Original SWAT Kats Story

A Secret Revealed

By DJ Clawson

  • 1 Chapter
  • 1,395 Words

A quickie. The SWAT Kats make a major discovery about their old enemy…

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“Razor! Where’s that missile?” T-Bone demanded, slamming his fist on the jet controls on the panel in front of him.

“Coming!” Razor returned frantically. “My targeting is off today. I’ll have to run a diagnostic when we get back to the hanger.”

T-Bone concentrated on staying on a straight path of flight, “Can’t worry about it now! Dark Kat’s getting away! Just aim and shoot!” Keeping up with Dark Kat’s jet was hard enough, and he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to keep the Turbokat in range for Razor’s shot.

“Need help, SWAT Kats?” came a friendly voice, as an enforcer jet flew up beside theirs.

“Just a little mechanical trouble, Lieutenant Feral,” Razor explained. He was keeping an eye on Dark Kat’s jet through his targeting screen while sorting through the wires of an exposed area of panel beneath his feet. “You’re welcome to take a shot and help us bag this creep.”

“My pleasure!” she replied gleefully. Slamming down on her own trigger, she fired, nailing the back tail of the villian’s ship.

Dark Kat’s ship immediately began to falter in flight, swinging widely in the air.

“Good shooting, Felina,” T-Bone remarked. “Razor, how’s it going back there?”

“I hope this works,” Razor slammed down on his controls. A missile-like device fired from the Turbokat, clipping onto the back of their enemy’s ship. “We got him now!”

They had little time to enjoy their success; Dark Kat’s ship took an unexpected turn upwards with tremendous speed.

“Maybe next time, SWAT Kats!” the deep voice laughed at them through the intercom as his ship disappeared into the clouds.

“Crud!” T-Bone clenched his fists. “He got away again!”

“Not quite, T-Bone,” Razor interjected. “I got a homing missile on him just in time. We can follow him to his base and take care of him for good!”

Felina’s voice came on over the radio, “Don’t think you’re leaving me out of this one!”

“Wouldn’t even try it, Felina,” T-Bone laughed. “Follow us!”


“Okay . . . quiet now, guys,” T-Bone ducked down, readying his glovatrix, and Razor did the same. Felina brought her gun to bare. They had followed Dark Kat’s ship deep into the mountains, then parked their vehicles and crept into the still-exposed cave before a metal door with the appearance of a rock wall from the outside shut behind them. Down a few hallways they could see a large and lighted cavern, which they were approaching now.

“Isn’t it odd that Dark Kat didn’t detect us so far?” Felina asked.

“This doesn’t seem to be one of his better nights,” Razor mentioned. “He already messed up on the nuclear missile heist. Maybe something’s wrong with his equipment.”

“Or he’s just off guard,” T-Bone slid up, peering into the room. “That’s just what we could use right now.”

Sneaking a peek in, they noticed a room filled with computer parts and equipment. Many creeplings were scampering around, pulling at this wire or that one, or just wrestling with each other playfully. Dark Kat, on the other paw, was mumbling and hard at work at some new device on the lab table.

“So what’s the plan?

T-Bone turned to Razor expectantly.

His partner shrugged, “I was thinking along the lines of a surprise attack.”

“Okay,” the burly kat crouched down for the pounce. “You guys take care of the creeplings. I’m going after Dark Kat!”

They hesitated for only a second before following him on a full charge. Dark Kat swung around, surprised of course to see the two SWAT Kats and the female enforcer facing him, armed and ready.

“Get them, my creeplings!” he commanded, ushering in a hoard of pink bat-like creatures from all sectors of the cave. Razor and Felina did their best to hold them back as T-Bone advanced on their real enemy.

Dark Kat was prepared. He moved into a defensive position, trying to find a secure area. T-Bone lunged at him, but it was wild and the larger kat caught the punch in his purple paw. The SWAT Kat tried to free himself, but it was like an iron fist had his paw tightly under control. In desperation, he flailed the other paw out and tore madly at Dark Kat’s large overcoat. His unretracted claws tore it instantly. Dark Kat howled and released T-Bone, using his free paw to rewrap the coat around his body.

“Huh?” T-Bone dropped to the ground. Noticing Dark Kat was in position of covering his front vitals, T-Bone saw an opening and slammed his fist into Dark Kat’s face. There was a clanging of fur against metal as Dark Kat’s face shook, and a small, metal box dropped out from under the purple face.

“Agh!” Dark Kat growled, but the voice had changed. It was now an entirely different pitch, not necessarily higher but not so booming. It sounded a bit like Orson Wells, in fact.

Razor took his attention off the creeplings he was netting to glance at the fallen villian, “What?”

Dark Kat stumbled back, falling to his knees. His robe was a mess, and there were sparks flying from all sides as shards of metal and wire dropped out from under him, “Back off, SWAT Kats!” The new voice sounded as if the person was the size of a creepling, however, and was not at the least bit intimidating.

“What is _this_?” T-Bone, curious, stepped forward towards him, not hesitating to finally tear back to robe entirely.

T-Bone’s mouth dropped. Razor gasped and lost insterest in the creeplings entirely, who were now for the most part taken care of. Felina and Razor joined T-Bone in shock.

Now freed of the robes and metal casing, the figure that was once the mighty Dark Kat was now revealed to be . . . two mice on a large pair of stilts. One of top of the other, the shorter one bore a huge head for his size, and the taller and slimmer one supported him on his shoulders.

“Narf!” said the second.

“This is _so_ humiliating,” said the first, the one with the oversized head who spoke with the respectable voice.

Razor blinked in amazement, “Does this mean that all this time Dark Kat — ”

” — was just a couple of lab mice?!”

“We’re not ordinary lab mice,” said the first. “We’re genetically enhanced rodents with the goal of world domination!” He announced proudly.

T-Bone smacked his lips, “Is that so?”

The first noticed it, “Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Maybe, Brain,” said the second, in an English accent. “But who tells the dandelions to close up right before the rain?”

“I’m sure we’ll be _happy_ to tell you,” Razor licked his own lips. “Right after _dinner_.”

Felina came between them and the lab mice, “Easy, guys. We need them for questioning first — that and their owners will probably want them back for more experimentation.”

“Or a barbeque.”

“Ooo — you think they’d go with steak sauce?”

Before the two kats could say more to scare the mice, Felina scooped the two ex-villians up and carried them off to her jet.

“Well, I guess that wraps that up.”

“Yeah, but I could really go for some nachos right now . . .”



Pinky spung happily on his wheel, now safely within his cage, “That was fun, Brain. But what are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“Same thing we do every night, Pinky,” Brain spoke, facing the window the lab. “Try to take over the world!”

The End?

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