Original SWAT Kats Story

The SWAT Kats Bloop Show

By KS Claw

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,237 Words

A series of bloopers that were never seen on the show, hosted by KS and her sister.

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Author's Notes:

My first fic in the humor genre, so be gentle. Comments will be greeted with open arms. Flames will be fed to my dragon Skie. And DingoChargher is (C) to my sister who goes under the same name.

(voice): Greetings everyone! And welcome to the SWAT KATS “bloop” show. Here´re your hosts: KS Claw aaaaand Dingo Chargher!

::applause as KS Claw, a 15-year old she-kat with stripes on cheeks and arms, enters the studio together with DingoChargher, her 19 year old sister::

KS: Hi Everybody! I´m KS Claw! ::bows to the extra applause::

DC: And I´m Dingo Chargher! ::bows as well::

BOTH: And welcome to the SWATKATS “Bloop” show! ::both bow under the applause and cheering::

::KS and Dingo settle down in some chairs and Dingo begins::

DC: So KS, you’ve just come from the Amazon in Brazil? Cause it looks like your hair´s been through a jungle! ::laughter from audience::

KS: Why yes! I just got a flight home on one of the Pastmaster’s zombie-dragons, and when we reached here, he was DEAD-tired! ::more laughter::

::KS turns to the camera::

KS: Well anyway, we haven´t come here to fire off lousy jokes, so why don´t we just start…

DC: THE SWAT KATS “BLOOP” SHOW!!!!

KS: Exactly, Dingo. And you know what it means?

DC: We will get to see the failed clips which were never shown!

KS: On “SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron” and in the SWATKAT fanfics!! Which is why it´s called:

BOTH: THE SWAT KATS “BLOOP” SHOW! ::cheering from the audience::

DC: Here is one from the very first episode of the first season. From “The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice.” ::DC and KS turn to big screen where the two graverobbers are digging on a old cemetary and now are about to drag up the Pastmaster’s chest::

GR1: Oh cripes, it´s heavy! Oops! ::drops the chest which lands on the other graverobber’s foot::

GR2: YIIHAAAOOOUUUW!!! ::jumps around clenching one foot cursing and swearing, while the other one laughs::

GR1: Oh god, I´m sorry! ::cracks up and looks on camera while laughing:: I…it just slipped from me!::keeps on laughing::

KS: Oh, that was an absolute classic! DC: Yeah. I still get stomach ache from watching that one!

KS: Well, here is another clip from “The Giant Bacteria,” in which the good Dr. Viper… has some mouth problems.

::we see Morboulus and Viper in the doc´s lab::

M: So…this is the legendary Dr. Viper’s laboratory.

DV: A please to the eye, wouldn´t you ssssay Morbou..OW! ::covers his mouth with a paw::

M: What´s up doc?

DV: ::bends head and chuckles:: I…I bit myself in the tongue…

M: Ouch! ::snickers::

DV: ::cracks up and looks on camera:: Ha ha….I´m sorry! Do you know how hard it is to speak when you hiss, all the time??

Director: CUT! We´ll take that over again.

KS: ::clenches stomach:: Oh, was THAT great, or was THAT great? Let´s take another, shall we?

DC: I agree fully. Here´s another from the final scene of “The Giant Bacteria.”

::The Turbokat crashes through the wall in the lab and smacks Viper up against a wall with some katalyst-tubes. The canopy opens and T-Bone jumps out but trips on the wing and he lands on the floor::

TB: Ouff! ::Viper comes over and helps him up::

DV: We´d better take that over again. ::they all begin to laugh::

DIRECTOR: CUT!

TB: Sorry, chief! But it´s hard to jump around in baggy pants like these!

DC: Oh, that´s gotta hurt! He he. Well, let´s take some from the fanfics shall we?

KS: You got that, Dingo. but first after these messages.

::commercials runs. Then we return to THE SK-BS::

::KS and Dingo still sits in their chairs::

DC: Hi everyone. We´re back…

KS: …with more bloops for you to laugh at.

DC: So let´s get started shall we?

KS: Right away. And here is a failed clip from Glen Battilanas: “Torment.”

::We see the “zombiefied” Dr. Viper, T-bone tied up and the witch from GB´s torment trilogy::

TB: Viper, why are you working for this lady, hey? I thought Dr. Viper plays second fiddle to no one?

::Viper gives a small grin in reply and then snaps out after T-Bone, and accidentally bite him in the nose::

TB:YOW!

W: I said *WAIT*! What is it with men! They never listen! ::shoves up with her arms in a “sheesh!” attitude. Viper clenches his mouth snickering like crazy::

DV: I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I´m sorry!!!

TB: Ouch! I dink you gave me a dosebneed.

DIRECTOR: CUT!

KS: ::laughs:: Oh, good lord!

DC: Okay, enough with that one for now. Here´s one from C.L Furlongs fic “The SWAT Kats Final Resistance: Part 1,” where Callie can´t get a proper drink.

::we see Jake offer Callie a can of milk::

J: I can get you a glass if you want.

C: No thanks. I prefer it straight from the can, if you don´t mind. ::Jake shakes head and opens his can with his thumb-claw. Callie tries as well, but can´t open it::

C: DANG! OPEN YOU..*censured* CAN!! ::Jake cracks up and Callie looks helplessly at the director::

C: Help me someone?

DIRECTOR: CUT! We´ll try that again.

::take 2. Jake has opened his can and Callie manage as well. Then she pulls in the can but…::

DIRECTOR: What is it now!??

C: It´s my claw! Arg! It´s stu-hu-huck! ::cracks up and Jake comes over and helps her::

J: We´ll have to do that again!

DIRECTOR: CUT!

KS: Oh lord, she should have thought of a manicure, before THAT scene! ::laughs::

DC: Indeed. But how about we take some more episodes now?

KS: You got it. And here is a failed scene from “Destructive Nature” that proves that Mayor Manx ain´t THAT good at golf!

::we see Manx stand on a golf-field and sees the smoke from MegaKat towers.::

MM: *gasp* what tha… ::swings golf-club and misses the ball, looses his balance and lands on his tail::

MM: ::cracks up:: I guess I´ll have to get a course. ::they all laugh and Mr. Young helps him up::

DC: I agree fully! ::laughs::

KS: ::turns to camera and shrugs:: Sorry people. But that´s all for now. Join us next time the author has a bored period in:

DC: Da DA DAAA!!!!

BOTH: THE SWAT KATS BLOOP SHOW!!!

——————————

So, what will it be? Roses and diamonds, or stinkbombs and flames? Your choice.

to be continued?

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