The SWAT Kats Bloop Show

(voice): Greetings everyone! And welcome to the SWAT KATS “bloop” show. Here´re your hosts: KS Claw aaaaand Dingo Chargher!

::applause as KS Claw, a 15-year old she-kat with stripes on cheeks and arms, enters the studio together with DingoChargher, her 19 year old sister::

KS: Hi Everybody! I´m KS Claw! ::bows to the extra applause::

DC: And I´m Dingo Chargher! ::bows as well::

BOTH: And welcome to the SWATKATS “Bloop” show! ::both bow under the applause and cheering::

::KS and Dingo settle down in some chairs and Dingo begins::

DC: So KS, you’ve just come from the Amazon in Brazil? Cause it looks like your hair´s been through a jungle! ::laughter from audience::

KS: Why yes! I just got a flight home on one of the Pastmaster’s zombie-dragons, and when we reached here, he was DEAD-tired! ::more laughter::

::KS turns to the camera::

KS: Well anyway, we haven´t come here to fire off lousy jokes, so why don´t we just start…

DC: THE SWAT KATS “BLOOP” SHOW!!!!

KS: Exactly, Dingo. And you know what it means?

DC: We will get to see the failed clips which were never shown!

KS: On “SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron” and in the SWATKAT fanfics!! Which is why it´s called:

BOTH: THE SWAT KATS “BLOOP” SHOW! ::cheering from the audience::

DC: Here is one from the very first episode of the first season. From “The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice.” ::DC and KS turn to big screen where the two graverobbers are digging on a old cemetary and now are about to drag up the Pastmaster’s chest::

GR1: Oh cripes, it´s heavy! Oops! ::drops the chest which lands on the other graverobber’s foot::

GR2: YIIHAAAOOOUUUW!!! ::jumps around clenching one foot cursing and swearing, while the other one laughs::

GR1: Oh god, I´m sorry! ::cracks up and looks on camera while laughing:: I…it just slipped from me!::keeps on laughing::

KS: Oh, that was an absolute classic! DC: Yeah. I still get stomach ache from watching that one!

KS: Well, here is another clip from “The Giant Bacteria,” in which the good Dr. Viper… has some mouth problems.

::we see Morboulus and Viper in the doc´s lab::

M: So…this is the legendary Dr. Viper’s laboratory.

DV: A please to the eye, wouldn´t you ssssay Morbou..OW! ::covers his mouth with a paw::

M: What´s up doc?

DV: ::bends head and chuckles:: I…I bit myself in the tongue…

M: Ouch! ::snickers::

DV: ::cracks up and looks on camera:: Ha ha….I´m sorry! Do you know how hard it is to speak when you hiss, all the time??

Director: CUT! We´ll take that over again.

KS: ::clenches stomach:: Oh, was THAT great, or was THAT great? Let´s take another, shall we?

DC: I agree fully. Here´s another from the final scene of “The Giant Bacteria.”

::The Turbokat crashes through the wall in the lab and smacks Viper up against a wall with some katalyst-tubes. The canopy opens and T-Bone jumps out but trips on the wing and he lands on the floor::

TB: Ouff! ::Viper comes over and helps him up::

DV: We´d better take that over again. ::they all begin to laugh::

DIRECTOR: CUT!

TB: Sorry, chief! But it´s hard to jump around in baggy pants like these!

DC: Oh, that´s gotta hurt! He he. Well, let´s take some from the fanfics shall we?

KS: You got that, Dingo. but first after these messages.

::commercials runs. Then we return to THE SK-BS::

::KS and Dingo still sits in their chairs::

DC: Hi everyone. We´re back…

KS: …with more bloops for you to laugh at.

DC: So let´s get started shall we?

KS: Right away. And here is a failed clip from Glen Battilanas: “Torment.”

::We see the “zombiefied” Dr. Viper, T-bone tied up and the witch from GB´s torment trilogy::

TB: Viper, why are you working for this lady, hey? I thought Dr. Viper plays second fiddle to no one?

::Viper gives a small grin in reply and then snaps out after T-Bone, and accidentally bite him in the nose::

TB:YOW!

W: I said *WAIT*! What is it with men! They never listen! ::shoves up with her arms in a “sheesh!” attitude. Viper clenches his mouth snickering like crazy::

DV: I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I´m sorry!!!

TB: Ouch! I dink you gave me a dosebneed.

DIRECTOR: CUT!

KS: ::laughs:: Oh, good lord!

DC: Okay, enough with that one for now. Here´s one from C.L Furlongs fic “The SWAT Kats Final Resistance: Part 1,” where Callie can´t get a proper drink.

::we see Jake offer Callie a can of milk::

J: I can get you a glass if you want.

C: No thanks. I prefer it straight from the can, if you don´t mind. ::Jake shakes head and opens his can with his thumb-claw. Callie tries as well, but can´t open it::

C: DANG! OPEN YOU..*censured* CAN!! ::Jake cracks up and Callie looks helplessly at the director::

C: Help me someone?

DIRECTOR: CUT! We´ll try that again.

::take 2. Jake has opened his can and Callie manage as well. Then she pulls in the can but…::

DIRECTOR: What is it now!??

C: It´s my claw! Arg! It´s stu-hu-huck! ::cracks up and Jake comes over and helps her::

J: We´ll have to do that again!

DIRECTOR: CUT!

KS: Oh lord, she should have thought of a manicure, before THAT scene! ::laughs::

DC: Indeed. But how about we take some more episodes now?

KS: You got it. And here is a failed scene from “Destructive Nature” that proves that Mayor Manx ain´t THAT good at golf!

::we see Manx stand on a golf-field and sees the smoke from MegaKat towers.::

MM: *gasp* what tha… ::swings golf-club and misses the ball, looses his balance and lands on his tail::

MM: ::cracks up:: I guess I´ll have to get a course. ::they all laugh and Mr. Young helps him up::

DC: I agree fully! ::laughs::

KS: ::turns to camera and shrugs:: Sorry people. But that´s all for now. Join us next time the author has a bored period in:

DC: Da DA DAAA!!!!

BOTH: THE SWAT KATS BLOOP SHOW!!!

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So, what will it be? Roses and diamonds, or stinkbombs and flames? Your choice.

to be continued?