Original SWAT Kats Story

Losing Hope

By Kari Gilmore

  • 2 Chapters
  • 12,293 Words

A “Hercules” and “Xena: Warrior Princess” crossover. Buster’s been poisoned and only a flower from ancient Greece can save him.

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Author's Notes:

Happy Halloween, Kat fans! Or maybe Halloween’s already over by the time this story gets posted up. Anyway, it’s time for a Halloween story! Get ready for a mega crossover with Hercules and Xena! The characters are feline but are still dressed and sound like Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Renee O’Connor, Ted Ramai, Keven Smith, Alexandra Tydings, and Hudson Leick. The setting is the middle of Xena’s third season and Hercules’ fourth season. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

We open our story in the sky where a full moon shines down on MegaKat City. As the clouds pass over the moon, you see the opening credits. (OK, so I’m making it sound like a movie. Just go along with it.) The credits start out with “Hanna-Barbera Productions Presents Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron”, the fades out. The we go down to the streets of MegaKat City where goblins and ghouls terrorized every house they came to. They knocked on one door. A woman with a black sweater and blue jeans opened the door.

“Trick or treat!” the ghouls and goblins said, holding up their buckets shaped like jack-o-lanterns. The woman smiled and put a piece of candy in each bucket. The children thanked her and went to the next house.

“Ah, the Spirit of Halloween. I love it,” the woman said, closing the door. In another part of town, some reckless teenagers were throwing eggs at doors and decorating their houses with toilet paper. A cranky old kat opened the door and yelled at them. The teenagers ran down the block.

“I hate Halloween,” he said, slamming the door. Down at the Kat’s Eye News station, all the reporters and crews were having a party in the lounge.

“So, how do you like an American Halloween, Buster?” Ann Gora asked her camera-kat Buster.

“Well, it’s… Different. I mean, I’m so used to all the ghosts and ghouls that rose from their graves every All Hallows Eve, but 800 years later, they stay dead,” Buster replied.

“Attention, everyone!” Tom Kat said, tapping his glass. Everyone in the room froze and looked up.

“We’re gathered here on this Halloween night for a very important reason. It’s Ann Gora’s fifth year with us. Let’s make it one year she’ll never forget!” The reporters and crews cheered. Ann could feel her face blushing as she heard music starting. Then spooky organ music started playing. Then the beat quickened into deep percussion.

“I really don’t think you guys should make a big deal out of this. I mean, it’s only been five years, not fifty years!” Ann said.

“Ah, c’mon, Ann. Let us make a big deal. After all, you’re Kat’s Eye News star reporter,” Buster said.

“I’m Kat’s Eye News *only* star reporter.”


“OK, I’ll get into this,” Ann said.

“Dance with me, Annie!” Buster said. Ann and Buster strolled onto the dance floor and started dancing. And the song ended with a drum roll and a crashing of the cymbals. Everyone cheered.

“Well, that was fun,” Ann said.

“Yeah. Why can’t every night be Halloween?” Buster asked. Ann shrugged.

“C’mon. You wanna ditch this party and go have dinner?”

“Wouldn’t that be like a *date*, Buster Whitetail?”

“Uh, well…”

“Ah, what the hell? It’s been years since I’ve sneaked out of a party.” Then Buster and Ann walked out of the lounge. As they walked down the street, they watched all the kittens in their Halloween costumes.

“Cute, aren’t there?” Ann asked.

“Yeah. I don’t recall anything like this back home,” Buster said.

“By the way, where are we going?”

“I was thinking like the Rosemary Cafe. Is that OK?” Ann nodded. Later that night at the Rosemary Cafe, they had just received their appetizer soups.

“Funny. This doesn’t look like my usual soup,” Ann said, stirring her soup with a spoon.

“What? Is there a fly in there or something?” Buster asked, looking at the soup.

“It just looks different. It doesn’t look much like tomato soup.”

“Well, maybe you just got the wrong order. Here, let me try some of it.” Buster lifted up a spoon and scooped up some of the soup.

“Are you sure you want to do that, Buster?”

“It’s probably just garlic soup or something. Maybe it’s out of date. I’ll survive,” Buster said, putting the spoonful of soup in his mouth.

“It’s got a kind of bitter taste to it. It’s not kind of soup I know of.” He took some water and drunk some.

“Is it getting warm in here, or is it me?”

“Maybe the soup was a little too hot for you,” Ann said.

“No, I can usually take hot soup. Damn, it’s hot in here.”

“Buster, stop clowning around. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m not clowning.” Then he collapsed to the floor. Ann got out of her chair.

“Buster? Somebody call an ambulance!”

Chapter 2:

In the hospital’s waiting room, Ann paced the room back and forth. Chance, Jake, Katarina, and Tigera entered the waiting room and rushed over to Ann.

“We came as fast as we could, Ann,” Chance said.

“Any word on Buster?” Katarina asked.

“No. They’re still examining him. I think it was food poisoning. But who would want to poison Buster?” Ann asked.

“I thought you said it was *your* soup,” Tigera said. Then a doctor stepped into the waiting room.

“Ms. Gora?”


“Would you and your friends come with me, please?” They followed the doctor into a hospital room where Buster was in a bed.

“What happened to him, Doctor?” Ann asked.

“As far as I can tell, it’s food poisoning. Do you have any enemies, Ms. Gora?” the doctor asked.

“None that I can think of.”

“What kind of food poisoning are we talking, Doc?” Jake asked.

“We’re not sure. We’re running a blood sample through the computers right now. We’re doing everything we can, Mr. Clawson. You just need to be patient.” Then the doctor left the room.

“Patience is for hospitals,” Jake said.

“And where do you think we are? Rome?” Chance asked.

“It’s my fault. I never should have allowed him to taste that soup,” Ann said.

“Aw, don’t tell me we’re going to have another one of *those* stories again,” Chance said. Katarina walked up to Buster and put her paw over his.

“Hang in there, Bust. Don’t check out on us.” Then the doctor entered the room.

“We got the results. It appears to be a poison called nights bane.”

“There’s no cure for that,” Jake said.

“Well, actually, there is one cure. What he needs is the petals from the Grecian Lilac.”

“Grecian Lilac? Well, that’s no problem. We can just go to the MegaKat Greenhouse and get some,” Katarina said.

“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Ms. Furlong. The Grecian Lilac has been extinct for over three thousand years. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid Mr. Whitetail will die in the morning. But we may decide to pull the plug later tonight to save him from suffering. Either way, he’ll be dead in the morning.” Later that night, they were down in the Swat Kats’ hangar, watching Katarina pace the room.

“Katarina, stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy just watching,” Chance said.

“Sorry, Bro, but I think better when I pace,” Kat replied, continuing to pace across the room.

“You heard the doctor. That flower has been extinct for centuries. There’s nothing we can do,” Ann said. Kat stopped pacing and starred at her.

“Ann Gora, losing hope? I never thought I’d see the day when you’d give up so quickly.”

“Well, let’s face it. There’s no way he can live to see tomorrow.”

“There is *one* way. The only way for us to get that flower is to go back into the past. It’s no problem for me,” Tigera said.

“But we’re talking about Ancient Greece. The warlords were murder back then,” Jake said.

“Ha! Those warlords were harmless kittens compared to one other person and me. And could she kick tails!” Katarina said.

“Look, if we can actually get those flowers, I don’t care about the dangers. I just want Buster alive,” Ann said.

“So, are we going?” Tigera asked.

“I ain’t afraid of any warlord. Let’s do it,” Chance said, getting a sword out of his locker. The rest of the group got their weapons out and gathered together in a circle.

“Are we ready?” Chance asked.

“Let’s do it,” the group said.

“Are you sure you can still time travel, Tigera? I mean, you’re not a full god anymore.”

“The only thing Satan took was my immortality. Nothing else. Now, be quiet and stay focused. We’re going through the time warp.” The Kats grabbed each other’s paws. They closed their eyes as the background started to fade into space. They reopened their eyes as they heard some annoying music. Then they say a guy in a black suit floating in the air.

“You’re traveling in another dimension, one of sight, sound, and time,” he said, floating away.

“Who the *hell* was that?”

“I don’t know. Some weirdo that escaped from the loony bin a while ago for all I know,” Tigera said.

“Could someone *please* stop this stupid ‘duh duh duh duh’ music?!” Katarina yelled. Then the music changed into light percussion.

“Why do I feel like we’ve entered the Twilight Zone?” Chance asked.

“That guy back there?” Tigera suggested.

“It’s remarkable. Time is actually passing before us,” Ann said. Along the walls, people and events were appearing, going backwards.

“We’re getting closer,” Tigera said. Then, they headed for the bright light at the end of the warp.

“Head toward the light,” Jake said in an eerie voice.

“You mean we got a choice?” Chance asked. Suddenly, they found themselves in a grain field in the middle of the day. They also found themselves in their Swat Kat G-suits.

“Wow. It’s beautiful,” Shera said.

“Did somebody say ‘beautiful’?” a female voice asked. Out of thin air, a woman appeared in front of the Kats. She was dressed (well, she was *mostly* covered. At least she’s not nude) in a pink tunic. She had a pearly white smile and long curly blonde hair and peach fur. T-Bone and Razor both had their mouths wide open.

“Better close those things, guys. Your tongues are getting dusty,” she said. Razor felt like blushing while T-Bone tried to keep his cool.

“Don’t turn your back on Venus unless you want your tail fried,” he said to himself.

“Hello, Aphrodite,” Venus said.

“Hey, Cuz. Long time no see. So, how’s your dad?” Aphrodite asked.

“Eh, same old grumpy Lord of Hell. Yours?”

“Still King of the Gods.”

“You mean, you actually *know* the Goddess of Love?” Razor asked.

“Sure. All gods know each other. Besides, she’s my cousin. Hey, I heard you’re mortal now. Drag, huh?” Aphrodite asked.

“Actually, no. I wanted to be mortal. I didn’t want to live forever without T-Bone.”

“Ah, the way I work love is amazing even to me sometimes.”

“Listen, Aphrodite, we came here on business.”

“Count *me* out. I don’t do business. Go find Hercules or Xena.” Then Aphrodite disappeared just as she appeared.

“OK, I’m confused. Are we in Ancient Greece or are we still in the 1990s?” T-Bone asked.

“Boy, was she valley. Do all Greek gods make entrances and exits like that?” Shera asked.

“Sometimes they make a real grand entrance. One time, Aphrodite sledded down Mt. Olympus on a giant shell. C’mon, let’s go find Hercules and Xena,” Venus said.

“Wait. Xena? The *Warrior Princess* Xena?” Quiver asked.

“Yeah. You know her or something?”

“Know her?! She was my mentor when we were both warlords. All my best moves are from her.”

“But would she know you if you wore a mask?” Shera asked.

“It was Xena who inspired me to wear a mask. Let’s go find her.” Later, as they were walking through a forest, they faintly heard a woman singing.

“What’s that?” Razor asked.

“It’s a song a person sings at a burial. And I think I’ve heard this voice before,” Quiver said, walking ahead of the group. The Kats quickly caught up with her. At the end of the forest, they saw a woman in black leather and battle gear starting a funeral pyre. With her is a younger woman with reddish-blonde hair in a green top and a pink skirt and holding a staff at her side. Along with them is a tall man in a yellow shirt and brown leather pants. The other is a man wearing a lot of metal plates and a stupid looking helmet, making him look ludicrous. Quiver stepped forward, taking soft steps toward the four. The woman raised her head as Quiver came closer. When Quiver was only a foot away, the woman jumped into the air and landed behind her. She knocked Quiver to the ground. Quiver looked up to see the woman’s face. She had dark brown fur, blue eyes, and dark black hair.

“Nice try,” she said, taking out her sword.

“Thanks. I promise I’ll do better on the next one,” Quiver said kicking the woman’s legs and making her fall next to her knocking the sword out of her paws.

“He-yah!” Quiver said, kicking the woman in the face. The woman was kicked back into a tree. By the time Quiver got back to her feet, the woman was charging at her.

“Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!” she yelled, jumping into the air. Quiver ducked, causing the woman to crash into the man wearing a lot of metal plates.

“Stay out of my way, Joxer,” the woman said, getting back up.

“Now, see, it wasn’t my fault you fell into me. You were the one–” Joxer said.

“Joxer, don’t bother,” the other man said. Both Quiver and the woman raced toward each other. Quiver jumped into the air and onto the woman’s chest. She seemed to run up and then flipped off the woman’s chest and into the air. While still in the air, she kicked the woman in the face. The woman sell on the ground. She stayed down as Quiver put her high-heeled boot on her chest. They both panted.

“Had enough?” Quiver asked.

“Plenty for one day. I see you finally got that move right,” the woman said.

“Well, I had a good teacher.” Quiver helped the woman back to her feet. They clasped paws, then hugged.

“Oh, Xena, it’s good to see you again,” Quiver said, releasing the woman from the hug.

“Back at ya,” Xena said.

“I take it you two know each other,” the man with the yellow shirt said.

“Aye, you might say that. You can come on out, guys. It’s safe,” Quiver called to the other Kats. They stepped out of hiding and came to the group.

“Hello, Hercules, Xena,” Venus said.

“Hello, Venus. It’s been quite some time,” Xena said.

“Hey, Cousin. Would you like to introduce us to your friends?” Hercules asked.

“Oh, right. Hercules, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, these are our friends, T-Bone, Razor, and Shera. Guys, meet Herclues, the Son of Zeus, Xena, Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Bard of Potedaia, and Joxer the Mighty,” Venus said.

“Nice to meet you. So, uh, who died?” Shera asked.

“We just found him on our way to Thebes to visit Hercules’ mother. Xena and I do this sometimes when we travel alone,” Gabrielle said.

“There’s something to don’t find everybody doin’. Listen, Hercules, we really need some help. A friend of ours is really sick. We need to know where the Grecian Lilacs are,” T-Bone said.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you. I have no idea where the flowers are,” Hercules said.

“Don’t ask me. I just tag along with Xena and Gabrielle sometimes,” Joxer said.

“I know where they are. They’re in the fields on the way to Athens. But some bacchae have been seen there,” Xena said.

“What are bacchae?” Razor asked.

“Vampires,” Quiver replied.

“I don’t care about any bacchae vampires. We need those flowers, Quiver. Buster’s life depends on them,” Shera said.

“Xena, are we going to help them?” Gabrielle said.

“Yeah, are we, Xena?” Joxer asked.

“Of course, we’ll help. We’ll have to tell Jason and your mother we’ll be late, Hercules,” Xena said.

“It was a surprise visit anyway,” Hercules’ shrugged. Then they heard a faint giggle.

“Oh, Xena, always the helpful on when it comes to old friends.”

“What the hell–?” T-Bone asked.

“Who’s talking?” Razor asked. Then a god appeared out of thin air. It was… (Bum bum bum!) Callisto, Warrior Queen!

Chapter 3:

Callisto giggled as she came to the group.

“Hello, everybody. Missed me?” Callisto asked.

“Like I miss fleas,” Venus said.

“Callisto. You bitch, what do you want?” Xena asked.

“Ooh, tsk tsk tsk. Such language, Xena. Is that anyway to talk to an old friend?”

“An old friend who helped kill my son, you mean.”

“Oh, Xena, let’s put Little Solan aside and meet my new friend.”

“Who is she talking about?” Joxer asked.

“I got a pretty good idea,” Quiver said as a figure stepped out of the forest.

“Cousin Hercules! It’s been ages!” the figure said, coming into view.

“Jettona,” Hercules said.

“I thought I felt my skin crawl,” Quiver said.

“What are you doing here, Little Sister?” Venus asked.

“I could ask the same about you, Venus. Could it be that Ann Gora asked you to help her camera-kat, Buster Whitetail?” Quiver’s eyes glowed red.

“I should’ve known you’d poison him,” she growled.

“It’s nothing I’m new at. I’ve done it for centuries.”

“Aye, just like trying to avenge your family, I’d wager. I bet you were poisoning everybody to get to the descendant of your family’s murder. Well, I got news for ya: She’s not quite dead yet.” That’s when Jettona suddenly realized that she had seen Quiver’s face before. Not that one time but in the 1100s.

“You’re the one who slaughtered my family,” she said.

“Very good. It’s unpleasant to meet you again, too. You thought killing my best friend would give you sweet revenge, but you were wrong. I would’ve killed myself if I thought you had won,” Quiver said.

“So that means that Sir Whitetail is the one I poisoned.”

“And if he is?” “Then we’ll sure of it that you’ll never get those flowers.”

“Well, this has all been very interesting, but we have better things to do. Fair warning, Xena dear. You won’t have any bacchae trouble. You’ll only have troubles that are a little… *Bigger*,” Callisto said as she and Jettona disappeared into thin air.

“Callisto’s just like Jettona,” T-Bone said.

“Too much like her. One Jettona was bad enough, but when Callisto got some ambrosia, damn,” Venus said.

“How’d she get her paws on that?”

“Later, T-Bone. Right now, we need to be prepared for whatever those two have planned for us,” Xena said. She stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled. Then a tan horse galloped over to her.

“Nice trick,” Razor said.

“I trained her myself. She was a hell of a lot easier to train than Quiver,” Xena said, mounting onto the horse. Quiver hissed. Gabrielle climbed up behind her.

“Can you manage walking?” Gabrielle asked.

“Sure. We can stand a little exercise,” Shera replied.

“All right, then. Let’s get going,” Hercules said. Just as Hercules took a step forward, a god appeared. He was dressed in completely in black leather and had a beard on his chin.

“What do you want, Ares?” Hercules asked.

“You can’t go after the Grecian Lilacs. I won’t allow it,” Ares said.

“Fuck you, Ares! We don’t care about any vampires. All we care about is saving our friend,” Razor said.

“Callisto wasn’t talking about the bacchae. She was talking about the Titans. They have a plan to set them free.”

“So? You’re a god. You can handle them,” Xena said.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like you’re vulnerable or anything,” Gabrielle said.

“Only to hind’s blood,” Joxer added.

“Besides. Don’t you have the Chronis Stone to save your tails?” = Venus asked.

“That’s our only problem. Callisto and Jettona stole the Chronis Stone,” Ares said.

“So the *real* reason you won’t let us get the flowers is because you want us to help save you gods? Some God of War,” T-Bone said. Ares raised her paw and threw a fireball at him. Venus put her paw in front of T-Bone to block the fireball from hitting his chest.

“Fry him, and I’ll go back to the future and find the hind’s blood hidden in a bunch of rubble,” she said, blowing on her paw.

“Yeah, we won’t help at all if you keep that up,” Razor said.

“Not as if we were helping anyway,” Hercules said.

“I’m warning you, Hercules. I’ll force your paws into this if I have to,” Ares said, disappearing.

“Well, a run-in with the God of War and a scheduled meeting with the Titans. What a Halloween!” Quiver said.

“It’s not over yet. Ares is going to try to get us into helping the gods. One never knows what he’ll come up with,” Xena said.

“Enough talk. It’s not helping Buster any,” Shera said.

“She’s right. Let’s go.” Without another word, the group walked away from the burning pyre and back into the forest.

Chapter 4:

Later that day, they had reached a small village.

“How about a refreshment before we continue the journey, guys?” Hercules asked.

“I’d appreciate it,” Joxer said. Xena dismounted from her horse and put her ear to the ground.

“Xena, what are you doing?” T-Bone asked.

“Faint rumble. An earthquake is started,” Xena said. The moment she said that, the ground started to shaking. Chance fell on his paws = >and knees. =20 > > “Me-yow! What the hell’s going on?!”=20 > “Trouble with a capital T!” Gabrielle said. Suddenly, the ground beneath Razor’s feet started to crack. A hole opened up and he fell in. He quickly grabbed onto a ledge.

“I could use some help down here!” he shouted.

“Hang on, Lil’ Bro. I’ll get ya,” T-Bone said, getting down on his stomach and reaching down into the hole. Razor reached up for his paw, but he was several inches away from T-Bone.

“I can’t reach him! He’s too far!” T-Bone said. Joxer grabbed onto T-Bone’s feet and pushed him down further into the hole.

“Thanks, Joxer. But I’m still a little short.” Suddenly, the hole started closing. Razor looked at the opposite wall and gasped.

“Crud! I knew I felt like pancakes this morning, but I didn’t mean it literally!” he said.

“Hercules!” T-Bone shouted. Hercules rushed over to the hole and put his paws on either side of the walls. He pushed back on them as T-Bone struggled to get Razor out of the hole. Razor’s claws scraped the ledge he was holding onto. The ledge was sharp and cut his paws.

“T-Bone, I can’t hold on much longer!” Razor shouted.

“Don’t let go, buddy! I almost gotcha! A little further, Joxer!” T-Bone said. Joxer lowered T-Bone further. Now he could reach Razor. He grabbed his bleeding paw.

“Joxer, pull us up!” Joxer quickly backed up as Hercules let go of the walls. Razor let out a shout when the hole closed on his right leg. Hercules pulled the walls of the hole open again while T-Bone pulled Razor’s leg out. Then he released it again. Razor stayed sitting on the ground, rubbing his leg.

“Razor, are you all right?” Shera asked.

“Besides my leg and bleeding paws, I’m fine. My leg hurts like hell,” Razor replied. Xena took a look at the leg.

“I think your leg is broken. I can help ease the pain on it, then find something to make a splint,” she said.

“And how are you going to do that?” Razor asked.

“I’m going to do it by pressure points. OK, this is going to hurt a bit. So be prepared.” Xena jabbed her fore and middle fingers into the side of Razor’s leg. He kept from crying out but clenched his teeth. Then his leg went numb.

“OK, I’m going to do it again. It’s going to hurt twice as bad then. Are you ready?” Razor nodded. She jabbed her fingers on another part of the leg. He let out a shout as the pain returned, twice as painful.

“Aah, figured I’d be used to a little pain,” he said.

“Just be grateful the leg wasn’t damaged bad enough to cut it off,” Quiver said.

“OK, now, somebody find me a good piece of wood to make a splint,” Joxer took out his sword and gave her the scabbard.

“Will that do?” he asked.

“For now, until we can find some wood,” Xena replied, tying a piece of string around the scabbard and Razor’s leg. Quiver and Shera helped Razor back up and wrapped an arm around each shoulder. T-Bone turned to Joxer.

“Thanks for the help, Joxer.”

“Hey, I do what I can,” Joxer replied.

“What was that jolt anyway?” Razor asked.

“Yeah, it only lasted a few seconds before that hole closed up,” Shera said. Suddenly, the ground started shaking again.

“Blasted, not again!” Quiver said. The ground started cracking in front of their feet. A giant hole opened up and a giant creature came out.

“Holy kats! What the hell is that thing?!” T-Bone asked.

“Big!” Gabrielle said.

“And mean,” Xena said.

“And ugly,” Joxer followed.

“And a Titan,” Hercules said. The creature stepped out of the hole and faced the group.

“Heloooo, Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Ugly,” Shera said.

“I have no time to dealt with you, mortals. I have some unfinished business with the Gods,” the Titan said.

“Hey, if you think I’m going to let you take out my cousins, you got another thing coming. Most of them may be cruel at times, but they’re still my family,” Venus said.

“You think you can defeat me? There are three other Titans for you to meet. We’ll leave your mortal world alone and take our fight to Mt. Olympus.”

“All right. Go,” Hercules said. The Titan then walked away from the group, each footstep slightly shaking the ground.

“Why did you do that, Hercules?” Xena asked.

“We can’t let the Titans mess with the mortal world. Innocent people could get hurt. The Gods can handle the Titans themselves,” Hercules replied.

“Without the Chronis Stone? They’ll get their tails kicked!” T-Bone said.

“What *is* the Chronis Stone anyway?” Razor asked.

“And who was that Titan?” Shera asked.

“His name’s Porphyrion, leader and eldest of the Titans. And the Chronis Stone is a giant rock that the Gods used to defeat the Titans eons ago. A small piece of the Chronis Stone can send you forwards, backwards, and freeze time. Hercules went through that once. If the Titans ever got it, they’d rule the universe,” Venus said. Razor looked up in the sky and saw a Titan flying.

“Which Titan is that one?” he asked.

“Looks like Crius to me.”

“Where do you think the other two are?” Quiver asked.

“Tethys and Mnemosyne are just getting loose. They won’t make it to Mt. Olympus for a couple of hours so we’ll set up camp,” Xena said. Later, T-Bone was sharpening his sword with a rock in front of the fire. Xena was doing the same. Gabrielle glared at both of them.

“Great minds think alike. Ooh, that’s a good one. I gotta remember that.” T-Bone glared over at Gabrielle and chuckled. He blew the dust off his sword and looked at Xena.

“So, uh, Xena, Quiver tells us that you’re a warlord,” he said.

“*Was*,” Xena said.

“What made you change?”

“Hercules. I owe him everything.” She laid her sword on the ground and folded her arms across her chest.

“Gabrielle helped, too. Let me tell you the story. After I decided to change my ways, I wanted to back to my home. On the way there, I met Gabrielle. The men of another warlord named Draco were capturing her village. I stopped them. Afterwards I found out my mother and my hometown didn’t welcome me home with open arms. I was sure I was going to get seriously hurt if Gabrielle hadn’t followed me and convinced them not to kill me, like if I was in love with Draco and he would avenge me if I was killed.”

“Clever kitten.”

“Yeah. I decided to allow her to tag along when I went to my brother’s grave. That’s when I went back home to discover that Draco was looking for me. I challenged him to a fight above ground. Whoever hit the ground first would die first. It got a little crazy, but I beat him. I told him I’d spare his life if he and his men got out of the valley by sunset. After all that, Gabrielle decided to stay with me and help me fight. It wasn’t long after that when she got herself a staff. She got it as a gift from the Amazons.”

“Why a staff?”

“She knows a staff can’t kill anybody, yet she can defend herself. But, a couple of months ago, she *did* kill somebody and lost her blood of innocence.”

“It must’ve been rough on her.”

“It was.” T-Bone held up his sword and put it back into its scabbard.

“How are we going to fight Callisto anyway? If she and Jettona have the Chronis Stone, then the Gods are doomed.”

“I don’t care much for the Gods. Ares is the only god who has tried to bring me back into the world of destruction. I would gladly watch him die like an animal.”

“Yeah, but Venus doesn’t want them to get killed. They *are* her cousins, after all. And Ares said he’ll find a way to get us into this one way or another. I’m just worried about *how* he’s gonna do it.” Then Quiver walked over to the fire and sat next to T-Bone.

“How’s Razor doing?”

“Better. I just re-splinted his leg and gave Joxer back his scabbard. I wish you had taught me those pressure point moves, Xena,” Quiver said.

“You mean to tell me that those steel-cutting claws are starting to bore you?” Xena asked. Quiver shrugged. Then her ears twitched. She looked over her shoulder at a bush. Xena got to her feet and walked over to the bush. She reach in and pulled out a kat in black leather. Xena jabbed her fingers at a certain spot in the kats’ neck. He started twitching.

“I just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You’ll be dead in 30 seconds if you don’t tell me what you’re doing here,” Xena said.

“Ares wants you to help the Gods fight the Titans. They’ve teamed up with Callisto, Jettona, and Hera,” the kat said. Xena jabbed her fingers at the kat’s neck again. He gasped and passed out. Quiver peered over Xena’s shoulder.

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” she asked.

“No. Whenever I bring the flow of blood back, they usually pass out. He’ll regain feeling in a few minutes. Ares still wants to help defeat the Titans. Hera teamed up with Callisto and Jettona and the Titans are with them.”

“Well, my evening plans are ruined if they rule the universe. We’re still not helping them, right?”

“I could care less about the Gods, but if the Titans rule the universe, we might have to stop them.”

Chapter 5:

Later, Xena told Hercules the news.

“Well, what are they going to do if we don’t help? I don’t give a shit,” Hercules said. Then they heard a scream.

“Sounds like it came from the tent,” Xena said. They both rushed over to the tent and found Razor, lying motionless on his mat. Xena walked over to him and looked over his body. She knelt by him and lifted the blanket off his body. His stomach was slit open.

“He’s dead,” she said, putting the blanket back over his body and over his face.

“Dead? Who killed him?” Hercules asked.

“One of the Gods, I’d say. Most likely Ares. The filthy bastard!” Xena growled. Then Quiver stepped into the tent.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Quiver– Katarina–” Xena began. Quiver looked at the body next to Xena.

“What happened to him?”

“His stomach was slit open.”

“Is he–?” Xena nodded. Quiver developed a lump in her throat and her eyes started to water.

“Excuse me,” she said, running out of the tent. She ran into the forest. She pushed aside all the vines and branches as they came in her way. She ran over puddles and then came onto a cliff. There, she fell to her knees and screamed. In the distance, Hercules and Xena heard her. T-Bone, Shera, and Venus heard her. Even on their way to Mt. Olympus, Callisto and Jettona heard.

“Ah, nothing like a mournful scream to make you ready to rule the universe,” Callisto said. Jettona smiled, then cackled. Quiver stopped screaming, buried her face in her paws, and cried. T-Bone glared at Shera and Venus.

“That sounded like Quiver. What just happened?” he asked.

“T-Bone, Shera, Venus. We have something to tell you,” Hercules said as he and Xena came to them.

“What happened, Hercules?” Xena sighed and tried to avoid eye contact.

“Razor is dead.”


Sorry, but I had to cut this story short. It’s just too long! You’ll find out what happens on the next archive update.

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