Original SWAT Kats Story

Two Much of a Good Thing

By Jade F. Callan & Don Redmond

  • 1 Chapter
  • 5,053 Words

There’s a sudden creepling population problem in Megakat City, when suddenly all the golf balls start disappearing . . .

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Author's Notes:

by Jade F. Callan and Don Redmond, who dedicate this story to each other – and to their assorted cats!

Unknown to most citizens of MegaKat City, there was a vast cave system under the area where the Municipal Golf Course was located. Cave explorers had combed through much of the cave system, but had not found the part of the system under the golf course. However, someone had.

In a darkened cavern, walls covered with various pieces of electronic equipment, Dark Kat lurched out of the shadows. He was so intent on walking over to the computer console that he didn’t see the creeplings underfoot and tripped over one of them. As he got up he looked around the cavern and realized that there were more creeplings in the room than he has ever seen before. He wound his way through the mass of creeplings, pushing a few out of the way, and sat down at the computer console. He found he can’t concentrate and cannot, at first, figure out why. Eventually he realized that it is the constant chittering of the creeplings that is distracting him. With a growl, Dark Kat turned again to survey the mass of creeplings in the cavern.

“Shut up, will you!” he thundered in vain, covering his ears with his paws.

**********************************************************

Chance carefully set his socket wrench off to the side and stood up straight, rubbing the small of his back with a moan, “That should do it, buddy,” he called to Jake, who was sitting in the driver’s seat of Callie’s large green car, “Turn her over, and let’s see what we got,” Chance stepped away from the open hood of the car.

“You got it,” Jake reached down and twisted the keys in the ignition, and the car growled to life, “Sounds good, Chance.”

“Yeah,” Chance lowered the hood and grinned at his partner, “Now, can we have breakfast? I’m starving, and you’re the one who promised this jalopy to Callie so early!”

Jake laughed as he turned off the engine, “Sorry, but maybe if you had been home to talk to her, you could have convinced her it wasn’t such an emergency,” he got out of the car and walked over to Chance.

“A likely excuse,” Chance shot back, knowing full well he would have probably agreed to Callie’s demands like Jake had.

“Maybe, but the fact remains, I got to see her and you didn’t.”

“You’re mean before you have your coffee, aren’t you, Jake?”

“Then I guess we’d better go get breakfast, huh?”

Both smiling, the pair headed upstairs to the kitchen.

**********************************************************

Callie stifled a yawn as Mayor Manx lined up his next shot. She hated golf, and she hated getting out of bed early to watch Manx play golf even more. She was stuck here with him, however, until he finished his game and took her over to the garage to pick up her car. Leaning against the golf cart parked behind her, Callie watched the mayor tap the ball with his putter. The ball rolled to within inches of the hole, then stopped.

“Drat!!” Mayor Manx cried, stomping his foot, “So close!”

“It’s all right, Mayor,” Callie told him, “I won’t tell if you want to take an extra shot.”

Before Manx could respond, a small arm reached up out of the hole and grabbed the golf ball, yanking it down into the depths of the hole. Manx and Callie could only look from the hole to each other in amazement. When they looked up again they saw two golf carts on a collision course. The drivers and passengers were screaming at each other and at the world. Every now and then Callie could make out some words.

“Demons! … The golf course is haunted … Demons ate my golf balls …”

When the two carts crashed into one another with a terrible sound of rending metal Manx jumped in his cart as Callie went to the accident.

“I’ll get help.”

With that the Mayor was off toward the clubhouse leaving Callie to do what she could for the accident victims. Fortunately no one was seriously hurt beyond cuts, bruises and one broken arm.

As she tended to the victims she asked them what had happened and found that it was much the same that had occurred to Manx’s golf ball. A hand had reached out of the hole and snatched the ball. One group claimed to see a head and the description was close enough to make her realize these were probably creeplings. But what would creeplings want with golf balls? It did not matter at this point because where creeplings went Dark Kat was sure to follow.

Callie automatically reached for her handbag to call the Swat Kats when she realized that she’d left it on the cart that the Mayor had so thoughtfully absconded with. Of course, she wasn’t sure what the Swat Kats could do at this point in time, but she was sure that they would like to know that Dark Kat was on the prowl again. Callie hoped that some help would arrive soon and that Manx hadn’t just left the links but the course as well. Then how would she get to her car? The more she thought about it, the more she thought that perhaps she just should have taken a cab out to the salvage yard to pick up her car.

**********************************************************

Chance watched as Jake settled into his chair at the table, coffee mug in hand, “Feel better now?”

“Some,” Jake conceded, “Wanna watch the news?”

“Might as well,” Chance walked over and flipped on the TV, and then returned to the kitchen to get his own coffee.

“This just in,” Ann Gora’s voice filled the room, and her pretty face filled the TV screen, “There seems to be some mysterious problem in the city sewer system. The Public Works Office claims they are on the case, and it will be resolved shortly. In other news, theres been a rash of golf ball thefts in the city this morning. Several have disappeared from local sporting goods stores, as well as right out from under several golfers at the Megakat Golf Course. We will keep on top of this story and give updates when more news becomes available.”

Jake looked over at Chance, “Golf balls?”

Chance shrugged, “Mayor Manx is going to be quite unhappy.”

**********************************************************

Dark Kat left the computer console in despair as he just couldn’t work. As he looked around at all the creeplings he saw that there were way too many and they were driving him crazy. He decided he had to check on the hatchery.

As he walked down the dark hallway to the hatchery the number of creeplings grew in density. When he came to the hatchery Dark Kat almost couldn’t push his way through the mob of creeplings to get to the machinery. As Dark Kat looked at the vats he saw that creeplings were continuing to be produced. This was suppose to be impossible since he was the only one who could turn on the process to create creeplings. Now they continued to step out of the vat on their own.

Dark Kat worked his way over to the control console and took off the cover. After rooting around amongst the wiring he discovered the problem: one of the specialized relays was burnt out. He got out of the hatchery and made his way back to the computer console. There he searched for places he could steal the desired relay. After all he couldn’t just walk in and buy one. Of course, since he would soon be ruler of MegaKat City it mattered little what he stole.

He discovered that the relay was only manufactured by Pumadyne’s electronics subsidiary and hacking into their computer system he found that they had some in stock. Unfortunately the electronics outfit was just down the street from the main Pumadyne facility. This would undoubtedly bring in the Enforcers, but no matter. The Enforcers were child’s play.

**********************************************************

As Commander Feral was going over the day’s reports his phone rang.

“Commander, there is someone down at the front desk who wants to see you.”

“Send them up.”

“I think you should come down here.”

Feral was both angry at having to leave his office and glad for getting an interruption in the reading of the day’s reports. All this nonsense about golf balls was driving him a bit batty.

He had no idea who he was going to see, but when he stepped off the elevator who he saw was not whom he ever thought he’d see. It was Dark Kat with his head bowed.

“Dark Kat?”

“Ah, Commander Feral.” There was on Dark Kat’s face something that might possibly be a smile. “I have come to give myself up. I can’t think. I can’t work in the conditions I’m in. I must have some quiet.”

Feral looked at his old adversary and then he too smiled. He turned to the desk sergeant. “Read him his rights and then put him in with Silent Kelly.” He turned back to Dark Kat. “I hope you like our accommodations. He then turned and went back up to his office.

Five minutes later his phone rang. “Commander, you did say to put Dark Kat in with Kelly, didn’t you?”

“That’s right.”

“But Kelly will talk Dark Kat’s ears off.”

“Yes, I know.” Feral hung up the phone and settled into his chair for a good two minute laugh.

**********************************************************

Jake looked up from the newspaper he was reading and checked the time. Callie should have been there over an hour ago to get her car. He wondered what was keeping her. Putting the paper down on the table, Jake ambled out into the living room, where Chance was lounging on the couch, reading a book on aircraft from MegaWar II.

“Hey, Chance,” Jake said, “Callie’s late. Wonder what’s up?”

“Huh?” Chance looked up from his book, “Oh, she probably got delayed by some official duty. I’m sure she’ll call.”

“You don’t think there’s more to these golf ball thefts than meets the eye, do you?”

“What would Callie want with golf balls?”

Jake shook his head, “No, not connected with Callie! I mean, just in general.”

“Turn on the news and see if there’s anything more about it,” Chance handed Jake the remote, then sat up on the couch, setting his book on the coffee table.

Jake switched on the TV, and, sure enough, there was Ann Gora, with a live feed from the golf course.

“This is Ann Gora, here with Deputy Mayor Briggs. Deputy Mayor, can you tell us what is going on here?”

“Well, Ann, we’re not really sure at the moment. Commander Feral and The Enforcers are looking into the situation, but there have been no leads as of this time,” Callie smiled into the camera.

“I see. When can we expect more information, Deputy Mayor?”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something,” Callie promised her, then turned to a kat who was begging for her attention.

“This is Ann Gora, Katseye News.”

Jake shut off the TV and looked at Chance, “What is it about these golf balls that are so special?” he mused.

“Do you want to go have a look?” Chance wondered.

“Not yet. This is just all too weird,” Jake gave Chance back the remote and headed back out to the kitchen, “At least we finally know why she’s late.”

**********************************************************

The creeplings milled about the caverns with one single purpose in mind – to find the new projectile weapon Dark Kat had been working so hard on. They knew it had to be around here somewhere. With singleness of purpose, the creeplings began to scour every inch of the katacombs, determined to find the weapon.

**********************************************************

Mayor Manx was on a mission so serious that he could not entrust this to anyone but himself. Not even the Deputy Mayor would be able to handle this one. He had found a sporting goods store that still carried golf balls, in fact they still carried his favorite brand of golf balls. Manx was planning on buying them out.

Manx was just going to pull into the store’s parking lot when the kathole cover exploded into the air in front of him. He slammed on the brakes and watched as the cover fall back to earth and embed itself in the hood of his car. Even more astounding was what followed the exploding kathole cover out of the sewer.

Bubbling up from the sewer was a horde of creeplings, and it didn’t take Manx long to realize that they were heading for the sporting goods store. They were going to steal his golf balls! Manx reached for the car phone and called Enforcer Headquarters.

“Feral? This is Mayor Manx. I am at the Nattily Attired Sporting Goods Store and there are creeplings everywhere stealing all of the golf balls! I want it stopped! Now!”

Manx slammed the phone down and waited until the creeplings had all gone back to the sewer. He got out of the remains of his car and went to the store. It was in a shambles. Manx waded through the debris to the golf section and to his relief there was a package of golf balls lying on the floor. It wasn’t the best, or his favorite brand, but at this point beggars couldn’t be choosers.

**********************************************************

Commander Feral put his head in his paws and sighed. It had already been a long day, and it wasn’t even time for lunch yet. What in blue blazes would any kat, or creepling for that matter, want with masses of golf balls? This was just all too strange. Picking up the phone, Feral called down to check on Dark Kat. Hearing that all was not well, he decided the time had come to talk to his rather large prisoner about the reason for his presence – and also to see if Dark Kat could shed some light on this golf ball mess. Rising out of his chair, Commander Feral stalked from his office with a scowl.

**********************************************************

Chance, though he had returned to his book, had switched the TV on low for some background noise. Another report by Ann Gora caught his eye, and he reached for the remote to turn up the sound, calling to Jake at the same time.

“….is Ann Gora, Katseye News. There has been another incident involving the disappearance of golf balls in Megakat City. With me now is Mayor Manx. Mr. Mayor, can you tell me what happened?”

“You see, Ann, I had just arrived here,” he gestured to the damaged store behind them, “when hoards of those nasty little creatures began to ransack the shop. I have called Commander Feral, and I am sure the Enforcers will control this menace. I, however,” Manx held aloft a package of golf balls, “was lucky enough to…..Ack!” The Mayor’s voice trailed off into a shriek as an arm reached over his shoulder to snatch the package of golf balls out of his hand. Both he and Ann turned to see a creepling scamper back into the sewer.

“I really don’t like the looks of that, bud,” Chance observed, sitting up and looking back at Jake as he turned off the TV.

Me neither. Shall we go?” Jake turned on his heel and headed to the hanger access hatch. Without another word, Chance followed him.

**********************************************************

The creeplings in the caverns squealed in delight. They had found the weapon they had been searching for. Gleefully, they moved the weapon out to the center of the cavern, and began to load it with golf balls. Now was their time, and this was their ticket to anywhere! The Enforcers didn’t stand a chance!

**********************************************************

Commander Feral stomped back into his office, reading the letter Dark Kat had left for him in the cell. The large felon had managed to escape, leaving Kelly to talk to himself. The letter explained to Feral why Dark Kat had been seeking silence – namely, a creepling population explosion. Well, thought Feral, that explains part of the problem. Now, why did those infernal creatures want all those golf balls? Bringing his fist down on the intercom, Feral ordered a strike force to assemble on the roof. He was determined to get to the bottom of this mess.

**********************************************************

T-Bone brought the jet around over the city, while Razor scanned the ground for signs of creeplings. So far, there was no sign of them.

“This is weird, T-Bone,” Razor said from the gunners seat, “There were so many of them, and now nothing.”

“Yeah, but we’re not alone up here,” T-Bone drew Razor’s attention to the squadron of Enforcer helicopters off to their right.

“Great,” Razor moaned, rolling his eyes.

**********************************************************

Dark Kat carefully entered the labyrinth of tunnels he called home, watchful for the creeplings. Not finding any in his immediate vicinity, he carefully sat down at the computer console and punched in his secret code. Finding one of his weapons missing, he groaned and slapped his forehead with his hand. They were completely out of control. No answer for this except to lie low until someone else sorted this mess out. Getting up out of the chair, he slunk off into the shadows, chuckling to himself. It would be just payback to Feral, dealing with those creeplings, for putting him in a cell with that motormouth Kelly.

**********************************************************

“Would you mind telling me what you two vigilantes are doing up here in the middle of an Enforcer investigation?” Feral asked, his voice quite frosty.

“Probably looking for the same thing you are, Commander,” T-Bone snapped, as Razor activated his x-ray scope.

“You two stay out of the way! The Enforcers will handle this!” Feral boomed.

T-Bone rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before.”

“Hey! I think I found something!” Razor called, his eyes still on the x-ray scope.

“What’s up, buddy?” T-Bone ignored Feral for the moment.

“There seems to be some kind of tunnel system under the golf course,” Razor told them, “It’s quite extensive, and runs under much of the city as well.”

“Probably how those creeplings got to all those sporting goods stores,” T-Bone mused, “Any idea where the creeplings are, Razor?”

“Uh, lemme look…,” Razor adjusted the controls of the x-ray scope, “Bingo! They are on bearing one-zero-niner.”

“You got it!” T-Bone swung the jet around, and brought it onto the course Razor had suggested. The Enforcers, Feral in the lead followed close behind.

**********************************************************

The Enforcers and Swat Kats had traced Dark Kat and his creeplings back to the cave system. Feral ordered the Enforcers to fan out through the various tunnels in the cave system. The Swat Kats hid in the shadows hoping Feral would ignore them even though it was their x-ray camera that had led both groups here.

Using some of Razor’s portable telemetry gear the Swat Kats were able to track a band of creeplings as they crept through the criss-crossing caves. At one point, after crawling through some muddy passages, T-Bone turned to his partner.

“Are you sure we’re not just chasing bats again? It sure sounds like bats.”

“Not this time. Bats are warm blooded, creeplings are not.”

“I hope this gets us somewhere fairly soon. A kat could get claustrophobic down here after awhile.”

Suddenly the chittering, which had almost been a background noise, was getting louder, much faster. As the Swat Kats rounded a corner they saw a mass of creeplings, more than they had ever seen before. They were everywhere, and they were coming straight at them.

**********************************************************

The Enforcers had started out in separate tunnels and slowly seemed to be meeting up with each other as they went farther into the caves. At one point the tunnel widened into a great hallway, though not a very high one, and when Feral looked back at his troops he realized that all of the Enforcers were now together again. Even better, those pesky Swat Kats were nowhere to be seen.

The group of Enforcers walked down the hallway, guns at the ready. Suddenly a golf ball went flying barely over their heads. When it hit the ceiling it took down a large chunk of rock with it. Then one of the Enforcers got hit in the flak jacket on a ricochet and had the wind knocked out of her. Soon golf balls were bouncing all through the tunnel with great force.

Feral ordered everyone down to present the smallest target and as he looked ahead he saw a great gun in front of them. It was covered with creeplings and more kept bringing in fresh golf balls. As the Enforcers literally crept forward the creeplings started to drag the gun back with them even though they continued to keep firing at the Enforcers.

**********************************************************

At the sound of gunfire the creeplings that had been advancing on the Swat Kats, who were now hanging on the cave walls, turned and ran, as one, down a tunnel in the direction of the gunfire. Only a few creeplings were left behind to watch them and the Kats quickly disposed of them.

Rather than follow the horde of creeplings T-Bone and Razor went into an even larger cavern that many of the creeplings had been coming out of and inside they found a room full of electronic equipment and several large vats containing a viscous almost opaque liquid.

It wasn’t too opaque for T-Bone to see what lay at the bottom of one of them. He motioned Razor, who was at the control panels trying to see how things worked, over and both of them stared into the vat at the half formed creepling that lay on the bottom.

“This must be where Dark Kat manufactures these things. I say we trash it.”

“Roger that.”

The Swat Kats were gleefully destroying the equipment when there was the sound of a loud explosion and the walls, ground and ceiling began to shake. T-Bone lost his footing on the shaking earth and slipped in some of the slimy vat liquid. Razor went over to help his partner to his feet as a piece of equipment fell off the wall and in his direction.

**********************************************************

The Enforcers had finally backed the golf ball gun and its attendant creeplings against the wall of a large cavern that was lined with various types of electronic equipment. Suddenly a new horde of creeplings appeared from another side tunnel and made a beeline for the Enforcers.

One of the Enforcers fired at the golf ball gun and set its aim off. Instead of shooting at the Enforcers it fired several volleys at the ceiling of the cavern. Large chunks of rock fell and one of them hit the gun as well as others hitting the equipment. There was a small explosion at the gun and Feral looked up to see that cracks were developing all along the ceiling of the cavern.

Feral ordered his troops back along through the hallway they had come through. The creeplings followed them and then there was a large explosion that sent everyone off their feet and onto their backs on the ground. The tunnel was filled with dust and under the cover of the dust the Enforcers staggered out through the tunnel as the ground continued to shake.

The few creeplings that were following them now were easy to take care of and the only real trouble the Enforcers had was keeping on their feet. Eventually the ground stopped shaking and soon thereafter the Enforcers found themselves at the entrance to the caves.

**********************************************************

T-Bone yelled at his partner and Razor twisted out of the way. The equipment hit the floor and not the kat. The two kats picked themselves up and begun to run for their lives as the ground continued to shake. The tunnel the creeplings had gone done was now full of dust, and so the Swat Kats went back the way they had come.

Although the footing was treacherous for awhile as the ground continued to shake and some of the passages had narrowed as parts of the tunnels caved in the SWAT Kats managed to work their way out of the caves. When they came out into the sunshine they saw Feral looking after those Enforcers that had been injured.

“What are you two hotshots doing here?” Feral demanded, looking none too pleased with the latest arrivals, “I thought you were long gone.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Commander,” T-Bone snapped.

Before Feral could respond in kind, there was a rumble, and then a loud explosion. Everyone turned to see the labyrinth blow sky high.

“Take cover!” Feral ordered, somewhat unnecessarily. Mostly all the kats in the area had scooted under cover where they could find it. When the fireworks settled down, everyone looked to see what was left of the tunnels.

“Wow!” T-Bone said, speaking for all present. the area around them looked like a war zone, “At least we won’t be troubled by those creeplings anymore.”

“Why is it you two feel it necessary to completely obliterate whatever you are near?” Commander Feral roared, his face red.

“Why are you blaming us, Commander?” Razor asked, “It was probably that equipment Dark Kat was using that overheated. We didn’t set any charges.”

Feral looked like he was ready to explode, but, before he could comment, an Enforcer came up and asked what to do about the wounded. After answering the officer, Feral turned back to arrest the SWAT Kats, but they were gone.

**********************************************************

Dark Kat slowly emerged from his hiding place, glancing around at the destruction caused by the recent fight. It would take him a long time to repair the damage. With a sigh, he sat down on a pile of rubble. First on the agenda, he had to make more creeplings. Perhaps, he mused, I could postpone the rebuilding for a while.

**********************************************************

Commander Feral finished reading the last of the reports on the creepling incident. Adding Dark Kat’s letter to the file, he closed it with a look of relief. Who would have thought those little vermin could cause so much trouble? Leaning back in his chair, Commander Feral began to contemplate a very long vacation.

**********************************************************

Jake and Chance sank onto their couch with moans of weariness. It had been a long day. Chance was so tired, he didn’t even feel like watching Scaredy Kat cartoons.

“Hey, Jake, do you think Callie came to get her car yet?”

Probably not. Hopefully, she won’t come until tomorrow.”

“Let’s hope so. All I want now is a shower, a pizza, and a nap,” Chance groaned, getting up with difficulty and lumbering toward the bathroom. Jake thought about turning on the TV, but didn’t want to be tempted to try and save the city again today. Picking up the phone, he dialed the local pizza shop, and placed a huge order.

**********************************************************

Callie Briggs was once again with Mayor Manx on the golf course. He had sworn he would take her to the garage to get her car, but had stopped at the golf course to, as he put it, check on things, and had insisted the only way to make sure everything was all right was to play a round.

“Here we go, Callie,” Manx announced as he lined up a putt at the ninth hole.

Callie rolled her eyes. If he wasn’t the mayor, she would have strangled him. How did Mrs. Manx put up with this? She watched as Manx’s putt rolled just short of the hole.

“Not again!” Manx cried, disgusted.

As if to reinforce the statement, a small arm reached out of the hole, snatched the golf ball, and disappeared back down into the ground. Manx and Callie looked at each other with wide eyes.

“I didn’t see anything, did you, Callie?”

“Nope.”

The two left the golf course quickly, not hearing the giggling coming from beneath the ninth hole. It seemed some parts of the labyrinth had been spared, after all.

The End – sort of ?

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