Dear FF readers:
Well, it was bound to happen someday, by some FanFic author, why not me? Eek was just *begging* to be put in a SWAT Kat crossover!!!
Before I go (and hide, knowing some FF reader or another is going to hunt me down for this) I’d like to plug a GREAT crossover story – Strike’s SWAT Kat/Scooby-Doo story. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life……well…..I have, but that’s not the point!!! The point is read it or earn my dissatisfaction forever! ((not that you really care….hmm….))
I wouldn’t have submitted this for months more if DJ hadn’t been supremely bored in the hospital – so DJ, this is for you. ?
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” The small purple cat screamed as he fell from yet another great height, waving his little arms and trying in vain to defy gravity. Suddenly he stopped yelling – and stopped falling for some reason. “Hmm….screaming sure works up a thrist!”
The cat pulled a bottle of soda called “Squishy Bears Root Beer” from behind his back and drank it quickly, then pulled a trashcan from an unseen place to drop it in. “It never hurts to help.” The cat said, then looked down to realise that he was hovering in mid-air. He began screaming again and immediatley lost whatever control over gravity he had displayed. The trashcan and the soda bottle fell with him.
“Razor! Do you see THAT????” a buff tawny kat asked, his paws clutching at his controls and his deep voice betraying his surprise.
“Of COURSE I see it, T-Bone!” the short brown kat returned, his voice showing simular astonishment as the two stared at a small purple cat drinking a soda in midair – without the aid of any type of aircraft.
They sat in their jet called the TurboKat and let their mouths hang open. Not that anykat would see them. The SWAT Kats, vigilantes of Megakat City, were far above the range of jets and other aircraft the likes of the Enforcers could send to follow them. They were even more surprised when the cat put his trash in a trashcan and then fell again.
Quickly, T-Bone let their altitude drop and was rewarded soon by the solid thump on the TurboKat’s canopy. Razor looked up to check out how their new passenger was doing, only to be discusted by the way the small purple cat’s face had flattened. “Uh…T-Bone…”
“I’m landing, I’m landing…” His friend muttered back and proceded to do just that. In an open field with Megakat City still in view, the SWAT Kats peeled the cat from their canopy.
“Gee, thanks! That sure was a wild ride! I sure hope Annabelle won’t be too worried when I don’t make it for dinner….”
“Annabelle?” T-Bone asked, cautiously, eyeing the cat that was an unlikely shade of purple and even shorter than Razor – and NOKAT was shorter than Razor, or so the story went.
“My girlfriend! Want to see pictures of her?” Without waiting for their answer, the cat pulled his wallet from his backpocket – or the approximation of one since he wasn’t wearing any clothes. Shapshots unfolded from the wallet in a steady stream and the SWAT Kats soon found a few in their paws.
Both made a face and tried to hide it. The photos were all of a giant pink girl cat. “She’s uh….fat.” One of them said, not even WANTING to say it – but was forced to by some unseen power.
The purple cat tilted his head, stared at a picture and said, “Really?”
“Er…..not to intrude, but why were you…falling?” Razor asked.
“Oh. Sharky accidentally stuffed me in a cannon and shot me over here. ”
“Wha-?” T-Bone and Razor looked at each other, identical expressions of puzzlement on their faces.
“Sharky the Shark Dog – Annabelle’s pet. I’m Eek, who are you?” The cat actually seemed not to know who they were, so they shrugged and obliged him.
“We’re the SWAT Kats, I’m T-Bone, he’s Razor.”
“You’re…..evil super villians??” Eek asked cautiously.
“No, vigilantes,” Razor clarified.
“Oh! Since I’m in the city and all, I guess I should go see my Uncle Edgar, wanna see a picture?” Eek pulled a snapshot from his wallet and shoved it into their faces.
T-Bone took the photo from Eek and looked at it. “DARK KAT!” The two exclaimed.
“Is something wrong?” Eek asked.
“Your Uncle Edgar is a psycho evil madman who wants to take over Megakat City and kill us in the process!”
****In yet another place****
“Mwahahahahahahhaaaa!” Dark Kat mwahaha-ed evily. He paused, tilted his head and did it again. “Mwah-ha-ha-haaaa!” He gazed off for a few seconds and again, “Mwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! — Kreeplings you imbiciles! Stop moving the mirror! How am I going to practice if I can’t see how evil I look?”
The pink and purple and green creatures made their creepy noises and kept still, though they were trying their hardest not to giggle again. Not that Dark Kat knew the difference. They giggled all the time at his incompitence at capturing the SWAT Kats or destroying Enforcer Headquarters, and he didn’t seem to notice that their giggles weren’t mindless evil laughs, but directed towards him.
Dark Kat finally motioned for them to put away the mirror. He’d done his twenty minutes of evil laughter a day AND his fifteen minutes of evil glares, just like his personal instructor required. Now was time for his weekly ‘try to destroy Megakat City’ attempt. He put his paw into a glass bowl and drew out a card.
“Evil Plot #290: Use your clueless nephew to bring a bomb into the mayor’s office and blow the mayor and deputy mayor sky high,” he read. “Heh…..I love that one…”
****Back to the second place****
“Uhm….Eek…..we were wondering if we could give you a lift home….” Razor said after he and T-Bone had exchanged ‘are you thinking what I’m thinking’ looks.
Eek put a finger to his mouth and considered. “I’m not supposed to take rides from strangers….”
“But we wear uniforms! You’re supposed to trust uniforms!” T-Bone urged. A postal kat in uniform runs across the scenery behind them with a huge gun and mad laughter as he heads towards a water tower. “Oops….” he added softly.
****Above that someplace else in a BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
“There he is my kreeplings! Get my nephew from those pesky SWAT Kats!” Dark Kat ordered in his strange deep voice. The kreeplings giggled to each other and did his bidding.
****Under the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
The SWAT Kats heard the sounds of a BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™ too late. They looked up in unison and growled. “It’s a BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™! Figures that we’re a hundred yards from the TurboKat!”
“Wow! MegaKat City has some trasportation service!” Eek said innocently. A dozen or so kreeplings grabbed him and started flying him up to the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™. “They even escort you inside!” he called down, pleased. A hatch closed behind him.
“Let’s move!” The SWAT Kats declared and high tailed it to the TurboKat.
“Crud….we lost ’em….” T-Bone muttered after a chase sequence through the city buildings.
“At least we’re not stuck with Eek,” Razor said, always seeing the bright side.
****In the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
“Wow Uncle Edgar! You sure have a neat place! I betcha throw lotsa parties and have lots of friends!” Eek said, pressing yet another button.
“KREEPLINGS! Restain my nephew!”
****in Mayor Manx’s office****
“Cal-lay…..there seems to be a bit of a prob-lam….” Mayor Manx whined.
“What is it Mayor?” Deputy Mayor Callie Briggs asked, concerned, as she entered his office.
“A BIG BAD AH-RSHIP THING-AY (t-em) is heading this way!” The Mayor promptly slung his golf bag over his shoulder, held onto his toupee and scrambled from the room.
“Ye-ah!” Callie screamed, and ran after the Mayor, digging in her purse for the com-link.
****In the skies above Megakat City****
“What is it, Miss Briggs?” T-Bone growled, still upset that they hadn’t spotted Dark Kat’s BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™.
“A BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™ is headed towards Mayor Manx’s office…..and it looks like it’s a collision course! We’re evacuating now!”
“Roger that, Miss Briggs!” T-Bone accelerated and headed towards the mentioned building.
****In the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
“Don’t cry Uncle Edgar, I didn’t _mean_ to destroy the control panel…..”
****By the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
“There it is! And Callie’s right, it IS on a collision course with the building!” Razor exclaimed.
“Well, let’s see if we can move it!” T-Bone decided. Seconds later, several cables shot from the TurboKat and wrapped around the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™. T-Bone pulled back and they dragged it out of the city limits, much to the relief of all the property owners in the city, and the disappointment of the construction companies.
****Inside the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
Eek patted his uncle’s shoulder as Dark Kat laid his head on a desk and banged his fists against it, crying. “I didn’t even get to _threaten_ the deputy mayor! What a cruddy day! The SWAT Kats weren’t even incovienienced! They solved the problem the first time instead of taking the proscribed three tries! Why? Why? Why?”
“There, there, Uncle Edgar. You’ll get to destroy the city next week….”
“OUT! OUT! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO FOILED MY PLANS! KREEPLINGS!”
****Outside the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™****
“Let’s move!” The SWAT Kats said, trying to get inside. A hatch opened for them, much to their surprise, and they were thrown several hundred feet back. A small ball of purple fur had knocked into them. “EEK!” They yelled.
“Oh, hello! My uncle had to escape. You know the drill,” Eek remarked, and pointed as the BIG BAD AIRSHIP THINGY ™ lifted off.
The SWAT Kats looked at each other, surprised, then, as one, they reached behind their backs and pulled out scripts.
“HEY!” Razor cried out, jabbing the approximate middle of the page he had randomly turned to as he was flipping through. “It says here that you destroyed the control panel! How did he-?”
Eek shrugged. “I’m just the comic relief. I don’t write the script. Talk to…” he pulled his copy of the script from behind HIS back. “Chella,” he read.
The SWAT Kats look into a random spot where they figure the imaginary camera is. “Hey! You can’t do that! You were specific!”
A note floats down from the sky and lands at their feet. T-Bone picks it up and reads aloud. “Yeah, but I’m me, so it doesn’t count. `Chella.”
“Oh….well, that’s okay then,” Razor said. He and T-Bone exchanged looks. “How about you do us a favor then?”
****well, you’ll get where this is later, just read on!****
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” Eek screamed, falling from the TurboKat at an speed so fast it was amazing that he hadn’t burst into flames.
A baseball stadium grew larger and larger. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Eek yelled with more emphasis. A man in the stands looked up and did a double take.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” the man screamed.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Eek confirmed.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” the man remarked.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Eek replied.
“Whu-oh!” the man said as Eek’s shadow covered him.
Eek peeled himself off of the man and looked down to offer his paw. “Hello! I’m Eek! Who are you?”
The man picked himself up and dusted himself off. “Ted Turner…”
“Oh……OH! You mean tED tURNER! The SWAT Kats said they wanted me to drop in on you…..didn’t know they meant literally….”
(The Author narrates)
And so….Eek was put in tED tURNER’s care…..forever! MWAAHAHAHAA! (And, if you were wondering, I AM Dark Kat’s personal trainer. ;0)
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Disclaimer: SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron is copyright to Hanna-Barbera Cartoons Inc. All Rights Reserved. © 1995. All other characters and material within this page are the property of their respective creators.