SWAT Kats is a trademark of Hanna-Barbera. The characters Conrad the Tiger and Captain Rick Welbourne are my own, plus any other Krieglandonians mentioned.
While out on patrol in their Turbokat, T-Bone and Razor flew by the sea. They seemed to have gotten more action in the water than in other parts of Megakat City, and this was no exception.
“Hey, T-Bone!” Razor called. “Look at that sinking ship.”
“Yeah, buddy, but look at who’s rescuing it,” T-Bone replied. “Who could that be?”
“I don’t know, but we better back him up.”
“Roger!” T-Bone flew the Turbokat closer to the sinking ship, where the rescuer was doing all he could to help.
When the SWAT Kats gave him a hand with their giant magnet, he was more than grateful, as were the cheering crowds, who acknowledged the SWAT Kats’ deed.
When the ships got to the land area where the SWAT Kats landed the Turbokat, the Enforcers, who had been sent to back the SWAT Kats up (with Commander Feral now respecting them and liking them), had started to return to base. Feral, Felina, the Sergeant, and Lenny Ringtail (because of his status as the official police detective of the Enforcers; as a result, he dressed casually) watched as the SWAT Kats exited their jet and made their march over to the officers.
“Pulled off another one, eh, SWAT Kats?” Feral asked in glee.
“You bet, Commander,” T-Bone replied with a salute. Razor followed suit. “Don’t know who the rescuer was, but we felt it was our duty to back him up.”
“We felt it was ours to back you up, but it wasn’t necessary. Still, it’s better, just in case. Now, let’s see who the daring and adventurous rescuer is, shall we?”
“Let’s see,” said Razor. The group turned towards the ship the rescuer was approaching. Only the Sergeant recognized him, and soon wished he had his drum with him. He could hear a beat going in his mind as the rescuer approached the Enforcers and the SWAT Kats.
The rescuer was none other than Conrad the Tiger, the greatest sailor ever to sail the seven seas of Kriegland, and the most decorated of the former planet’s navy (former, because the Quarrelsome Quartet destroyed it with their Laser Beam 5000, but thanks to Corey the Tiger, Drum Corp Sergeant and mastermind inventor, the whole population escaped well before then). Conrad always looked tall and proud in his white sailor uniform. He was noted for his ship, the S.S. Siberian, and how it was always first to fight out enemies at sea (and in the sky, as the ship also stored fighter planes). Also, within the soldiers of the fleet was the planet’s greatest fighter pilot, Captain Rick Welbourne (and Conrad’s most loyal soldier; he always obeyed orders without question and was almost always the first to arrive to his plane and take off).
The Sergeant snapped to attention as Conrad finally made his way to where Feral and the SWAT Kats were. Lenny grabbed a notepad and a pencil and began to take notes. Felina yawned.
“Greetings,” Conrad began. “You must be the SWAT Kats.”
“Yep,” T-Bone replied. “He’s Razor, and I’m T-Bone.”
“And, I am Commander Ulysses Feral, head of the Enforcers. That’s my niece, Lt. Felina Feral, over there. That’s my Sergeant, and that’s our detective, Lenny Ringtail, even if he doesn’t look like one. Who are you?”
The Sergeant gave a salute on his introduction.
“The name’s Conrad. Conrad the Tiger. I’m of the Kriegland navy.”
“Oh, you’re a Krieglandonian? Well, it’s always nice to have a Krieglandonian with us.”
“Oh, thank you. Do you know the story of our planet’s destruction?”
“Yes, we do.”
“Okay, good. Then I don’t have to say much. At least I’ve got backup.” His last remark was directed towards Captain Rick Welbourne approaching, wondering what was going on. He had also seen Conrad struggling to save the passengers and wanted to go into action.
“Hey, buddy,” T-Bone said to Razor. “We’re not the only fighter pilots in this town!”
“That’s a good sign. All for one, and one for all.”
“Commodore, I saw you struggling down there,” Rick began. “Am I too late?”
“Unfortunately, yes. But, it’s all good. All those passengers are safe, thanks to the SWAT Kats.”
“I see.” Rick turned to the SWAT Kats. “Is that you?”
“Yep. T-Bone and Razor,” Razor replied, gesturing towards T-Bone and himself.
“And, we’re the top Enforcer officers.”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m Captain Rick Welbourne, Kriegland’s most distinguished fighter pilot.”
“I can see that,” said Feral. “Can you tell us a little bit about your roles as soldiers?”
“Well, simply put,” Conrad spoke up, “I am head of the S.S. Siberian, the best battleship in the fleet. Well, I was, until those idiots that make up the Quarrelsome Quartet destroyed our home with their Laser Beam 5000. Since you know all about that, I’ll just go ahead and say we were fortunate to bring those Golbarkan pirates to justice. They are true space pirates. I mean, they can travel on sea or in the air and/or space, but they act like stereotypical pirate swashbucklers who sometimes sing that song ‘Sixteen Men on the Dead Man’s Chest.’ It was Rick who captured them, and at a very crucial moment, too.”
“Those pirates were using a toxic ammo dump to infiltrate our secrets and military bases that involve toxic ammo,” Rick explained. “They had also taken one of our KALC army generals, Leo Cornwallis, and had him prisoner. Now, it’s actually illegal to commit suicide on Kriegland, especially by means of the game Russian Roulette. But, Leo wasn’t playing the game himself; the pirates were the ones taking the bullet, putting it into the cylinder, spinning the cylinder, and putting the gun up to Leo’s head. Leo would have been willing to die for his country, no doubt about it, but as it turns out, he got lucky and didn’t have the bullet go through his head, and that’s when I found them. As the pirates were about to put another bullet and do the whole thing again, bombs away!”
“Of course, he had to pay the penalty of flying off without telling me where he was going, but I could not let myself get angry at him. When General Cornwallis arrived on the ship with him and the captured pirates, who by this point were struggling to get out of the net Rick had dropped on them, I knew a victory was happening.”
“Make a good TV series, wouldn’t it?” Lenny quipped.
“Oh, yes, it would,” Feral chuckled. “You gotta love it when the military pulls off a win.” He turned back to Rick. “What’s this I hear about you arriving late?”
“That’s because I was away on a mission,” said Rick. “When I got word of the how the Q4—that’s Quarrelsome Quartet abbreviated—destroyed Kriegland but everyone was safe thanks to Corey, as you know, I was delivering weapons to Bengalia, an all-tiger planet in our solar system, the Forsythe System. They, along with the all-lion planet of Leonine, were fighting the Cridoggian War with Golbarka, which was ultimately won shortly after Kriegland was destroyed. Both of those planets were sensing it would happen because our planet was dying anyway from bad ecosystems, but they never expected this. The Q4 saw me and thought we all wanted revenge on them, when in fact, no one did. We’re peaceable by nature, unless you’re part of the military, of course.”
“Uh-huh,” said Razor.
Feral cleared his throat.
“I was fortunate enough to crash-land in Bengalia, however. As soon as they recognized me, the President of Bengalia, Martin Shays, went into a weird monologue of some prophecy that came true when I captured the pirates. It had something to do with ‘an outside savior,’ as he put it, coming to their aid. He ordered my plane repaired free of charge while I helped store the goods onto the delivery trucks. Within five or six minutes, I was airborne again. Several days later, I found America, and with the help of the Cat of Steel, SUPERCAT, I was able to land safely and reunite with Commodore Conrad here.”
“Truth be told, I do not think we’ll ever have another soldier like Rick,” Conrad smiled.
“I thank you, Commodore, but they say the same about you, and about John the Tiger, for that matter. John’s the bandleader, by the way, whose fame is rivaling only Leo the Patriotic Lion.”
“Leo we’ve met,” T-Bone replied. “He had Razor and I participate in some drum and fife corp that promoted one of his speeches promoting the American flag.”
The conversation continued throughout the day and all that night at the hangar and at the Mexican restaurant everyone ate at. Conrad and Rick later met the rest of the SWAT Kats Band, with Captain Grimalken introduced last (and overdoing the improv on this guitar). Overall, it was a great day to relax and meet up with the finest navy soldiers you’d ever get to see.
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