Original SWAT Kats Story

Dear Ariel

By Calvin Wong

  • 1 Chapter
  • 2,605 Words

Ariel Clawson has a discussion with Alberto Knox.

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Dear Ariel,
Who are you?

Who are you?
I am Ariel Kranen Clawson.

Who is Ariel Kranen Clawson? Could you have been born Delise, Linda, Amy, or even Henrietta?

I suppose.

But will you be the same person?

Maybe. It’s just names, right?

Is it? Think about it. If you were to introduce yourself as, say, Jennifer West, would you feel strange?

Maybe.

If you were born Jennifer West, would you feel strange about introducing yourself as her?

No.

Then who are you?

I am a she-kat who lives in Megakat City.

There are plenty that fit your description. But, really, who are you? Are you an insect? Are you a bird? Are you a fish?

I am a kat.

Are you sure about that?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Where does the world come from?

Where does the world come from, Ariel?

I don’t know. God created it?

If you wish to believe so, then do. But then, who created God?

Another God before him?

But then, who would have created that god, and all those gods before him? Did god always exist?

Maybe.

If he always existed, how could the universe have always existed? Have there been previous universes before this one? Before the big bang, could there have been a big crunch?

Most probably.

Where would all those previous universes come from? Could something have come from nothing?

No.

Then where did the world come from?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Why are we here?

Why are we here?

Because we were meant to be.

Are you sure?

Not really.

Then why are we here?

Evolution?

Perhaps.

Stroke of luck?

Not so probable.

Then why are we here?

That’s for you to answer, Ariel.

Really, I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Do you believe in Fate?

Do you believe in Fate?

I guess so.

But what is Fate?

Fate is your Destiny.

What is Destiny?

Destiny is what is bound to happen to you.

Do you believe?

Not really..

Then how do you see what is going to happen?

You don’t.

So you just go with the flow?

Maybe.

Do you want to control your future?

If possible.

If possible, would you want to?

Yes.

So you don’t believe in Fate?

Not really.

Do you believe in Fate?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Is there a basic substance that everything is made of?

Is there a basic substance that everything is made of?

I suppose.

Everything in the universe must have some root, some element that it came from, right?

It should be so.

So what is this substance? Or is there even a substance?

Maybe.

If so, what is it?

There must be something..

Is there a basic substance that everything is made of?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Can water turn into wine?

Can water turn into wine?

No.

Don’t jump to conclusions. Do you know the miracle where Jesus turned water into wine?

Yes, I’ve heard about it.

Do you believe it?

I’m not really sure about my religion yet.

Religion has nothing to do with it.

So, water can turn into wine?

I’m asking you.

I’m not sure.

Can water turn into wine?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Is sickness a punishment from the gods?

Is sickness a punishment from the gods?

Maybe so.

Doesn’t science say that bacteria and germs cause sickness?

Yes.

Where do these bacteria and germs come from?

Nature created them.

Who created Nature?

God?

Then sickness must be god’s punishment, right?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
What came first, the chicken, or the idea ‘chicken?’

Which came first, the chicken or the idea of it?

I suppose the chicken came first.

Why would you say that?

Well…

Ariel, do not jump to conclusions!

Alright.

So which came first?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Are we born with innate ideas?

Are we born with innate ideas?

Kittens have no language, but do they have ideas? Hmmm.

Yes. Curious, isn’t it Ariel? We don’t really know if we are born with a full set of creativity and imagination. We could have been born geniuses.

Or morons.

Exactly, Ariel.

So why are we even asking this question?

Are we born with innate ideas?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
What is the difference between a plant, an animal and a kat?

What is the difference between a plant, an animal, and a kat?

Plants have no emotion or thought, only reactions towards certain aspects of nature.

Can you be so sure?

Maybe.

What about animals?

Animals can think, but we do not know what they are thinking.

Animals are capable of voluntary movement and have social castes.

Can you be so sure?

Maybe.

Kats?

As far as we know, kats are the highest form of evolution. We are intelligent and able to perform delicate psychical actions. We also have far superior mental knowledge to the other inhabitants of our world.

Can you be so sure?

Maybe.

What is the real difference?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Why does it rain?

Why does it rain?

Rain gives the necessary means for plats to grow. When plants grow, animals can eat them. Animals also need to drink this water. It rains because rain gives life.

What if rain never fell? Would there be life on this planet?

No.

Why does it rain?

Hmm. I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Is there such a thing as natural modesty?

Is there such a thing as natural modesty?

I’m not sure about that.

Come on.

I’ve read that in certain cultures, it is natural to be naked. They don’t feel embarrassed or anything like that.

Exactly my point. But is there natural modesty?

Modesty is an absence of vanity or conceit.

But is it natural? Is it innate?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Is there any will of meaning behind what happens?

Is there any will of meaning behind what happens?

There should be.

But is there?

How should I know?

You are the philosophy student, not me. You answer that.

Hmm. If something happens, is there something behind it that makes it happen?

Exactly my point. Why does a leaf fall? Why do birds fly? Why do fish swim?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
What does it take to live a good live?

I guess it takes, health.

What else?

I don’t believe that material wealth is necessary for a good life.

Then what is?

I read somewhere that some people could be totally happy even though they have nothing.

So, what does it take?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
What is time?

What is time?

Time is the distance between two happenings.

What is this distance?

Time.

But what exactly is it?

I’m not so sure.

Time. It rules us, governs our life. But what is it?

That’s the problem. Hmm. I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Is there life after death?

Is there life after death?

There has been no actual proof of an after life, but most religions, Christianity and Islam included, believed that depending on how you behaved in you life, you would be sent to either Heaven or Hell.

Can this be proved?

No. No one has ever died and come back to tell about it.

There have been many near-death scenarios in which people think they have seen themselves, because their spirit saw their bodies. Is this true, or is it merely imagination? Is there a bright light at the end of the tunnel?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Does kat have an immortal soul?

Does kat have an immortal soul?

It is difficult to say.

Is the body merely a shell for the soul, when the body dies, the soul will live on, finding another body and inhabiting it?

If so, I could be Eve, or Alexander the Great, or Genghis Khan?

Possibly. You could even have been Plato, or Aristotle.

Wow.

But is this true?

I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
Are tom-kats and she-kats equally sensible?

Are tom-kats and she-kats equally sensible?

Are you being sexist?

No, I just asked a question.

Sensibility is not an issue here.

Yes it is.

Oh boy. This is a toughie. Are both the sexes equally sensible?

That was the question.

I’m not sure. In my opinion, she-kats make better leaders.

Because you’re a she-kat.

Now you’re being sexist!

No I’m not. Different people have different opinions.

And your point is?

That’s for you to answer.

Sigh. I don’t know.

Think about it.


Dear Ariel,
I have bombarded you with questions enough. Sit and digest these.

He who cannot draw on three thousand years is living hand to mouth.

Darkness has no existence of its own. It is merely lack of light.

Wisest is she who knows that she does not know.

True insight comes from within.

If you don’t think, you’re not really a kat.

At some point something must have come from nothing.

The only thing we require to be good philosophers is the faculty of wonder.

Nothing can come from nothing.

The fortuneteller is really trying to ‘foresee’ something that is unforeseeable.

God is not a puppeteer.

Going only part of the way is better than going the wrong way.

The path of mystery leads inwards.

Kats are condemned to be free.

We are stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story, and the greatest good is little enough, for all life is a dream.

Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, and now I no longer know
whether I am me, who dreamed I was a butterfly, or whether I am a
butterfly dreaming that I am me.

All the world’s a stage,
And all the tom-kats and she-kats merely players,
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one kat in his time plays many parts.

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then it is heard no more, it is a tale,
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

This is the last you will ever hear from me in a long time, Ariel. Au Revoir!

Yours truly,
Alberto Knox.

EPILOGUE

Ariel sat in her mother’s room, thinking about Alberto Knox. All the conversation she had had with him. Although Jake was alarmed at the fact that a one-year-old kitten would be getting all this mail, he decided that the letters were for her, not him, and left Ariel alone. Each had only one sentence, each a question. The conversations were interesting, and Ariel’s head always spun while trying to answer the unanswerable.

Alberto meant well, she knew it. He was a philosopher extreme, not even her brother Jac’ke could have been able to match up with him. Why all the confusing questions, she did not know. Ariel knew full well that she would still be asking herself these questions for a long time. As she drifted off to sleep, the words echoing louder and louder in her head.
Who are you?
Where does the world come from?
Wisest is she who knows she does not know…
Why does it rain?
What is space?
True insight comes from within.
If you don’t think, you’re not really a kat.
Who….
Why…..
What…..
When……
Where……
Think about it, Ariel.
Think about it………

The end. That’s it! No more! Finito! Ende! Habis! Fin! Fine! THE END! GET OUT OF HERE!

Just kidding. Comments, questions, to globemanet@ppp.nasionet.net

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