Original SWAT Kats Story

The Venus Series: Razor’s Split Personality

By Kari Gilmore

  • 1 Chapter
  • 8,043 Words

T-Bone’s latest nightmare about failing the SWAT Kats frightens him enough to quit the team. Little does he know that by them, his dream will become reality.

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Chapter 1:

At a hotel room in Downtown MegaKat City, Tigera was looking through her suitcase for a small box. She opened the box up and found a golden heart-shaped locket with a picture of her and Chance Furlong taken when they were in high school.

“I feel so guilty. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this a secret from him. I don’t know. Maybe I should get some advice. Or at least tell somebody,” she said, putting the necklace around her neck and tucking it into her shirt. Meanwhile at Jake and Chance’s Garage, Katarina was at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. Then she heard a knock on the door. She got up and went to the door. She opened it to find Tigera on the other side.

“Hi, Tigera. Uh, Chance isn’t here.”

“Actually, I need a little girl-to-girl chat with you, Kat. I need some advice,” Tigera said. Kat invited her to come inside for some milk at the table. Tigera sat down and took a sip of milk as Kat brought her some.

“So, what is it that you want to talk to me about?” Kat asked.

“Well, Chance told you that we broke up because we both had been with someone else the night before, right?” Kat nodded.

“Well, I never told him who it was. Before I tell you this, you gotta swear, not a word of this to Chance.” Kat nodded, and pulled an imaginary zipper across her mouth and gave her a salute. Tigera chuckled, then her face grew very serious.

“OK, the truth is… I was with one of the Swat Kats the other night, the one called T-Bone.” Kat’s eyes widened.

“You were with a what?!” she whispered.

“You heard, the Swat Kat T-Bone. Well, the story was that the Swat Kats were being pulled into a portal and I was along to help, but then I ended up being pulled into the portal with them. We ended up in another dimension where there were life forms called humans. You don’t believe a word of this, do you?” Kat put her paw behind her back and crossed her fingers.

“Not really, but go ahead. This is better than television,” she said.

“Well, some creatures called the Metallikats were there and they had teamed up with the human. We escaped them and found out that we were underwater! Luckily, they had the Cyclotrons and they switched to sub-mode. When we had reached the surface, the humans terrorized us. We quickly got away through the sewers where we met some creatures called the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. After we teamed up with them, I got out of the sewer after saying I didn’t want to go back where we got out of that portal to get back home. T-Bone went after me and we had a little talk. Eventually, we got a little carried away.”

“You mean you…” Tigera nodded.

“Well, there’s not much left after that. We beat that human and the Metallikats and we used their portal to return home. And now, we’re in a relationship. What do you think I should do?”

“Does T-Bone feel the same way about you?”

“Oh, yeah. We love each other. Still, he doesn’t know who I really am.”

“I think you should tell him, very soon. You can’t have a relationship if you keep these kinds of secrets from each other. Maybe you should talk to Chance–”

“No! Stripes can’t know anything about this! Kat, please, don’t say a word about this to Stripes. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Thank you. Well, I gotta get going. See you later.” Then Tigera left. Chance was right. Tigera *is* Venus, and visa versa. Should I tell him? No, a promise is a promise, Katarina, Kat thought to herself. Then her watch started beeping. She pushed a button and heard T-Bone’s voice on the other end.

“Kat 3 here. I’m lucky you didn’t call five seconds sooner.”

“We had a customer?” T-Bone asked.

“Actually, Tigera was here. What’s the problem?”

“We could use some back up down at the Museum of History ASAP, Kat 3! Do you copy?”

“Roger that. Kat 3 is on the way!” She rushed down to the hangar and opened her locker. She zipped up her G-suit, buckled up her parachute cord, pulled on her gloves, pulled on her boots, put on her sword necklace, tied her mask on her face, and put her helmet on top of her head. She jumped on the Cyclotron and drove off. Outside of the museum, two saber-tooth tigers were mauling T-Bone and Razor.

“Man, where’s Venus when we need her?!” T-Bone asked. Then the tiger howled and ran off. Venus appeared with her paw sizzling.

“Speak of the devil.”

Venus blew on her paw and said, “I may be mortal, but I’m still a god.” Then Quiver appeared, doing a wheely on the Cyclotron. She fired the cement cannons and trapped the second saber-tooth tiger in cement.

“Thanks, Quiver. I knew we should’ve brought you along,” Razor said, dusting himself off. Quiver parked the Cyclotron and joined him and T-Bone and Venus.

“Ah, but if I came along, who’d be around to save your tails again? I mean, besides Venus?” Quiver asked. Then Dr. Sinian appeared and looked at the saber-tooth tiger trapped in the cement.

“You don’t think the Pastmaster is back, do you?” Razor asked.

“He’s the only person who has the power,” Dr. Sinian replied. “I thought he was trapped in the Katchu Picchu Ruins,” Quiver said.

“Yeah, if it wasn’t the lava he fell into, it was the rubble,” T-Bone said. Quiver stroked her chin and then widened her eyes.

“I just realized something. The Pastmaster isn’t the only person who can bring the dead to life.”

“You know, that’s true. There is a spell book that had about the same power as the Pastmaster’s watch. It was called–” Dr. Sinian began.

“The Weapon of the Stars,” Quiver said, pulling out her spell book.

“Exactly. But you didn’t use it on the tigers, did you?”

“I’ve never used the life spell before. And I’m just getting the hang of this book.” Suddenly, the wind started to blow.

“Funny, the weatherkat didn’t say we were going to have a tornado,” Venus said as the wind grew stronger. T-Bone looked up at the sky to see a portal opening.

“Looks like a vortex is opening up, Razor! You think Shredder and Krang found a way into our universe?” he asked.

“That’s not their portal, T-Bone! And it’s not the Pastmaster’s either!” Razor said. Suddenly, two jets flew out of the portal with an enforcer chopper close behind.

“What in the hell?! Those look like the TurboKats!” Venus said. The enforcer chopper fired at both of the jets and brought them down to the ground, near the group.

“It couldn’t be,” Razor said. The first jet’s cockpit opened up.

“Once again, your flying got us caught, T-Bone!”

“Ah, shut up and get out of my jet, Razor!”

“It is!” T-Bone and Razor both said. Three figures jumped out of the first jet. They looked like T-Bone, Razor, and Quiver, only slightly bigger and meaner.

“The Evil Swat Kats! There’s the answer to our question, boys. The Evil Quiver did the life spell,” Quiver said.

“Well, well, Kats. Look who it is. It’s our old friends who almost killed us,” Evil T-Bone said, cracking his knuckles.

“I thought they blew up when Dark Kat’s bomb got stuck in their bomb bays,” Razor said.

“Apparently, you forgot about ejector seats,” Evil Razor said. Then the enforcer chopper landed.

“Damn it. Just what we needed,” Evil Quiver said as an enforcer stepped out of the chopper.

“Holy kats! It’s… Jettona!” T-Bone said. Jettona was dressed as an enforcer with her helmet visors down.

“Now, are you going to come with willingly, or do I have to use the tranquilizer on you again?” she asked, taking off her gloves.

“Well, Lt. Shorthair, we’ll have to say… Good-bye!” T-Bone fired a mini-megaton and shot it at Jettona. She jumped out of the way to let the missile hit the side of her chopper. She shot out fire out of her fingers. She smacked the Evil Quiver back into the first jet.

“Boulder, Shera! Get your tails out here now!” she hissed. Then, two other Swat Kats jumped out of the second jet. They both looked like Boulder and Shera, only bigger and meaner.

“What do you think, Kats?” T-Bone asked.

“I think Evil T-Bone and Razor need to shave,” Quiver said.

“No! I mean, should we help Jettona?”

“Let’s see. She’s from an alternate dimension where most of the good guys were bad and did you see any bad guys on their best behavior?”

“Now that you mention it, no,” Razor said.

“Ah, what the hell? She *is* my little sister. We might as well save her,” Venus said, taking out her bow and arrow. She loaded the arrow on the string and released it. The arrow hit Evil T-Bone’s spiked glovatrix and started burning. The glovatrix started to melt. He quickly pulled it off.

“What in the–?” Jettona asked, turning her head to see a new group of Swat Kats.

“Another set of Swat Kats? I must need glasses.”

“Sorry we can’t stick around, Lt. But we got havoc to cause,” Shera said, jumping into one of the jets.

“Damn it! They’re getting away!” Quiver said. Both jets then flew into the air and disappeared out of sight. Jettona raised her visors and took a second look at the Swat Kats.

“Comm. Feral told me that there were such a thing as good Swat Kats, but I didn’t think it was real.”

“It’s real, believe it or not. We just can’t believe that the other dimension’s Jettona is an enforcer,” Razor said.

“You mean in this dimension, I’m evil?” Jettona asked. The Swat Kats nodded.

“What am I doing? I need to get after those other Swat Kats. They’re on their way to Pumadyne.”

“Pumadyne? *Again*? If I was in charge of the damn place, it would be closed in a New York minute for all the dangerous toys it makes,” T-Bone said.

“That makes two of us. Oh, damn it,” Jettona said, looking at her chopper. The mini megaton had blasted the side of her chopper.

“That’s the fifth chopper those Kats have wrecked this month. Even a Daughter of Satan has her off days.”

“It’s probably not safe for you to go after them anyway, Jettona. You’re on the ‘Ten Most Wanted’ list in this dimension. Maybe you should let us handle our deadly doubles,” Razor said.

“Hmm, maybe you’re right. You *did* take care of them before in our dimension, you’ll be able to handle them in your own dimension,” Jettona said.

“I’ll take care of her while you go after the other Swat Kats,” Dr. Sinian said as she stepped forward. T-Bone nodded and he and Razor jumped into the TurboKat. Quiver got onto her Cyclotron with Venus behind her.

“Question, T-Bone: where do we start looking for them? It’s not like they’re in the book,” Venus said.

“She has a point, T-Bone,” Quiver said. T-Bone stroked his chin.

“Hmm, what do you think, lil’ bro?”

“Well, this is just a hunch, but like Jettona said, they might have gone to Pumadyne to steal some weapons,” Razor replied.

“Sounds reasonable enough to me. We’ll pick up Boulder and Shera and get going.” The TurboKat rose into the air as the Cyclotron pulled onto the street. At Pumadyne, the Evil Swat Kats were emptying the vault full of weapons and putting them into bags.

“This dimension is pathetic! It’s easier to rob than ours!” Evil T-Bone said.

“Ah, but where’s the fun in this? It’s too easy. I’d feel better if we had just a little bit of trouble from our goody-two shoes look-a-likes,” Evil Quiver said.

“He-yah!” a voice shouted. A flying foot kicked Evil Quiver in the face.

“Your lipstick is screwed, Missy,” Quiver said, putting her foot on Evil Quiver’s chest.

“I hope you’re happy, sis,” Evil T-Bone said, taking out a gun from the bag.

“Shut the hell up!” Just as Evil T-Bone was about to fire the gun, the weapon melted in his paws. He dropped it and growled.

“Damn god. Don’t stand there, you jerks! Do something!”

“Go choke on a furball, T-Bone! We’ll get her!” Evil Boulder said as he and Evil Shera rushed out of the vault. They looked around to find the office was emptied.

“Venus is around here somewhere,” Evil Shera said. They heard a whistle and looked up. They saw Boulder and Shera on the ceiling, hanging on by their claws dug into the ceiling. Then they jumped onto both Evil Swat Kats.

“Venus wasn’t available, but we’re just as good,” Boulder said. Then Quiver flew into the room. She then crashed into one of the office desks.

“What happened to you?” Shera asked.

“Evil T-Bone packs a pretty mean punch!” Quiver said, wiping the trickle of blood away from her mouth. The rest of the Evil Swat Kats entered the office and the bags of weapons hanging over their shoulders.

“Let’s get ’em!” Evil T-Bone said, tossing the bag aside and charging towards the other Swat Kats. Then, they were tied up by some bolas, launched by T-Bone and Razor’s glovatrixes.

“You think this was going to hold us for very long?” Evil T-Bone asked. Evil Quiver extended her claws and cut the ropes.

“Spread out!” T-Bone shouted. Both sets of Swat Kats spread out throughout the room. They paired off with each other; T-Bone with T-Bone, Razor with Razor, ect. Actually, Evil T-Bone had both T-Bone and Venus to fight with. Evil T-Bone swung his sword at both and they somersaulted to avoid it. Evil Quiver threw her stars at the wall. They bounced off and came toward Quiver. She ducked as they came within inches of her chest. They only cut off a small piece of her hair. Evil Boulder and Shera fought together to fight Boulder and Shera. They threw their boomerang and daggers at them. They responded by throwing their boomerang and daggers. They both knocked each other out of the air. Evil Razor and Razor were trying to strangle each other. They eventually ended up crashing into a control panel. Sparks started flying and they started to get electrified. They Kats, both sets, stopped fighting when they saw both Razor being shocked. When the sparks stopped, both Kats were out cold.

“Razor, you stupid!” Evil T-Bone growled, picking up Evil Razor and throwing him over his shoulder.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Venus asked, blocking the exit. Evil Boulder took out a smoke bomb and threw it on the ground. The room filled with smoke. The Swat Kats started coughing as the Evil Swat Kats escaped. As the smoke clear, Venus was on the her knees, gasping.

“Venus, are you OK?” T-Bone asked, walking over to her and helping her back to her feet.

“That’s some powerful gas. And it didn’t bother any of you?” Venus asked. Each of the Kats chattered about the gas not affecting them. Venus sniffed the air.

“I know that scent. It’s smoke mixed with a deadly poison; poison that can kill even a god– hind’s blood.”

“Hind’s blood? But hinds are myths. They’re not real,” Quiver said.

“You mean, not *alive*. The gods are real. They are still alive, but in disguise in all parts of the world. Zeus, the King of the Gods, killed the hinds because he feared their blood, which is strong enough to kill a god. Apparently, someone was foolish enough to collect some blood of whatever hinds were left, and that was a very few.”

“Could this stuff kill mortals?” Boulder asked.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t kill mortals as fast as gods. And, I’m still one.” Then they heard a moan from behind them. Razor rubbed his head as he started to get back to his feet.

“Razor, are you all right?” T-Bone asked.

“Uh, yeah. I guess so,” Razor replied, coughing.

“Let’s get him home,” Quiver said. T-Bone glared at Venus, who glared back.

“I just want to let you know, T-Bone, I’m planning to tell you who I am soon,” Venus said.

“All right. Well, until we see each other again, Venus. Could be pretty soon since the Evil Swat Kats are around.” Then Venus left.

“You need some help, Razor?” Shera asked.

“No, thanks. I think I can make it,” Razor replied. As they left the room, Quiver was thinking to herself. Razor’s voice sounds a little rougher than usual. Maybe it’s just because of the shock. I’m sure he’ll sound normal in the morning.

Chapter 2:

In the underground tunnels of MegaKat City, the Evil Swat Kats were using an old underground lab as a hideout. Evil T-Bone tapped his foot furiously and crossed his arms.

“Quiver, are you done with that scanning yet?” he asked.

“Shut up, T-Bone. This thing is a piece of crap. I’m just grateful it works at all,” Evil Quiver replied.

“Why are we using that scanner anyway?” Evil Shera asked, filing her nails with a giant file.

“To check the damages on Razor, you blonde. Ah, finally.” Quiver tore off the piece of paper that came out of the computer and looked at it.

“Hmm, interesting.”

“What’s so interesting about a couple of burns?” Evil Boulder asked, looking over Quiver’s shoulder. Quiver turned her eyes over to him and slammed the back of her right fist into his face.

“I’m not interested about a couple of burns, Boulder. It’s the brain pattern that has my attention.” She took out another piece of paper from her backpack and compared the two.

“This is Razor’s brain scan from a couple of weeks ago. And here’s the one from a couple of seconds ago. See the difference?” T-Bone and Shera looked.

“So?” T-Bone shrugged.

“So, my dodo of a brother, if my theory is correct, when Razor and that other Razor crashed into that control panel, the electricity was so powerful, it caused their brains to transmit.”

“OK, meaning…?”

“They switched bodies. So we got their Razor…”

“And they got ours,” Shera said.


“So, what are we going to do with their Razor?” Boulder asked.

“Put him in a holding cell until I think of something,” T-Bone said. Meanwhile back with the other Kats, they had just returned to the hangar. Razor sat down on a cot and sighed.

“Are you sure you’re all right, Razor?” T-Bone asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, T-Bone. I just need some time to rest,” Razor replied.

“All right. We’ll be running the obstacle course if you need us.” Then the Kats left. Why are they being so nice to me? They usually treat me like shit whenever I get hurt. And I’ve had worse than a few shocks. Hmm, and I thought we were in those goody-two shoes Swat Kats’ dimension. Hey, I think I *am.* The hangar is too clean to be home, Razor thought. He got up from the cot and walked up to a mirror. He looked at himself. He noticed that his G-suit had changed. It wasn’t as dark as it usually was. One the arms, there was a red triangle instead of a red kat head. Then he looked at his face. His ears weren’t chipped, his chin wasn’t as spiky, and his fur was a lighter brown. Also, his helmet had a red triangle on the front instead of a green skull. I must’ve switched bodies with that other Razor! But how? Hmm, whatever happened, I may be able to take these Kats down from the inside. What the–? He heard a buzzing noise in his head.

“Razor, where are you?” Evil Quiver’s voice asked.

“I’m in the other Swat Kats’ hangar. They think I’m their Razor,” Razor replied. “Good. Keep making them think that. We have their Razor and we’re taking him to the Katchu Picchu Ruins.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, the Katchu Picchu Ruins is rubble now.”

“Not all of it. Now, we want you to tell them that–”


“Ugh! What?!”

“How would I know all this if I told them?”

“Just tell them that I spoke with you in thought and that I gave you this information. Quiver out.” Then Evil Quiver’s voice disappeared.

“Sometimes, I hate it when she does that,” Razor said, rubbing his head. Back with the other Swat Kats, Razor was finally coming into conciseness.

“Well, it’s about time you came around,” Evil Shera said. Razor took off his helmet and rubbed his head. He took a look at his helmet. Instead of a red triangle, there was a green skull.

“What the–?” he asked himself.

“That’s right, Razor. You and our Razor switched bodies. Your Swat Kats are going to be in a *world* of trouble when we lead them to the Katchu Picchu Ruins,” Evil Quiver said, gripping onto the bars of Razor’s holding cell.

“What do you want there? There’s nothing left but rubble,” Razor said, watching Boulder and Shera circling the cell.

“Not quite. You see, deep within the pyramid of Katchu Picchu, is a room that contains a poison that can kill gods, including Venus and Lt. Jettona Shorthair– hind’s blood.”

“There’s no such thing as hind’s blood. Science has showed–”

“Did science say that there are universes with a series of species? Did science say that they’re all the same? Did science say that gods are myths? Science is a fool, Razor.” Razor knew all this was true. His encounter with Jettona, Venus, and the human universe have proven that science was wrong.

“Once you get the hind’s blood, then what? You can kill mortals with it, but you can kill them in a thousand different ways,” Razor said.

“Both you and our Razor are stupid. We don’t want to kill mere mortals. We want to kill the gods of the world. See, when you kill a god, you gain their powers,” T-Bone said.

“Oh, so if you killed Aphrodite, you’d be the Swat Kat of love.”

“You got the right idea, but who wants Aphrodite’s powers? We’re talking about Ares, Poseidon, Zeus, Hades, and Satan! We want the powerful gods!” Boulder said.

“Like you can actually have all of their powers and enough hind’s blood,” Razor said.

“Ah, but that’s the beauty of hind’s blood, Razor. You only need a little bit of blood to kill the gods,” Quiver said.

“Venus has already had a taste of it. We stole a small bit from the History Museum and mixed it with a smoke bomb. As a gas, it doesn’t hurt her as much. It can only weaken her long enough to escape her,” T-Bone said.

“But once we get the blood, she and Lt. Shorthair will die!” Shera said.

“Don’t you think the other Swat Kats will stop you?” Razor asked.

“They don’t know our Razor is with them. Once our Razor leads them to the pyramid of Katchu Picchu, he’ll take them down.” Damn it. There’s gotta be some way for me to warn them, Razor thought to himself.

“Well, let’s get a move on, Kats,” T-Bone said, heading toward the TurboKat. Boulder and Shera lifted Razor’s holding cell and loaded it underneath the TurboKat II. Then they closed the bomb bay doors. As both TurboKats left the underground labs, Razor was thinking of a way to escape.

Chapter 3:

The Swat Kats had return from the obstacle course. They found Razor still sitting on the cot.

“Feeling better, Razor?” Quiver asked.

“Besides this head-ache I got, yeah. Guys, I just got a message from the Evil Swat Kats in my mind,” Razor said.

“What do they want?” Shera asked.

“They want us to go to the Katchu Picchu Ruins. I think they said something about getting hind’s blood.”

“What would be in the Ruins?” T-Bone asked.

“Most likely the hind’s blood.”

“Are you up for a fight, Razor?”

“Yeah. Just point me in their direction, and I’ll kick their tails!”

“All right. We’ll pick up Lt. Shorthair and then head to the Ruins.” Meanwhile, Razor was trying to pick the lock on his holding cell.

“I’d better stop this before I break a nail,” he said, taking his nail out of the keyhole.

“Hmm, there’s gotta be some way to get out of this cell. If I had Quiver’s spell book– hey, maybe if I used that spell I read out of the book, I could get out. How did that go again?” He muttered to himself then snapped his fingers.

“I got it!” He spoke in Latin and then the cell door opened.

“Bingo. Now, to get out of here.” He walked over to the Cyclotron and then pried open the bomb bay doors. He got onto the Cyclotron and launched himself out of the TurboKat. Then he landed in the street. He watched the two TurboKats fly away.

“Wait till they find out I’m gone. Now, to find the others,” he said to himself. He was about to take off when he saw two more TurboKats and an enforcer chopper in the sky.

“Ah, crud! They’re already on their way! I gotta hurry.” He revved the Cyclotron’s engines and took off after them. Later, the Evil Swat Kats had arrived at the Katchu Picchu Ruins.

“Boulder, Shera, get Razor,” T-Bone ordered.

“*You* go get him,” Boulder hissed.

“Fine. I have to do everything around here,” T-Bone said, heading for the bomb bay doors. He found them wide open. He peered inside to find an empty holding cell and the Cyclotron gone.

“Damn it! He got away!”

“Idiots! I thought I told you to make sure that cage was locked!” Quiver growled, smacking Boulder over the head.

“It *was* locked! He picked the lock,” Shera said.

“Well, we don’t have time to look for him. Our goody-to shoes look-a-likes are coming,” T-Bone said, pointing at the sky. Two Turbokats and an enforcer chopper were coming into view. The Evil Swat Kats rushed towards the pile of rubble. T-Bone and Boulder pushed a large rock out of place and there was a large hole. They entered just as Razor appeared.

“They can run, but they can’t hide from me,” he said, getting off the Cyclotron and entering the hole. Then the two TurboKats and enforcer chopper landed. T-Bone and Razor jumped out of the first TurboKat and joined the other Kats and Jettona.

“Check it out. They’re already here,” Boulder said.

“Let’s get moving, Kats,” T-Bone said. Then, Venus appeared from behind the pile of rubble.

“I hope you weren’t planning on going in there without me, T-Bone,” she said.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d show up. Let’s go.” They all entered the hole. They had reached a hallway that was separated into four parts.

“Let’s split up, guys. Razor and Quiver, you go down the first one. Boulder and Shera, you get the second one. Jettona, think you can take care of yourself?” T-Bone asked.

“Yeah. I’ll take the third,” Jettona said.

“And T-Bone and I will take the fourth,” Venus said. And they each entered different hallways. Razor and Quiver slowly walked in their hallway.

“Easy, Razor. Remember what happened last time,” Quiver said.

“Please, don’t remeind me.” Then Quiver felt her foot move a stone.

“Me-yow!” she and Razor both said, ducking as darts fired. The dart harmlessly hit the wall.

“Close one,” Quiver said, getting back up.

“Not as close as me,” Razor said, grabbing Quiver’s arms.

“Razor, this isn’t the time or the place–” Quiver said as Razor kissed her on the lips. Quiver slapped him to have him let go. She touched her lips and found a small bit of blood.

“Razor never made me bleed before. You’re not Razor,” she said.

“So, you finally figured it out,” Razor said, rubbing his face.

“It was your voice that I first figured. And your behavior convinced me. Where’s Razor?”

“Right here! Hyah!” a voice said, kicking Razor over. Quiver saw another Razor standing on the other Razor’s back.

“Go make kissy face with your own Quiver. This one’s mine,” Razor said.

“Razor, is that really you?” Quiver asked, coming closer to him. Razor gently kissed her on her lips.

“Answer your question?”

“Oh, yeah. How’d you get away?”

“No time to explain. The Evil Swat Kats are going to get the hind’s blood and kill Jettona and Venus.”

“I know. We gotta find the blood before they do,” Quiver said, running down the hall. Razor followed close behind. As the ran down the hall, spikes shot out from one side of the wall. They both got scratched several times but reached the end of the hallway. They both stopped in their tracks when they saw the Evil Swat Kats holding onto the other Swat Kats, weapons close to their necks. Then Evil Razor stepped up from behind and held a weapon to Razor’s back.

“Well, now that Razor’s back, the party can begin,” Evil T-Bone said, chuckling.

“Do we stand a chance?” Razor whispered to Quiver. The Evil Swat Kats held up their guns and pointed them at both Swat Kats.

“Hell, no.”

Chapter 4:

The Evil Swat Kats had hung the Swat Kats by ropes, dangling over a pit of lava. Each were hung seperatly by their wrists.

“Ever get that crazy déjà vu feeling?” T-Bone asked.

“Hey, *I’m* the one who’s suppose to say that. And, plenty of times,” Razor said.

“True, I’ll be stuck in this body forever, but I’ll roughen it up just like I did with the old one. Of course, it won’t matter anyway,” Evil Razor said, walking around the pit of lava.

“And why won’t it?” Quiver asked.

“Because, once they have the hind’s blood, they can go out and kill any god they want. Once you kill a god, you gain their powers. If they killed Ares, one of them would be the god of war,” Venus said.

“Or, in our case, they’d gain our firepower,” Jettona said. Evil Quiver was rubbing her sword against a necklace with a red amulet on it. Blood appeared on the sword.

“Quiver, don’t be wasting the hind’s blood!” Evil T-Bone hissed.

“Who said I’m wasting it? Bring down either Venus or Shorthair, and I’ll kill ’em,” Evil Quiver said. Venus and Jettona gulped.

“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll be loose in a second,” Quiver said, extending her claws and cutting her ropes.

“Great, but then you’ll fall in the lava faster,” Boulder said.

“I got it covered.” Then her ropes snapped and she started falling. She quickly took out her ice stars and threw them toward the lava.

“Ice shield, blast!” Then the ice stars started blowing cold wind on the lava, turning the lava into ice. Quiver landed on the ice lava and caught her stars.

“You go, girl!” Shera said.

“Quiver’s getting away! Get her!” Evil Razor said. Quiver crawled out of the hole and started running. She threw her stars towards the ceiling. The stars cut the Swat Kats’ ropes and they landed on the ice lava. Then they crawled out of the hole. Evil T-Bone took the amulet and filled some of the blood into a small dart. He loaded it into his glovatrix and aimed it at T-Bone. Venus saw this and ran toward him.

“T-Bone, look out!” Evil T-Bone fired as Venus got in front of T-Bone. The dart hit her in the chest. She fell back into T-Bone’s arms.

“C’mon! Let’s find something else to fight them with!” Evil T-Bone said, running out of the room. The Evil Swat Kats followed.

“Ha! What a bunch of scardy kats!” Boulder said, giving Shera a high-five.

“Venus,” Jettona said, watching T-Bone lying Venus on the ground. The other Swat Kats walked over to him.

“Is she–?” Razor asked. T-Bone took out the dart and saw what it had hit. He pulled on a chain and brought it into view. It was a golden heart-shaped locket. “What is it?” Shera asked.

“It’s a locket. I think I’ve seen it before,” T-Bone said, opening it up. He gasped. Inside was a picture of Chance Furlong and his high school girlfriend Tigera.

“That’s a picture of me and my old boyfriend,” a voice said. T-Bone looked beyond the locket to see Venus’s eyes were open.

“Venus. I thought you were dead for a minute there,” he said.

“I’m glad I kept that. At last, you know who I am.” “You know me, too, Venus. It’s me– Stripes.” Venus’s eyes widened.

“Stripes? You were T-Bone this whole time?”

“For the last few years, I have been. You saved my tail.”

“Well, you know, people do crazy things when they’re in love.” T-Bone leaned over and kissed Venus on the lips. Then he helped her back up.

“It’s been really heartwarming, but we need to find the Evil Swat Kats, remember, Romeo and Juliet?” Jettona asked.

“Right. Let’s get after them. And see if there’s a way to get Razor’s body back.” Then they ran in the direction the Evil Swat Kats ran in.

Chapter 5:

In the middle of the hallway, Venus raised her paw to stop the group.

“What’s up, Venus?” Razor asked.

“I’m getting some really bad vibes up ahead. The force is strong on this one,” Venus said, putting her paw on her forehead.

“You don’t think it’s the headdress, do you, T-Bone?”

“Couldn’t be. You saw it get smashed. It’s what caused the whole pyramid to go down,” T-Bone said. Quiver took out her book and flipped through the pages.

“Uh-oh. This is *not* good,” she said.

“What’s not good?” Boulder asked, looking over her shoulder.

“They got the picture of Katchu Picchu’s headdress in here. If I ever wanted to, I could just use this spell and the headdress would be on my head. Evil Quiver could do that, too.” Then Shera screamed. She fell backwards into Boulder’s arms.

“Starting to *fall* for me, Shera?” Boulder joked.

“There’s no time for joking, Boulder. The Evil Swat Kats have the headdress!” Jettona looked at her feet to find the floor opening.

“This is *not* a good place to be standing, guys!” The Kats jumped forward as the floor opened further. Quiver and T-Bone peered into the hole to find razor-sharp spikes at the bottom.

“Damn bitch!” Evil T-Bone growled.

“Oh, he is asking for his tail to be kicked,” Jettona growled. Evil T-Bone stepped forward, wearing the headdress of Katchu Picchu.

“Would you know how to work that thing, T-Bone?” Shera asked.

“*I* wouldn’t, but *that* T-Bone would,” T-Bone replied. The headdress glowed and Venus rose into the air.

“You’ll die first, Venus!” Then a dagger covered with blood floated by Evil T-Bone’s head.

“Yike!” Venus said. The dagger flew towards Venus. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. Then she felt someone pull her back to the ground. The dagger passed over her head.

“For once, it was *me* saving your tail,” T-Bone said. Evil T-Bone growled.

“Get ’em, Kats!”

“With pleasure!” Evil Razor said. And he and the other Swat Kats charged at the others. T-Bone was dodging the lasers Evil T-Bone was firing from the headdress. Razor and Evil Razor were throwing punches.

“Give me back my body!” Razor growled.

“On a cold day in Hell!” Evil Razor returned. Quiver did a handstand and started spinning around.

“Spinning bird kick!” And she kicked Evil Quiver in the stomach. As she fell backwards, Evil Quiver kicked Quiver in the face. Boulder threw his boomerang at Evil Boulder, who also threw his boomerang. Both boomerangs knocked each other out of the sky.

“Damn, it’s like fighting a mirror,” Boulder said to himself.

“If you asked me, we’re not getting anywhere!” Shera said as she jumped into the air and tried to kick Evil Shera in the face. Evil Shera took her foot and threw her into Venus and Jettona.

“No shit. It’s like shadowboxing… Except *these* shadows box back!” Quiver said, ducking Evil Quiver’s fist.

“I got an idea that’s just crazy enough to work! Kats, switch partners!” Razor shouted, pushing Evil Razor to T-Bone.

“Sounds good to me!” T-Bone said as the rest of the Kats pushed the Evil Swat Kats to each other. He picked up the Evil Razor and raised his fist.

“Hope I don’t bruise Razor’s body *too* badly,” he said, punching Evil Razor in the face. He flew back into the wall. Quiver did an air kick and knocked Evil Boulder over.

“Mangy bitch!” he growled. Quiver’s eyes glowed red.

“*Big* mistake!” The last thing Evil Boulder saw was Quiver’s fist coming at his face. Evil Shera threw a punch at Boulder, who just ducked. He jumped into the air and landed behind her.

“What the–?” she asked, turning around to see him. A piece of rock met the back of her head and she collapsed to the floor. Boulder dropped the rock and dusted his paws off.

“They don’t call me Boulder for nothing,” he said. Razor did a back flip to avoid Evil Quiver’s kicks.

“Why don’t you let your hair down a little, Quiv?” he asked, doing a handstand and using his feet to kick Evil Quiver in the chest. Evil Quiver was kicked backwards into the Evil Razor who was just getting back to his feet.

“Watch where you’re falling!” he growled.

“Ah, shut up!” she growled back. Evil T-Bone continued to use the headdress on Shera.

“C’mon, you can do it, big guy,” Shera said. Evil T-Bone hissed and the headdress fired a laser at her. She took out one of her daggers and held it up. The laser bounced off the dagger and back at Evil T-Bone. He dodged just as it neared him. By this time, Razor and Evil Razor were fighting each other again. The laser hit both of them. They then quickly passed out.

“Ah, not again,” Evil Quiver growled.

“Just grab one of them and let’s get the hell out of here!” Evil T-Bone growled.

“Not so fast, Kats!” Venus said, raising her paw into the air. Jettona did the same. Fire shot out both of their paws and hit the headdress on Evil T-Bone’s head. The pyramid started to crumble.

“Not again!” T-Bone shouted.

“So long, you goody-two Kats!” Evil T-Bone laughed as Evil Quiver opened a portal. Evil Boulder grabbed the Razor with the green skull on his helmet and ran into the portal along with the other Evil Swat Kats.

“Well, I better catch up. So long, Swat Kats,” Jettona said, running into the portal as it was closing. When the portal closed, T-Bone picked up the Razor with the red triangle on his helmet and started running.

“Quick! We gotta get out of here!”

“You don’t have to tell *us* twice!” Quiver said. They quickly ran thought the hallway and out of the pyramid as it collapsed. The pyramid had reduce in size when they escaped.

“That was a close one,” Shera panted.

“Yeah. Who would’ve thought that a pyramid that had already fallen apart could fall apart again?” Boulder asked.

“So… Is it over?” Venus asked.

“This adventure, I think so. I don’t think we’ll be hearing from the Katchu Picchu Ruins for quite awhile… Or the hind’s blood,” T-Bone said.

“What about Razor? I-Is it our Razor or theirs?” Quiver asked. Then the Razor in T-Bone’s arms moaned.

“Crud, can that headdress pack a punch! Hey, guys. How’s it going?” Razor panted.

“We need proof that this is Razor. But how?”

“I know a way,” Quiver said, coming to Razor. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

When she released him from the kiss, she said, “This is him.”

“Ah, call me relieved. Let’s get him home.”

“T-Bone…?” Venus started.

“Meet me back at the garage tonight. We’ll talk.”

Chapter 6:

That night, Chance was sitting down at the table drinking some hot chocolate. Tigera appeared in the doorway.

“Hi, Stripes,” she said.

“Hey, Tiger. Come on in. Want some hot chocolate?” She sat down next to Chance at the table.

“Sure.” Chance got up and got a mug out of the cabinet. He poured some milk and some chocolate into the mug and put it into the microwave. He set the timer for two minutes. When the timer went off, he set the mug on a costar and set it in front of Tigera.

“Marshmallows?” Chance asked.

“No thanks.” Chance sat back down at the table.

“Chance, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was sooner. I had no idea that you were T-Bone. I should’ve seen it.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think you were Venus until that night. I mean, I don’t think it was a coincidence that we both were out of town, in a park, at night, with another kat and had sex.”

“I didn’t think you would ever speak to me again if I told you who it was. I mean, would you talk to me if I told I was out with the leader of the Swat Kats?”

“If I wasn’t him, I still would talk to you. After all, we spent six years together. Best years of my life.” Tigera nodded, then laughed.


“I was just thinking. We dumped each other for each other. Kinda funny, don’t you think?” Chance chuckled.

“Ahem. So… What happens now?”

“We finally solved the mystery of who we are. That was my main goal. After I found out, I was planning to start a real relationship with you and maybe join the Swat Kats. But you have enough Swat Kats.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate and sighed.

“Tiger, there’s always room in the cockpit for one more. If you want to join–”

“*Could* I, Stripes?”

“As long as you still love me.” Tigera moved closer to him and kissed him. Jake and Kat walked into the kitchen to find them like that.

“Let’s not interrupt them *this* time,” Jake whispered.

Kat chuckled, “C’mon, I’ll put some more hydrogen peroxide on our cuts.”

“I’d rather ruin their kiss.”

“Not tonight, Jake. Besides, I think we just got ourselves a new Swat Kat.” Then they left the kitchen and left the two kissing.


That’s right, ev’ryone! “The Venus Series” has come to an end! Now, there’s six Swat Kats. They’re going to need a bigger hangar. Coming up next time, a Halloween episode. It also includes a certain crossover with a certain demigod and his “Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi” friend. Of course, it’s Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless as the One Hercules and the Only Xena! Well, anyway, questions? Comments? E-mail me: karigilmore@hotmail.com. Until next time, Kat fans!

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