanna-Barbera does. If I owned it, it would still be on air.
Summary: In a not-too-distant future, Dr. Viper and the Metallikats hatch a scheme to travel back in time and end the SWAT Kats’ careers before they even begin. With Chance and Jake just two young kittens whose greatest concern is getting to see Santa Klauws, who will save them?
I’m sorry if names are similar to anyone-else’s OCs. I tried my hardest to be original.
Please e-mail me and tell me what you think. This is my first SK fan fiction, so please R&R (Read &Review)
There was a whir of instruments. A muscular she-kat in an enforcer uniform stood in the shadows of a dark room. Another kat was standing to her left. Two younger she-kats in blue uniforms were standing on a strange metallic platform.
The female enforcer looked at the young she-kats, “You know the gravity of the situation. Do not fail in your mission; otherwise the results will be disastrous.”
“Yes, ma-am,” the taller one of the she-kats replied. “We’ll do our best.”
The kat, in a lab coat, was about to press a large button on one of the many control panels in the room. He hesitated, “Be careful girls.”
They nodded. And, suddenly, in a flash of light, they were gone.
A green shadow slithered through the sewers of MegaKat City. Yellow eyes shown through the darkness. The shadow slithered down the dank surroundings as naturally as could be. It turned the corner and slipped into a larger chamber. Two VERY annoyed robots were waiting for him.
“What took you so long, Viper?” the more female of the two spat out
“Yeah, Viper, me an’ Molly’ve been waiting in this dump for hours!” the other, shorter one, chorused metallically.
“Patiencssssse Metallikats, I wassss looking for the two SsssWAT Katsss. I might have found them.” He flicked his tail angrily. “But, I will need you to confirm it before we can exssssssterminate them.” His eyes gleamed with intense evality.
“Yeah, it sure was a great idea of yours, break into enforcers’ headquarters and take a ride on their little time machine and knock off the SWAT Kats long before they were a problem,” the male half of the Metallikats blabbered.
“And, hack the future deputy Mayor while we’re at it,” Molly added.
“Yesss and MegaKat City will be ours for the taking!” Viper exclaimed. His tail once again began flicking in anticipation.
(In Another part of the City…)
“Jake! Jake, where are you!” a yellow tabby cried out. “C’mon, Jake! Where are you?”
“What would be the fun in telling you?” a distant voice answered. “Besides, the whole point of the game is for you to find me.”
“Well… still… WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!” the heavy framed six year old roared, his temper showing.
“Calm it, Chance. I’m right here. Sheeze, are you worked up!” a reddish brown kat, with a smaller build than his burly friend of course, said. “It’s just a game! No need to get so angry.”
“I am NOT!” Chance retorted.
“BOYS! Stop bickering and get your coats! It’s time to go to the mall!” Jake’s mother stepped in.
“Yes, Mrs. Clawson,” Chance said meekly.
“Aww, Mom, do we have to?” Jake complained; having to go to the mall was definitely not his idea of fun.
“Do you want to go see Santa Klauws or –?” his mother was cut off. The two kittens dashed passed her and into the foyer of their small home.
“Well, Mom, what are you waiting for?” Jake said impatiently.
She shook her head.
(Behind enforcer HQ)
A blinding flash of light appeared out of nowhere, and then two she-kats were standing in the alley behind the enforcer building.
“Well, THAT was easy,” the taller one said sarcastically. “Now what do we do?”
“Relax, Ally,” the one with the then reddish brown hair said. “I’ve got one of their addresses; c’mon, let’s go!”
‘Ally’ was tall, especially for her age, and had a head of brown hair with wide streaks of white on either side of her face. Her partner, slightly shorter, had reddish brown hair with a full tail of the same color. Both of the pair were wearing blue flight suits, with a double triangle symbol.
“Jay,” Ally said firmly. “We stick out like sore thumbs! How are we supposed to find them when the first enforcer who sees us will stick us in the loony bin!?!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got us a change of clothes in my backpack.” Jay shot her partner a withering glance. “To the nearest mall!”
(Megakat City Mall)
“Yay! Aren’t you excited, guys! We get to talk to Santa!” a young blond kitten exclaimed.
“Callie, please, we see Santa every year. It’s no big deal,” the girl behind her stated, pushing her black-and-white hair into place.
“Lighten up, Felina; it’s almost three days before Christmas! Aren’t you even the least bit excited?” Jake said. He and Chance had gotten to the mall fifteen minutes earlier. The long line started almost at the door of the mall, but the line was moving at a decent and orderly pace. It had to be; it was run by the enforcers. And, who would be in the Santa Klauws suit but newly promoted Commander Ulysses Feral himself.
“Holy Kats! Hey, guys, look at what those kits are doing!” Everyone stopped and looked at what Chance was pointing at.
It seems someone didn’t like Santa, or they liked him too much. Whatever the case, a mob of kitts were chasing poor Commander Feral around the mall. He ran and ran until they finally overtook him. There was a large ball of colors, arms, legs, and pieces of beard; screams and shouts echoed all over MegaKat Mall…
(The Other Side of MKCM)
“Ally, did you here that?” Jay said, now wearing a flattering red shirt and comfortable blue jeans.
Ally perked up her mangled ears. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I do hear something. Sounds like someone screaming.”
“Let’s go check it out!” She raced off, leaving her friend in the dust.
“WAIT UP!!” Ally darted after her friend, trying to catch up.
They got there when it was all over. There were bits of fake snow, Santa costume, and beard everywhere. In a corner, a group of kitts of every shape and size were backing up a defenseless Feral. Ally and Jay went strait to work; they calmed the kitts down and sent them to their parents. They dusted off the Commander and were about to leave, when he stopped them.
“How-How in the world did you stop them? They were about to rip me to shreds! How could you do what a trained enforcer couldn’t!?” he stammered
“That enforcer, apparently, was never a babysitter,” the she-kats said in union.
Feral just groaned.
“Did you see that, Jake?” Chance said.
“I saw it, but I don’t believe it,” Jake said.
The girls echoed the boys in their responses.
“I loved the blue top one of them was wearing; do you think that it would look good on me?” Everyone rolled their eyes. “Well, I guess they fought good too. Do you think that when we get older, WE’LL be able to do that?” Callie looked awed by what the two older girls just did.
“I wish. They probably took some fancy courses or something.” Felina, as always, remained skeptical.
“Still, ya gotta admit, that was pretty cool,” Jake piped up, pretty impressed by the girls’ performance as well.
“Oh please, Jake, anyone could do that, if they knew what they were doing.” Chance yawned.
“Oh really, so YOU could think you could do better?” Callie argued.
“Yeah! So, what’s it to ya?” Chance shot back. The makings of a full-scale war were at hand. But, of course…
(Upper Floor of MKCM)
“What a show! Too bad Commander Feral didn’t get bumped off by those kids! Now THAT would be something to read in the papers!” Mac cackled from behind his mask.
“Shut up, Mac. So, Viper, are those kids the ones you were talking about?” She pointed to the gang, who were arguing about the girls’ adventure. “Yeah, they look about right.”
“Perfect, now we jussst need to execute my flawlesssssss plan…” Viper hissed.
“And, just what is this flawless plan of yours?” Mac whined.
“Well, firsssst we…..” The Metallikats leaned in as Viper revealed his plan.
Commander Feral turned to find a tall, slightly hunched over kat looming behind him. He jumped slightly at the sight of his strange, almost alien eyes. The two yellow half crescents burned into his very soul, making him quite nervous.
“H-Hello, sir.” He regained his authoritative composure. “How may I help you?”
The peculiar kat paused for a minute then spoke, “It ssseamsssss that you are undersssstaffed in one particular area of thisss mall. My partnerssssss and I were wondering if we could be of asssissstanssssss.”
The commander just noticed the two kats behind his visitor. Except for the over sized trench coats, the two looked perfectly normal; well, that and the glowing red eyes.
“And, what kind of assistance would that be, Mr.…” Feral trailed off, hoping the visitor would fill in the blank.
“Purvisss, Mr. Purvissssss, if you don’t mind.” Those eyes looked into his again. “My partnerssss and I wissssh to assssissst you in the childrensss department.”
Uh-Oh THIS guy wants to help with kits? Feral thought. Well it couldn’t hurt. “What exactly do you mean, Mr. …Purvis?”
“We wisssh to help a particular part of the childrensss department, mainly the dissstribution of giftsss.”
“Wait, you mean you want to be our Santa Klauws!” Commander Feral almost laughed; the thought of his kat dressing up as Santa was enough to make rocks guffaw! He turned to the two other visitors “And, let me guess, you two want to be his elves! Fine, you start immediately.”
Kats, nobody is gonna believe this! Commander Feral thought as the three strangers left the room. Unable to contain it any longer, he burst into laughter.
Viper was sitting on an oversized chair, wearing an itchy beard, and wearing a suit that was eight sizes too big in the sweltering heat while letting snotty nosed brats sit on his lap and ramble on and on about what they wanted for the holiday he hated most. As if that wasn’t the worst of his problems, the SWAT Kats weren’t in sight! Just then, Viper saw them; strange, he would have pictured them stronger than most, but they looked like ordinary kits.
“I wanna go first! You went first to get hotdogs, so I get to go first NOW!” said the heftier one.
That mussst be T-bone, Viper thought. He hasssss the sssssame markingsss, and it certainly sssoundsss like him.
“Hello, little kitten, what issss your name?” Santa Viper said calmly, watching as the tom-kitten climbed in his lap.
“Chance.” He flashed his sure-fire get-the-adults-to-think-I’m-an-angel grin. Man is Santa weird looking, Chance thought to himself. Who would’ve guessed that his eyes were yellow?
“Ssso, Chance, what do you, want for Chrissstmasss?” He looked at his ‘elves’ and nodded.
“That’s the signal, Mac! Lets do this,” Molly whispered at her partner. “Remember the plan?”
“Yeah, I remember the plan! What do you take me for, an idiot? First, we get the SWAT Kittens, and then we get Viper,” he growled while grabbing a small bag, hidden behind one of the larger decorations. “Well, c’mon, what are you waiting for, Christmas?”
“It is Christmas, you big oaf!” Molly scoffed as she attached an electro cannon. “Now move it!”
When they were fully armed, they ripped off their elf disguises, revealing metallic skin, glowing red eyes, and weapons galore. Amazingly, no-one noticed them until they got six feet from the Christmas tree.
“Mommy! What are those things?” a young she-kitten pointed at the robotic partners-in-crime “They’re scaring me, Mommy!”
“Stop your whining, Brat! We ain’t gonna hurt ya, unless you keep jabbering!” Molly revolved her electro cannon around the entire hall. “And, that goes for the rest of ya too!”
The talking stopped, hearts raced, and kids stifled their crying. The shoppers stopped shopping, enforcers reached for their guns, and clerks froze. All eyes turned to the two metal beings that held their fate.
They sauntered through the terrified crowd, grinning to themselves as only a robot could. They stopped when they reached the oversized chair, nodding to the man who sat on it.
Suddenly, he grabbed the tiny kitten on his lap by the scruff and whipped off his red suit, beard, and the mask underneath, revealing a horrible, grotesque green monster.
“So, little Chance, here’ssss YOUR Christmasss presssent! An early grave!!” it roared, ready to smash little Chance into a wall.
“Hold it right there, Viper!”
“What?! Who sssaid that!?” Viper cried, angry that his revenge plan had been interrupted. “Metallikatsss! Get the intruder!”
“Don’t go to all that trouble just for us, Viper. We’re right behind you!” said the voice again. Viper turned and saw two she-kats standing behind him.
“Ssso the girl ssscout patrol isss here to ssstop me. How sssweet! What are you going to do, pelt me with cookiesss?” He laughed “Metallikats! Attack!”
“Sure thing, doc,” the robo-kat criminals said in union. They charged, but they were met with a mini knock-out missile to the face.
“What! Where did THAT come from?” Molly cried. “How did a couple of kids like you get your hands on such high tech stuff?”
The two she-kats looked at each other and smiled.
“You don’t remember us? Let me refresh your memory,” the shorter one said. In a flash, she was wearing a slim blue flight suit, complete with matching helmet.
“That hurt, you guys. We went all the way back in time to stop you, and you can’t even remember our names!” the taller, tabby-colored one remarked, now dressed to match her partner.
“You know, you do look kinda familiar, now that you mention it,” Mac recalled. “Are you the two kids that we threw in the dumpster in sixth grade?”
“No! We’re the SWAT Kats, genius!” the red head yelled.
“I thought the SWAT Kats were guys?” Mac said, confused.
“The first SWAT Kats were. We’re the second generation,” the second one said seriously. “I’m Arrow; she’s Blade. We’re here to kick your tails; that’s all you need to know.”
“Works for me.” Mac shrugged. “Let’s do this.” He fired an arctic blaster ray at Arrow, who dodged it just in time.
“Heat blasters, AWAY!” Blade yelled. The small pin-sized missiles caught themselves in Mac’s plating.
“Hah! You call that a weapon? My grandma could punch harder!” he scoffed.
“Wait for it…” Blade covered her ears. A thunderous explosion rocked the mall. “BINGO!”
“Mac!” Molly yelled as she saw her husband turn into scrap metal. “You’ll pay for that!” She fired her electro cannon at the SWAT Kat.
“Missed me!” Blade yelled as she dodged her opponent’s blasts. “You couldn’t hit the broad side of the barn if you tried!”
“Oh yeah, well, we’ll see-” Molly never finished her sentence, on account of Arrow fired a mini scrambler missile into Molly’s back.
“Nice work, Arrow. I’ll make a sharp shooter out of you yet.” Blade grinned.
“Well, I never would’ve hit her if you hadn’t have distracted her. Hey, aren’t we forgetting something?” Arrow replied
“Viper!” the two yelled. They looked to see Viper had a hold of the two future SWAT Kats.
“Try and get me, SssWAT Katsss!” He slipped into a drain underneath the tree, his hostages screaming.
“Oh great! He went into the sewers. How could this day get any worse?” Blade whined
“Lets just get this over with.” Arrow, opening the grate, slid in.
Blade, scowling, followed suit.
“Ally! We’ve been in here for hours! Why can’t we go see if the Enforcers nabbed him?” Blade moaned.
“Because, one, he’s probably still here, and two, do you really think the Enforcers could handle a highly dangerous criminal like Dr. Viper?” Arrow retorted. They had been sloshing through muck for the longest time, and they hadn’t even seen a trace of Viper yet. Is it even possible that Jake and Chance are still alive? Yes they have to be, otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. He probably wants hostages so, in case we do corner him, he’ll have a bargaining chip. She pushed a white strand of hair out of her face, while listening for any sign of a living being. Unfortunately, the slimy brick walls caused long echoes, making it harder for her to hear.
“Jay, stop. I think I hear something!” Arrow put a hand in front of her partner.
After a minute, Blade asked, “What was it?”
“C’mon, let’s go!” Arrow dashed off, with Blade not too far behind.
“Ssso, you two are the pessstsss who keep on ruining my plansss to take over thisss acursssed csssity!” Viper spat, his eyes glowing with anger. “Well, you’ll soon get what you deserve!”
“I-I d-don’t know what you’re talking about; I-I’v never s-seen you in my life,” a tiny, defenseless Jake whimpered.
“Ah, but you will! And, you’ll be the mossst aggravating thorn in my flesssh! That isss why I am perssssonally ssseeing to your demissse.” His tail flicked with anticipation. “And, your blood will tassste as sssweet asss honey to a bee.” He laughed menacingly.
“Hey, Viper, miss us?” A black boot collided with the villain’s face.
“Yay!!” cried the two kittens, huddling in a corner.
“C’mon, you two, let’s get moving!” a voice said as a pair of arms scooped them up. “I’m getting you guys out of here.”
“We can take care of ourselves!” an embarrassed Chance protested. “We don’t need two girly-girls to help us out!”
“Sure you don’t; we just wanted to help move things along.” A pair of green eyes smiled down at him. “Now, Chance, if you’re so macho, I want you and Jake to stand at both sides of the tunnel; that’s it. And, I want you to take this rope and pull it really tight. Perfect. Now, stay just like that and don’t move until I tell you to.” A red-headed she-kat looked at them. “Be careful, and try not to make any noise, got it?”
“We’ve got it. Just one question. How do you know our names?” Jake inquired, still holding on to the rope.
“That’s a good question. As a matter of fact, it’s so good, I’ll tell you when you’re older.” She grinned and turned to leave.
“Wait, does that mean we’ll see you again?” Chance asked, pulling his end harder.
“You just might, guys, you just might.” She walked away, fading into the darkness.
Arrow saw a green tail heading for her face and ducked. She fired a round of octopus missiles, each of course missing their mark.
“Isss that all you have, SssWAT Kat? The Metallikatsss ssshoot better than you,” Viper snubbed. “At leassst they had a chanssse of hitting me.”
Her response was a series of jabs and kicks. Suddenly, a flash of light burst behind her.
“Arrow, get down!”
She hit the ground with a sickening thud. When she lifted her head, she saw a slightly stunned Viper glaring at her partner.
“Give it up, Viper! There’s no place to go!” Blade pointed her glovatrix at the mutant kat.
“You forget the back entranssse, SssWAT Kat!” He darted to the back door
“That’s what you think,” Blade muttered as soon as Viper was out of sight.
Jake felt as if he had been sitting in the same spot for hours. As the seconds ticked slowly by in time with the gentle lappings of the murky water. The water started to pound his legs. He pulled harder on the rope instinctively.
“Good. I lossst them. Now, I jussst have to find thossse two little-” A tall green figure tripped over the rope. It slid out of Jake’s hand so fast it burned. He heard two kats running towards them.
“Net bomb AWAY!” A net flew out of no-where and landed on the creature.
“Nice work, Blade. Let’s bag this creep and call it a day.” Arrow gave her partner a classic T-Bone grin.
(Behind enforcer HQ)
“See ya, Jake, Chance,” Blade said, waving.
“Stay out of trouble, you two.” Arrow grinned, holding Viper by the scruff.
“We will, but when will we see you again?” Jake’s eyes searched theirs for answers.
“Well, if you’re lucky, you won’t be seeing us for a long time.” Blade laughed. Then, in a flash of light, the two she-kats were gone.
“Chance, what just happened?” Jake looked at his friend, confused.
“I have no idea. No idea at all. Hey, wanna get some ice-cream?” Chance smirked.
“Definitely. Race ya there!” Jake dashed down the sidewalk.
“Hey, no fair, you had a head start!” Chance yelled as he chased after Jake
Footprints on the Sand
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The lives of great men all remind us,
We can make our lives sublime;
And departed, leave behind us,
Footprints on the sands of time.
Footprints that perhaps another
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother
Seeing shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing
With a heart for any fate
Still achieving, still pursuing
Learn to labor, and to wait.
Merry Christmas Everyone
Disclaimer: SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron is copyright to Hanna-Barbera Cartoons Inc. All Rights Reserved. © 1995. All other characters and material within this page are the property of their respective creators.