TITLE: Jake’s Angel
AUTHOR: Cherry Koivula
DATE: January 6 2005
FINISHED: January 6 2005
RATING: G (I think)
SUMMARY: Jake meets his true love. (MarySue!Parody) (Feel free to change the summary)
DISCLAIMER: SWAT Kats and anything related to the series are property of Hanna-Barbara. No infringement is intended and no profit is gained with this fiction.
COMMENTS: After reading Sage’s and Puss’ fanfiction reviews on some of the many Swat Kats’ Mary Sue fics, I just thought, why not? So, I took the time and wrote this down. I tried to use every cliche I could remember, and this was the result. Hope you find it as amusing as I do.
It was a beautiful day in MegaKat City; the birds sang and the sun was shining.
Jake Clawson, a caramel/tan/dark brown/brown/orange/whatever tan-ish color you can come up with, furred kat was out fixing cars. He was doing this really fast, of course, since he was a genius with everything.
“Hey, Chance!” he called, “I want some help here. Not that I need it, of course, but it would be easier, plus I could brag about my intelligence while you stare out on space.”
“Nah,” Chance called back, “I’m too lazy. I’m watching some brain-dead cartoon I’ve seen one billion times. Plus, I’m too dumb to figure out how to get up from this couch. Really, it’s a big mystery that I managed to fly that darn jet, since my IQ is somewhere below ten.”
“Oh, too bad,” Jake said before continuing with working on the cars.
Suddenly, just then, a blue beautiful car stopped in front of him. Jake stared at the car.
“Ooooh… Ahhhh…,” he said.
Suddenly, a young woman stepped out from the driver’s seat. She had blonde hair, blue eyes and the most beautiful peach fur Jake had ever seen.
“Ooooh…. Ahhhh…,” Jake said, falling completely in love with the young woman.
“Hello,” she said with a giggle.
Jake continued staring. “Oh. Hello.” He paused. “Nice car.”
“Thank you,” she said, “I made it myself. I built it with some glue and tape. Teehee. But, even though I built it, I don’t know what’s wrong with it.” She batted her eyes. “Can you help me, please, Razor… I mean, Jake.” She giggled.
“You know who I am?” He grinned goofily.
“Of course I do! I saw you and I just knew. It’s true love you know.” She grinned at him as well.
“It is?” He smiled. “So… What’s your name?”
“Angel. My mother named me that because that’s what I am. Teehee.”
“Woooow…” Jake said, ogling. “What a suiting name. I love you, my Angel.”
“I love you too, Jakey-poo!” she said before snogging Jake senseless.
Just then, Chance broke them off. “Hey, Jake. Who is the beautiful strange she-kat who is kissing away your common sense?”
Jake broke off his kissing. “It’s Angel. We just met; I don’t know her last name or her past, but I still love her, and she loves me.”
Angel giggled. “I love Jake, and I know you’re the Swat Kats, by the way.”
“You do? How?” Chance asked.
“Easy. I saw Jake, and because it’s true love, I just knew. Plus, I’m Callista’s great granddaughter, so I know almost everything in the world, and I know how to do magic, but even though I do know magic, am overly beautiful, and could take over the world, I’m still just little old me. Teehee. I never brag about what I can do, even though I’m much better than everyone else. Plus, I have no skeletons in my closet, since the author didn’t bother with giving me a history. Teehee.”
“Oh,” Chance said, trying to sound as if he understood what she just said, even though he didn’t since the author had made him too dumb.
Jake stared at his newfound love. “I love you, and, since you’re so perfect, you must become a Swat Kat! And then, maybe Chance and I could retire as you can do this so much better than we can.”
“Oh, thank you. I know I’m so much better than you are, but I still want you to be Swat Kats, so I can save you over and over again and brag about how I’m so perfect without showing it.” She smiled, flashing her blindingly white teeth.
“Oh, okay. You are now a new Swat Kat,” Chance said. “But, you must get a Swat Kat call sign and since ‘Kat’ is used by another Mary Sue, you can use Swat instead.”
“No,” she said between kisses. “I have a better name; call me Princess ‘cause I rule.” She batted her purple eyes at Jake.
“Nice name… nice purdy purple…” He blinked. “Say, didn’t you have blue eyes?”
“Yes, but since I’m perfect, I can change that whenever I want. Teehee.”
“Ooooh, ahhh…” both Jake and Chance said.
“Now, we must continue kissing because the moon is in third stage of Mars which will make a lovely photo together with us, the perfect couple.”
“Uh,” Jake said, trying to sound as if he understood what she just had said, which he didn’t, since he no longer had any common sense and because the last sentence just didn’t make any sense at all.
“Oh, just kiss me, you less than me intelligent guy,” Angel said, grabbing Jake.
“Okay.” He kissed her.
Chance stared at them both. “Oooooh… pretty colors…”
Suddenly, Angel broke off. “Now, since Jake and I are together and love each other, you must move out, Chance, so that Jake and I can have at least fifteen million perfect kids together. Teehee.”
“Okay,” Chance said before walking in to pack his bag. “I’ll see you at your wedding… or when we’re doing some Swat Katt-y stuff.”
“Bye,” both Jake and Angel said before continuing kissing.
“Teehee,” Angel giggled. “Let’s go inside and plan our wedding.”
“Okay,” Jake said.
And, they lived happily ever after.
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