Original SWAT Kats Story

Death of the Teletubbies

By BlackRazor

  • 2 Chapters
  • 983 Words

Razor’s second attempt at the Dimensional RADAR sends them to an alternate dimension… again.

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Author's Notes:

NOTE : If you like the Teletubbies and are against people that want them to die, Please do not read this fan fiction before you suffer massive psychological damage. I don’t want to be sued (again)

Chapter 1

“Hey, Razor, You REALLY think that this attempt at the Dimensional RADAR is actually going to WORK?”

<Thunder clap>

“Well, the weather seems to be getting nasty , let’s give it a try.”

After activating the Dimensional RADAR, the TurboKat was hit by lightning bolt and was thrown into an alternate dimension. A dimension that looked a helluva lot more peaceful than MegaKat City.

“Well, Razor, You did it again: YOU GOT US IN ANOTHER SCREWY DIMENSION!”

“Damn. I actually thought it was going to WORK this time,” Razor cursed at his failure.

“Razor, What the hell *ARE* those things?” T-Bone pointed out a group of multi-colored gorilla-looking creatures.

“I don’t know, T-Bone, but they look like Viper’s creations,” Razor joked.

“Okay, I’ll agree with that.”

T-Bone cautiously landed the TurboKat on a particular mushy ground with flowers EVERYWHERE. The two-some hopped out of there jet and examined what looked like ‘group hug’. The Teletubbies, seeing that they had visitors, did the only thing they know how to do: LOVE THE HELL OUT OF SOMETHING.

The red one along with the purple one simultaneously screeched, “Again! Again!” and started hugging Razor as he made faces of disgust. On the other hand, the green one tried to hug T-bone but failed at it. T-Bone didn’t want to end up like his partner.  He pulled out his glovatrix and shot a Mini-torpedo at the overgrown multi-colored terror, converting the ‘lovable’ Telletubie to a green bloody heap.

“Eat S*** and Die.”

Razor, following the same scherade, did the same except did something less violent, used a little bottle called ‘Pepper Spray’ and shot the loving bastards in the face, making it fall over screaming in pain. It was no longer asking to do it ‘Again! Again!’.

“Let’s get out of here!’ T-Bone panickingly said to his partner willing to do the same.

T-Bone, pissed at the experience, maneuvered the TurboKat so it was nearing the ‘lovable’ group. Razor, catching on to what T-Bone wanted him to do, aimed a Slicer Missile and a pair of Srambler missiles at the yellow one.

The yellow one, not knowing what to do, just stood there smiling, until the Scrambler missile barbecued him and the Slicer Missile tore him to pieces following it.

T-Bone was some what being entertained by this gruesome massacre.  He then screamed vulgar statements at the already-dead yellow one with the TurboKat’s on-board P.A. system.

Razor, suddenly remembering what kind of hell the red one and the purple one put him in, got enraged and pelted the bastards with the cement machine gun. Completing their life story.

(Author’s Note: Although it was too silly to write in image in Stan from South Park saying “Oh My, G-d! You killed the Telletubbies! You’re NOT Bastards!”)

“Razor, do you think we got all of them now?”

“Yeah, I think so… Hey, What’s that?” Razor questioned as he pointed to what looked like a house built into the ground.

“Let’s go check it out.”

T-Bone swiftly landed the TurboKat next to the little home. The SWAT Kats jumped out and went inside.

“RAZOR! HELP! THIS VACUUM CLEANER IS HAUNTED!” T-Bone panickingly said as the Vacuum Cleaner looking like thing chased him around.

T-Bone, thinking quickly, turned around and blasted it. Not only did it explode in a fiery shower of sparks, it threw its contents everywhere : Dust, Paper, Shit, etc.

Razor’s knack for anything mechanical and electronic examined it.  “Hmmm… T-bone, looks like an ordinary vacuum cleaner to me, are you sure you’re not high again?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Yech, what kinda dump IS THIS?”

“I don’t know, whatever THIS is they have no taste.”

“No beer either.”

“Hey, Razor, didn’t you say you always wanted to test that Nuke you were working on?”

“Oh, Yeah … Lemme go get that,” Razor said with the wickedest grin ever seen.

“He he he,” T-bone laughed evilly.

Razor came back with a pill the size of a TV, with several buttons and a Digitized clock that read ‘5:00 READY’.

“5 minutes until this Telletubby-land goes bye-bye,” Razor confirmed after setting the timer.

“Ready?”

“Yeah … GO!” Razor yelled as they ran to the TurboKat.

They took off from Telletubbie-land just in time to see three-fourths of it converted to gardening mulch.

“Alright!” T-Bone screamed as grass, flowers and bits & pieces of rabbits were tossed around as if in a blender.

The little grinning baby inside the sun, not liking what he just saw, started crying, which triggered a massive thunder-storm.

“Hey, Razor, get the Dimensional RADAR up, we’re leaving this dump” T-Bone said.

“Come on..Come on…Got it!” Razor said, trying to get it working again.

Just then, a lightning bolt hit the TurboKat and sent them back to MegaKat City.

“OK…That was…interesting…,” Razor said he looked to make sure they were in MegaKat City.

“Let’s head home…”

“Roger that.”


Dr. Viper : What do you mean my creationsss were violently blew up by masssked mobsterssss?!

PBS : Now , calm down, Mr. Viper, I am sure we can show the little kids reruns until you create more bastards…err…Teletubbies.. OK?

Dr. Viper : FINE. I better get paid for thissssss.


 

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