Barry Gordon gets Laryngitis. v 1.0
By P. I. Hackle
To Jade: Good writing is hard to find. However, the New Jersey Public Library System has more than enough from you.
O. K. I’m back. This story was dreamed up by me and DJ Clawson over the summer, and I’ve finally got around to writing it. If you know of any Barry Gordon voices that I don’t have, let me know and it’ll make the next edition. There’s no time line or continuity here, just silly story, which will begin now.
———————- Prologue ———————-
The Pastmaster was in his lab. He was preparing to make Callista marry him, and he wanted to make sure those infernal SwatKats didn’t get in his way. The one called Razor always told his companion, T-Bone what to do. He knew that if Razor couldn’t speak, it would be harder for them to try and foil his plan. He chanted a spell…
Hear me all in Time and SPace My losses are a great disgrace. Against his voice use an iveabrase.
The spellbook floaded and gload, and a bold of energy came from it. soon….
—————————————— Chapter One–Hi. I’ve got Barry Gordon’s Voice ——————————————
Junior Wentworth was being more of a stuck up spoiled brat than usual. Today was the day that that no good All Star was going to get it. As he plotted his revenge, the vortex was opening above him…
Inky, the ghost also had revenge on his mind. Pac-Man got away from him too many times, and he felt that one good attack would be it. The portal made its grab.
Donatello was tinkering with his trans-dimensional portal. Finally, they could take the battle right to Shredder. However, a portal grabbed him first…
A book was beign pushed. It was the 27th volume of the great works of Brainy Smurf. The pusher was being pulled into a time vortex. The smurf who the book was being forced on to was running away.
BWONT BWONT BWONT BWONT BWONT BWONT The alarm inside the SwatKats hangar was going off.
“YEs Miss Briggs?”
“T-Bone–The Pastmaster’s after me again!”
“We’re on our way. Razor! Razor?”
While T-Bone was talking to Callie, the vortex went and swept Razor Away.
——————————- Chapter Two–Gee, nice voice ——————————-
The many parts played by Barry Gordon were landing in a hotel meeting room. Not a cheap meeting room, nor an expensive one, but a Triple-A 3 diamond room. Jr. Wentworth had his air horn thingie in a pitcher of water, then pulled it out and threw the pitcher across the room.
“What’s in the water here? Yech!”
The many parts played by Barry Gordon were landing in a hotel meeting room. Not a cheap meeting room, but not an extrememly nice one, either. It was your average Triple-A Three Diamond hotel meeting room. Jr. Wentworth had his air horn thingie in a pitcher of water. Finding the contents absolutely disgusting, he pulled the horn out, and threw the pitcher across the room.
“What the hell is that stuff?”
This process drenched Brainy Smurf who replied “Hey-Do you mind? Geniuses like myself do not need to be the target of your errors.”
“Oh can it, short stuff.”
“Go play in the mud.”
“Ooh. Scary. That hurt. You aren’t worth my time, shrimpo.”
Inky just sat there or did the thing that his ghost thing in the corner and kept quiet. The portal carrying Donatello and Razor (Those things always meet up somewhere, or run parallel, and exit at a point.), opened, and its captives fell to the floor.
“Ow. Where am I?”
“DON”T ASK THAT!” yelled the first three occupants, angry that the others would ask such a blunt question.
“I think I’ve heard your voice before” said Don. “Come to think of it, I think I’ve heard ALL your voices before.”
“I wonder how to get out of here.” Said Razor.
Don took his bo stick, and hit the wall with it. The bo stick broke.
“Darn. I was getting attached to that one.”
“Oh. Yes. That’ll work just perfectly. Just leave this to the intelligence of Brainy Smurf.”
“Whatever! I, Junior Wentworth, the Snork Supreme shall do the job.”
“Anyone tell you guys that you have stupid voices?” asked Razor.
“YEAH?!?” shouted Don “Wekk YOU”VE GOT A STUPID VOICE!”
“AT LEAST MY CARTOON HAS THEME MUSIC BY AC/DC AND QUEEN! YOU JUST HAVE THAT DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH.”
“HEY-THAT”S COOL! IF ANYONE HAS A STUPID THEME SONG, IT”S THOSE DAMN SNORKS!”
“HEY! WE ROCK! BLUNDRY SMURF HAS THE DUMB MUSIC!”
“AT LEAST WE DIDN”T GET AXED BY tED tURNER. AND PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF US! UNLIKE THAT BLUE TWIT, INKY!”
“OUR VIDEO GAME WAS A BEST plAYED! IT”S JUST THAT OUR CARTOON WAS FAILED AT FIRST, AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, WE GOT PICKED UP BY USA!”
“DON”T BLAME USA! THEY”RE THE ONLY PLACE TO SEE ‘MURDER SHE WROTE’!” screamed Donatello.
“MURDER SHE WROTE?!?!?! YOU WUSS!” replied Razor.
“HEY! THE PERFECT BRAINY SMURF WILL SOLVE THIS!”
“SHUT UP!!!” Yelled Razor, as he stomped Brainy out of existance.
“THAT”S TOO MUCH!” shouted Don.
“BITE ME, SHELL BOY! I”M GETTING OU——”
“I can’t talk!” squeaked Inky.
“I can’t either,” forced out Jr. Wentworth.
“Ow.” Whispered Brainy.
“Sorry.” Said Don, through a thoroughly pained voice.
“Yeah, me too. Hey-look!” murmered Razor.
A man apppeared, wearing a Military Lawyer’s uniform. He squeaked:
“I’m Barry Gordon, and you’ve all given me Laryngitis.”
All the characters appeared home, and they went on as normal.
OI! Whatja tink? Email Comments, suggestions, etc. to:
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Have a nice life, and all the stuff in this story is
(c)1997 P. I. Hackle All Rights Reserved.
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