This Heading is dedicated to DJ Clawson and Strike with out whom
in would never have been possible. I.E. you wouldn't be reading this now
I'll try to keep this brief, if you don't know who the Swat Kats are Read
another story most of them have a good description of them in the header.
If you don't know much about mycharacter look you Strikes RPG page on Geo Cities
under SOHO 9294 and read his bio!
And
Now
Hit the lights (thrashy Metallica Music plays in the background)
KAGE
(thinking)
Thinking back I remember it like it was yesterday, that
might be because it was in fact only a few months ago. It started on
a night like many others I had been driving around trying to shake a
felling of depression that stemmed from another source best forgotten
but burnt into my brain all the same, please excuse my rambling as I
continue on. I was driving slowly around the docks when a strange
sound coming from an ally near by caught my attention. Hmm sounds
like a mugging, reaching under my seat for an old flight helmet and
my katanas glad for once that I usually keep them in my car. Stopping
I throw on the stuff I just dragged from under my seat and headed
down my dark alleyway, being careful to keep in the shadows like the
mercenary that I used to be. Stopping behind a garbage can that is
near the sight of the mugging and looking over the thugs 2 of them
both big but not so large as I, hmm the mark seams to be resting good
the bigger one is talking I can barley make out his words
PUNK
Man you just don't get it do you punk there's no one
around to help you just give us your wallet and we wont have to rough
you up
KAGE
Lucky for you sir he's wrong.
(The punks whirl around to face Kage.)
PUNK
What oh its just one of those swat kat wanna be's. he he
(He draws a gun)
I'll ice him for you Johnny
(I reaching into my boot for my throwing knife.)
KAGE
Oh really, punk.
(PUNK starts to aim)
(But I'm faster, throwing my knife. I watch in satisfaction as it
thunks into his gun knocking it to the ground)
(Standing up as I draw my katanas, I grin)
(The punks back up their eyes going wide with sudden fear as they
realize how much danger their in)
PUNK
Man you ca-can't do nothing you're no enforcer.
KAGE
So why should that stop me you look like criminals to me
and I'm betting that this man the one you were mugging would be more
than happy to testify against you in a court of law
(slapping their in the heads with the flats of my katana blades, I
watch as they slip into unconscious)
(I turn to the rather small kat the bullies were harassing)
KAGE
If you just alert the enforcers I'm sure that you can
have these 2 put behind bars.
(I squint as the ally fills with light)
ENFORCER
(to KAGE)
Freeze mister! You're coming with us!
KAGE
(Turning slowly my paws held out to the sides of my body)
Ah, enforcers -- just the people I wanted to see. There two
punks on the ground behind these burning barrels. They where just
mugging this solid katizen here.
ENFORCER
(in a snide tone of voice)
Really, SWAT Kat -- but were much more interested in you,
T-Bone. Aren't we Murphy?
("Murphy" nods)
KAGE
(Laughing)
T-Bone. You Think I'm T-Bone!
MURPHY
Book'em, Dan.
KAGE
Hey, guys -- this is all a big misunderstanding . . .
(I seeing stars as the small kat behind him hits him in the back of
the neck with the lid from a garbage can)
Unggh.
**Later, at enforcer HQ**
KAGE
(Moaning as I regained consciousness I opened my
eyes to find myself on a cot in an enforcer holding cell)
Hey -- who's out there? What am I being charged with? Hello?
ENFORCER
(from outside the cell)
Hmm. He's awake better -- get Commander Feral.
KAGE
Huh? Guess they really do think I'm T-Bone. How could they
from what I've seen I'm several inches taller and considerably better
looking.
(thinking : I bet I can use that line on Feral)
(Several minutes later the commander arrives)
FERAL
SO, T-BONE, *I've* finally got you! What have you to say for
yourself? I'm gonna make you work off every cent in property damage
that you've done in my city!
KAGE
Heh heh. Feral, you've got it wrong. I'm not T-bone. I don't
even look like T-bone!
FERAL
That so, SWAT Kat? Well, you look like T-bone to me!
KAGE
Hey, I'm not even a SWAT Kat! I mean, wouldn't I need a jet
for that or something?
FERAL
If you don't have a jet then why are you wearing a flight
helmet hmm, SWAT kat?
KAGE
Hey -- it's a momento its been in my car for almost two years
-- ever since I got back to Megakat city. Besides which, why would a
SWAT kat stoop to stopping a mugging and where is the property damage
a SWAT kat would have caused? Well, Feral?
FERAL
You're right -- that is odd. I've never known you not to blow
at least something up, T-Bone.
KAGE
Sheesh -- will you stop calling me that, Commander? It's not
exactly a compliment. You know I mean. Just because I've been a
mercenary for six of the last eight years doesn't mean that I've
blown up half of a city.
FERAL
If you're a mercenary then prove it -- you must have a
service jacket or something.
KAGE
(Shudders tears welling up in his eyes)
S-sorry, Feral. The missions I flew were confidential and
even if they weren't, I'm retired and my jacket would have been
shredded by now.
FERAL
Then what proof do you have that you're not T-Bone?
KAGE
Well, you could check the dates of my residency at my current
abode. I've only lived there a little less than 2 years and the SWAT
kats have been active for a lot longer than that.
FERAL
True, but you could have just moved. That doesn't prove that
you weren't in Megakat City, just that you did live there.
KAGE
Then I don't know what to tell you, commander -- just that I
hope you believe me, because if you try me for T-Bone's crimes it
will ruin me forever, even though you wouldn't be able to convict me.
FERAL
Hmm . . . that doesn't sound like the T-Bone I know. Why
don't you take off your little momento and let me get a decent look
at you?
KAGE
What can you give me in return? I mean, I can't believe that
it hasn't already come off, or that this won't spread to the
newspapers by the end of the day.
FERAL
Well, SWAT Kat -- I could just take it off myself, and then
you wouldn't even get the pleasure of showing me your true identity.
KAGE
Let's make a deal, Feral -- you cover up the security cams in
the corners of my cell, close the door and the window, order your men
back so they won't see, and promise not to I.D. me until after the
trial -- and then only if I'm convicted, and I'll take off my helmet
and tell you who I really am.
FERAL
Why should I make promises like that, SWAT Kat? Tell me, I'm
curious.
KAGE
Well, because I'm a hardened ex-mercenary who came to Megakat
city to start a new life, because that was only the second act of
"vigilantism" that I've ever committed. The other was about a week
ago. I just broke up another mugging because I was going to let your
enforcers take me anyway, even before that creep I just saved knocked
me out -- and a few other good reasons that escape me at this moment.
FERAL
Well, I admit that you're certainly not acting like T-Bone,
but that's still not good enough.
KAGE
Well, then how about this?
(standing up and jumping at the same time to
bring his paws from his backside to his front in one single motion)
If you don't make my deal and prevent this nonsense from
ruining my fiscal career, you're gonna have to take it yourself and
your sorry little stun guns aren't going to knock me down like your
run of the mill criminals.
FERAL
So you think you can beat me with your paws cuffed, huh SWAT
kat? Well, then come on!
KAGE
Oh, I don't know about that . . .
(twisting paws in an unusual way and taking of the
now open cuffs)
But you want to bet that I can't make getting this helmet off
without my permission a painful ordeal -- worth a lot less than I
would cost you?
FERAL
Hmm, SWAT Kat -- impressive, but doing that makes me think
that there's more to you then you let on.
KAGE
Well, there is -- but it' s not what you think and I don't
want anyone to know about it. It's kinda private
FERAL
Then if I make your deal -- and you still haven't convinced
me to do any such thing -- you're gonna tell me about it?
KAGE
I can't -- it's too personal and itos what I came to Megakat
City to get away from.
FERAL
Then you saying it's illegal, SWAT Kat.
KAGE
No such thing, Feral -- just painful and besides which, it's
level 5 top secret. That means that I'd have to kill you if I told
you, but I will say that I screwed up and lost the best friends I've
ever had because of it.
(eyes tear up agin)
FERAL
That's still not enough to make me agree to your
stipulations, SWAT Kat.
KAGE
Well, then how about this?
(pulls out a piece of fur from his tail and holds
it up for Feral's inspection)
FERAL
So how does that affect your situation, SWAT Kat? What, that
you can pull out fur and say we abused you?
KAGE
No, Feral -- if this were fur that probably wouldn't have
much effect would it.
FERAL
Then what is it, SWAT Kat?
KAGE
Oh, nothing much -- just a neutron detonator. Oh and by the
way, pulling it out like that just armed it.
FERAL
So it's a bomb it's so small that it probably wouldn't kill
even you let alone me, SWAT Kat.
KAGE
If it were a normal bomb, you're probably right -- but this
"bomb" as you want to call it works like a giant Microwave and since
its powered by Netoium It'll Make every living thing within a radical
mile run a feaver a big feaver about a 1000 degrees.
FERAL
I don't believe you, SWAT Kat.
(turning to the door Guard)
Get Me Hackle.
(a little more then a minute later the guard returns with a phone)
FERAL
Prof. Hackle -- This is Commander Feral. Here I've got a Kat
in my holding cell that says he's got a bomb the size of the first
joint on my little finger that will level every thing with in a
radical square mile.
HACKLE
Well, my my -- that's highly unlikely. The only thing I know
of that could do anything like that is a neutron detonator and that
would have to have a very special power source to do anything like
that.
FERAL
Hold on a sec, prof -- I'll ask him what he said it was made
of again.
(looking up)
Well, SWAT kat -- what did you say it was made of again?
KAGE
Netoium and I said it would kill everthing not blow it up. Oh
by the way, Feral -- it goes off in just over 2 min.
FERAL
(Back at the phone)
Did you hear him, Prof?
HACKLE
Yes, yes I did -- and it sounds like he's telling you the
truth. A Netoium bomb would really do that, terrible, just terrible.
Where does all of this violence come from?
FERAL
Thanks Prof. I have to talk to this mad man now
(hangs up and pulls his blaster pointiong it at Kage.)
Why don't you just disarm that and give it to me, Now!
KAGE
(Walks up to the table grabs the pad of paper that was placed there for his
intergator to take notes, and quickly scribles somthing down, then flips the pad
over and drops the bomb into a pocket on his trench coat.)
FERAL
What are you doing, SWAT Kat? I said give me that bomb, Now my niece
is in this bulding and there's no way in hell your gonna kill her!
(voice trembling with rage)
KAGE
(Walks up to Feral ingnroing the gun untill it is less
then a few inches from his chest, moves quickly grabs not at the gun
but at Ferals arm pulling the gun forward untill it stops righ over
his heart.)
Go ahead kill me, I don't really care, I even made it easy for
you I wrote down how to disarm the bomb on that peice of paper, just
pull the triger and you can save your niece, that is if you can kill me
in cold blood.
FERAL
(Shaking and trembling he seems a hair short of pulling the trigger)
Your taking an awful risk, SWAT Kat. How do you know I won't just
shot you?
KAGE
That's becuse I know about honor, Feral. I had honor once, and I know
that you'll lose yours if you just kill me becuse deep down I know you
believe me, youd be long gone if you didn't.
FERAL
(Lowers the blaser to his side)
Fine, whoever you are -- just stop the bomb.
KAGE
Deal -- if you'll swear on your family's honor that you
personally will check out my story an, guarantee that you'll keep my
identity a secret even from your fellow enforcers -- even from your
niece, and that you'll keep off the records you find off the
record.
FERAL
Fine deal, SWAT Kat. Now, disarm your bomb and give it to me.
KAGE
(Clicking a few buttons then tossing the bomb to feral who turns white as he
catches it)
Oh, by the way Feral you had 7 seconds left.
(Sits down nochantly)
FERAL
(Tells the door gaurd to back off and cover up the cameras)
Fine, SWAT Kat -- You have my word of honor and my family's
pledge of honor that I won't give your identity away. Unless this
isn't really a bomb -- then all bets are off, SWAT Kat.
KAGE
The deal has been made Feral -- see that you stick to it.
(Takes of his helmet) Now you've seen my face and got your bomb. And now for
the rest of the bargain : my name Is Michael M. McKatson I live at 210
West Boulevard and the records I have are in a safe in the floor under my
bed. It's in the master bedroom. You should have no trouble finding it. It's
the really big one.
______________________________________________________________________________
A little break here for the heck of it. And for a qoute from Kage
The Painful warrior famoused for fight,
After a thousand victories, once foiled,
Is from the books of honour razed quite,
And all the rest forgot for wich he toil'd.
Sonnet 25
______________________________________________________________________________
FERAL
(to door guard)
Guard that door well and keep the prisoner there. Don't
let them take him for identification. And don't mess that up!
**Later, at the crime lab**
FERAL
Well, is it what that wacko claimed it was?
DEMOLITIONS EXPERT
Yes, I'd say it is. It's incredible, sir. I can't even get
into it without seting it off, but I would say that this is most
defiently the most advanced explosive device that I've ever seen, who
ever made it must have been an genius plus the metals in this
"bomb" -- it's really to advanced to call it that -- are worth
several hundred thousand dollars.
FERAL
Hmm . . .I wonder where that vigilante got that kind of
money, or if he just stole it.
DEMOLITIONS EXPERT
No, sir -- this is not from any for the weapons firms or the
gov't. It'd have markings on it, this was either custom built . . .
FERAL
Or what?
DEMOLITIONS EXPERT
The vigilante you caught built it himself. Either way, it's
worth about $300,000 dollars.
FERAL
That much?
DEMOLITIONS EXPERT
Yes, sir.
(Feral storms off)
**Later in the holding cell**
(Slamming open door to cell Feral enters)
FERAL
You certainly look comfortable, SWAT Kat.
KAGE
Not Really Feral oh and would you knock it off with the SWAT
Kat bit? Sheesh, it's getting about old enough.
FERAL
Well, I went to your house and read through your records. It
looks like there's pretty good prof that you're not T-Bone, but
There's still enough to send this to trial. Oh, by the way, SWAT Kat,
you're being put on trial tomorrow. The lawyers want this done
A.S.A.P. and there's not too much I can do about it.
KAGE
Hmm, well then Feral -- if you really believe me leak the
fact that I'm being put on trial to the newspapers.
FERAL
Wait, SWAT Kat -- I thought you wanted this kept secret!
KAGE
I do, Feral -- my identity at least -- but if you leak this
to the papers I'd bet half my fortune that the Real SWAT Kats will
show up at the trial, and then this trial would be pretty much over
wouldn't it?
FERAL
Clever, SWATK Kat. Very clever, but what if your idea doesn't
work?
KAGE
Then it'll take me a while longer to get free, but that's not
important as long as you keep my identity a secret.
FERAL
Why don't you want people to know your name swat kat?
KAGE
I'm a business kat and it'd ruin me all my contacts wouldn't
think of me as a rulthess entrupner any more they'd think of me as a
joke and I'd never recover.
FERAL
True, but you seem to have more than enough money secreted
away for the rest of your life.
KAGE
Yeah, I do. But how would you like to have people point at
you every were you go, to have your privacy continually invaded? See
my point, Feral?
FERAL
Yes, I think I do, SWAT Kat.
KAGE
Oh and by the way Feral don't bother setting a trap for the Swat Kats they are
doing me a favor if they show up after all!
**The next morning at the Salvage yard**
JAKE
Hey, Chance -- you'd better take a look at this!
CHANCE
What is it? I'm watching Scardy Kat!
JAKE
(Dropping news paper into chances lap)
You made the front page, buddy!
CHANCE
Huh . . .
(picks up news paper and reads a little of the article)
Poor guy, considering the way Feral feels about us. We've got
to help him -- but how?
JAKE
Well, I figure the SWAT Kats ought to put in an appearance at
the trial. It's scheduled for today -- in about half an hour.
CHANCE
Jake, you're brillant. Let's go.
**back at the holding cell**
GUARD
Come on, creep -- you don't want to be late for you trial!
(laughs)
KAGE
Hey, not so rough there, buddy. It's not like I'm cuffed. I
could get upset if you don't lay off.
GUARD
Wadda you mean you're not cuffed you're supposta be?
KAGE
Yeah, well, I didn't like the enforcer accesories so I took
them off.
GUARD
How?
KAGE
That's nor really any of your business -- but let's just say
that a child could get out of those cuffs.
GUARD
Sheesh -- well, put 'em back on . I don't want to get fired
and if you don't have cuffs on I probably will be.
KAGE
Fine -- just lay off a little bit. It's not like I killed
your family or something.
GUARD
All right. Just get those cuffs back on before someone sees
you without them!
KAGE
(Clicking cuffs back onto his paws)
Fine -- now lead the way my good man.
GUARD
All right. It's just across the street.
**at the arringment**
JUDGE
Well, mister kat -- since you won't tell us who you are and
Commander Feral won't I.D. you for some mysterious reason, I have no
choice but . . .
(stops as the rumble of a jet engine penetrates her court
room)
Bailiff, check that out!
(T-bone and Razor wave from the TurboKat as the bailiff comes out.
Several people are now watching them)
FERAL
(as he exits the Court house)
So we don't have you after all, T-Bone.
T-BONE
Bingo, Commander. Why would you think that you caught me,
anyway? I meen whoever you caught doesn't I mean I'm way
better looking.
FERAL
You think so, SWAT Kat? Well, maybe you're right. Why don't
you take off your mask and let me decide?
T-BONE
Nice try Commander (his voice changes a little as he dose a poor imation of
Feral) What do you think I am -- Stupid? But why don't you tell me why you didn't I.D. the kat
you've got in there?
FERAL
Becuse we made a deal based on honor, somthing you wouldn't understand Swat
Kats!
T-BONE
I'm sure it took some fancy maneuvering to get you to make
that promise, Commander.
FERAL
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, SWAT KAT.
T-BONE
That bad huh, Feral -- well now that we've put a stop to this
farce we're out of here!
RAZOR
Yeah. See you later, Commander -- Much Later I hope!
(Jet leaves just as I get a good look at it)
KAGE
(to myself)
Incredible -- simply incredible. I've got to track them down.
(Judge slamms gavel against podium to regain control of court room)
JUDGE
ORDER ORDER!
(As crowd quiets down)
Now considering the recent events I'm going to have to let
the defendant go. Good-bye, mister, and try not to darken my doorstep
again.
(I run across the street dropping the cuffs about half way and hop
into my car)
KAGE
(to Feral)
Good-bye! I wish I could say it's been grand, but it hasn't.
I do owe you one, though. Oh yeah you can drop off my stuff any time if im not
there just leave it by the gate.
(My car accelerates in a puff of burnt rubber but stops accelerating
at the speed limit)
FERAL
Damn -- there goes a perfectly good excuse to bust that kat!
**A few minutes later Kage is in the hanger that is hidden under his
house. It used to belong to McKatson Tech and was used to store top
secret developmental jets**
(climbing into the cockpit of a black jet with purple trim and now
wearing an old black flight suit. There are serval out lines faintly
viable that suggest patches that have been removed)
KAGE
(to myself)
Boy, dad I'm sure glad you kept this hanger and its contents
a secret.
(Grin as I close the canopy)
You really out did yourself with this one, dad. I just wish
you could see it now that it's finished.
(pressing several buttons that open the concealed hanger door and
launch the jet using a massive catapult system)
KAGE
Now where are those SWAT Kats -- I haven't even said thinks
yet.
(Looks at radar screen)
Hmm . . .there they are. Good thing they haven't moved
too much yet! Must be on patrol.
(Thrusts forward on the accelerator and grunts as the G's throw me
back int the command chair.)
**about a minute later**
RAZOR
Hey, T-bone -- looks like we've got company!
T-BONE
Where, little buddy? There's nothing on radar.
RAZOR
Look up.
T-BONE
(looking up)
Well, well -- what do you know? Maybe Feral was closer than
he thought.
RAZOR
Yeah, it does look like the guy from the newspaper.
T-BONE
Well, what do you think, Razor? Is he any good?
RAZOR
Yeah, T-bone -- I think he's pretty good considering that
he's flying with you upside down less than a foot away from our
cockpit at mach 2 and is giving us a paws up sign -- which means he's
only got one paw on the controls.
T-BONE
True -- but whattaya say we play some canyon tag and find out
just how good he really is?
KAGE
(voice on the intercom)
Sure, T-bone, but let's take it outside town -- and by the
way you can call me . . .
(slight pause)
Kage.
T-BONE
Sure thing, Kage. How long have you been listing in on our com chanle?
KAGE
Oh, not to long
(TurboKat accelerates away from the black jet)
KAGE
Hmm -- looks like they want to play fast. Good.
(black jet accelerates after TurboKat)
T-BONE
Well, buddy -- is he still there?
RAZOR
Oh yeah, T-bone -- he's still there. And he's gaining on you
for that matter.
T-BONE
Hmm . . . I wonder what he's got under the hood. Well, hang
on buddy. We're hitting the desert test run.
RAZOR
At mach 4 -- are you nuts, T-bone?!
T-BONE
Nope. You just leave the flying to me!
RAZOR
Oh Sheesh, T-bone.
(Blacking out from the high G bank into the canyon)
KAGE
Hmm . . . they're good.
(grunting From the sudden lateral G's as his jet enters the run)
T-BONE
(to Razor)
Well, buddy -- is he still there? Razor?
(looks back)
Man, he must have Blacked out.
(banks jet to avoid a spire of rock and sees Kage)
Man, he's still there. This guy is good!
(Barrel rolling plane around the rock spire and through the arch. The
TurboKat went around. Kage draws even with T-bone)
KAGE
(over intercom)
Very impressive, T-Bone -- you're almost as good as they say
you are.
T-BONE
Oh yeah, Kage? You ain't seen nothing yet!
(pulls up and flies over a bend in the canyon as the mystery jet
flies around it. T-bone regains the lead)
KAGE
Excellent, T-Bone -- I'm impressed.
T-BONE
Yeah, well -- you should be!
(snarls as mystery jet kicks in after burner and scoots
into the lead going right underneath him)
KAGE
But I'm still the best!
(banks around corner at such high speed that his wing tip
touches it, giving the lead back to T-Bone)
Shit -- that wasn't suppose to happen!
T-BONE
Yeah. Looks like you goofed up, Kage and I don't think your
gonna win now.
(Accelerates down final straight away of run towards a
cliff wall)
KAGE
(Cutting in after burner and caching t-bone at the very
end of the canyon as both jets pull up)
True, but it doesn't look like I lost, either.
T-BONE
No, it doesn't, Kage. I'll admit that you're incredible --
seeing as that's the only way you could have tied me.
KAGE
Fine -- and I'll admit that your as good as they say. Hey,
you want to get together later?
T-BONE
Not at my place. I don't trust you that much yet, but if you
want to get together at yours, just tell me where it is.
KAGE
Sure. I don't think you'll give me away. It's at 210 West.
Boulevard.
T-BONE
Hey, that's very rich neighborhood, so is your money clip as big
as your ego.
KAGE
Bigger, but my neigbors still don't like me for some reason, stop by
any time tomorrow -- at 2 will be fine. If the neighbors complain I'll
just tell them that you're actors and I was thinking of producing a SWAT
Kats Movie or something.
T-BONE
Sure, sure -- listen, I'm getting low on fuel so I gotta go
back to the hanger, but I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
RAZOR
(waking up)
So did you kick his tail, T-bone?
T-BONE
No, sleepy head. I didn't. What's the idea -- taking a nap
like that?
RAZOR
You know what happens to me at high g's T-Bone. We did win,
didn't we?
T-BONE
No, Razor. We didn't.
(some anger in his voice)
RAZOR
You mean he won?
T-BONE
No Razor, he didn't.
(starts to laugh)
RAZOR
So what happened?
T-BONE
We tied, Razor. We tied.
RAZOR
Really? You must be slipping!
T-BONE
Hardly. In fact, we both broke the record run by 10 seconds.
RAZOR
Whoa -- then he must be incredible!
T-BONE
He is, Razor. I've never seen another pilot that good, except
for me, of course. I'd just love to know where he learned to fly like that,
Pilots that good don't grow on trees you know.
RAZOR
Well, what else? Did you invite him to join or what?
T-BONE
No, but we're going over to his house for lunch tomorrow.
RAZOR
Really? Where is that?
T-BONE
210 West Bulevard. Real ritzy place, if I remember correctly.
RAZOR
Did you get a good look at his jet, T-bone? It was
incredible! I've never seen anything quite like it and I can't
believe it didn't show up on our radar.
T-BONE
Come on, Razor -- you must know about stealth technology.
RAZOR
Yeah, I do, but I modified our radar to pick up most stealth
signals.
T-BONE
His jet must be Radar asorbant or something. Well,
sleepy-head -- why don't you ask him tomorrow?
(Jet lands)
RAZOR
Fine -- I will, but for now, don't you need to be fixing
Deputy Mayor Briggs' car?
T-BONE
Yeah, yeah -- I'll get right on it, Jake. Whatever you say.
* The End *
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